The Hallow (2015)

Number Rolled: 71

Movie Name/Year: The Hallow (2015)

Tagline: Nature has a dark side.

Genre: Horror

Length: 96 minutes

Rating: NR

Production Companies: Occupant Entertainment, Hyperion Media Group, Prescience, Altus Media (Five), The Electric Shadow Company, Bord Scannan ne hEireann / Irish Film Board, Fantastic Films, Altitude Film Entertainment, Hallow Film

Producer: John Brady, Jules Claassen, Will Clarke, Cathleen Dore, Rory Gilmartin, John Jencks, Deirdre Levins, Michael J. Mailis, Brendan McCarthy, John McDonnell, Joe Neurauter, Kate Sharp, James Swarbrick, Jay Taylor, Susan Wrubel

Director: Corin Hardy

Writer: Corin Hardy, Felipe Marino, Tom de Ville

Actors: Joseph Mawle, Bojana Novakovic, Michael McElhatton, Michael Smiley, Gary Lydon, Wren Hardy, Stuart Graham, Conor Craig Stephens, Joss Wyre, Charlotte Williams, Luc Walsh

Blurb from Netflix: When a London man moves his family into a secluded mill house, he discovers that the surrounding forest is filled with demons who prey on children.

Selina’s Point of View:

The Hallow was absolutely incredible and I can never, ever, watch it again.

I was so totally creeped out by this film that there were a couple of scenes I simply couldn’t watch. At all. I had to look away from the screen completely and wait for some kind of cue that said the story had moved on to another scene. There were moments of gut-wrenching anticipation, triggers… I just… I can never watch this film again.

Although this film is not torture porn-esk, it’s still very much not for the squeamish. Keep that in mind if you intend to watch.

Cat’s Point of View:

I was really excited when this movie came up. I’ve mentioned before my love for all things Irish, yes? I probably have about 3 anthology books of Irish ghost stories. This movie was filmed and based in Ireland and draws partially on Irish folktales. Talk about a win-win, right?

I can assure you that while I do have a bias in favor of Ireland, I still managed to watch this movie with an open mind.

It’s said that the director, Corin Hardy (Strangers, In the Back, Watchtower), applied the influences of Alien (1979), The Evil Dead (1981), and The Thing (1982) paired with the draw from Irish folktales. These influences are definitely apparent throughout the movie - from ambiance to effects.

This film was a creature feature without a whole lot of bells and whistles. I think the heavy use of practical physical effects over computer graphics served this movie well. There were definite bits of CGI here and there, but it didn’t look hokey.

Some of the creature work bothered me but it really was pretty good overall. I think it was because I could clearly tell that there was a person inside a costume instead of a seamless monster performance. This held me back from getting entirely invested in those scenes.

Honestly, I was more unnerved when you couldn’t see the source of what was going on. There’s a lot to be said for the human imagination building an unseen boogeyman in the mind’s eye rather than actually laying eyes on the manifested form.

This appears to be this writer/director’s first full length feature film, so there were definitely lessons that could be taken from this movie into his next. Although, it’s said that Hardy has been tapped to direct the upcoming reboot of The Crow (1994).

I’m a bit skeptical of that entire endeavor. Some things just shouldn’t be messed with. I’ll chalk that up to a big ‘we’ll see.’

I digress.

Here’s another tidbit for you. This isn’t the first time that Michael McElhatton (Parked, Norm of the North, Strike Back) and Joseph Mawle (The Awakening, Shell, Kill Your Friends) have shared the screen. They’ve also been major characters in Game of Thrones (2011-). McElhatton played Roose Bolton on the well-known HBO series, and Mawle portrays the part of Benjen Stark. It’s said that Hardy wrote the lead character part for Mawle after seeing him on the series.

I like that this story delves into the darker side of Irish lore – where things aren’t cute or pretty. Pixies and leprechauns and fairies, oh my! When one thinks of the ‘fair folk,’ images of adorable little smiling faces on tiny creatures with wings or clutching treasure come to mind. The elfin-like sidhe and the Tuatha that live in Tír Na nÓg (the land of eternal youth and beauty) are also popular to envision. There are, however, many things that are not cute, cuddly, friendly, or in any way pleasant.

I am not sure that I’d watch this one again, but I enjoyed most of it.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 71%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 42%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 3.5/5

Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 4.5/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 3.5/5

Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 3/5

The Random Rating: R

P.S. Scenes during the start of the credits that lead to a mid-credit scene.

Movie Trailer:

Leap Year (2010)

Number Rolled: 6

Movie Name/Year: Leap Year (2010)

Tagline: Anna planned to propose to her boyfriend on February 29th. This is not her boyfriend.

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Length: 100 minutes

Rating: PG

Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Spyglass Entertainment, Birnbaum/Barber, BenderSpink, Octagon Films

Producer: Su Armstrong, Gary Barber, Chris Bender, Roger Birnbaum, James Flynn, Jonathan Glickman, Cassidy Lange, Morgan O’Sullivan, Rebekah Rudd, J.C. Spink, Jake Weiner, Erin Stam

Director: Anand Tucker

Writer: Deborah Kaplan, Harry Elfont

Actors: Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Adam Scott, John Lithgow, Noel O’Donovan, Tony Rohr, Pat Laffan, Alan Devlin, Ian McElhinney, Dominique McElligott, Mark O’Regan, Maggie McCarthy, Peter O’Meara

Blurb from Netflix: Anna chooses February 29 to propose marriage to her boyfriend, but after meeting a charming innkeeper, she must evaluate her original plans.

Selina’s Point of View:

This film was dreck.

I was super excited to see Leap Year. I’d heard good things about it and I love Ireland-based movies. My favorite YouTuber is even Irish. (Jakesepticeye was on my top YouTubers list, but not at the top. After I wrote that, however, I saw more and more of his stuff and just fell absolutely in love with him. Now, his intro is my alarm and his outro is my ringtone.)

That being said, I was completely unimpressed with this movie.

Amy Adams (Trouble with the Curve, Man of Steel, American Hustle) definitely did nothing for me as the leading lady and I HATED her character. I didn’t find her likeable or relatable at all. She felt like a forced personality that was too annoying for me to care about.

Not only that, but the plot and script were so predictable that I was practically giving the actors their cues moments before they stepped on screen. There was nothing original about this film. It was as recipe as any movie could get. Like the writer was just trying to churn out the quickest film possible without bothering to care about the content.

Now, it wasn’t ALL bad.

Matthew Goode (Downton Abbey, The Good Wife, The Imitation Game) was phenomenal in his part and his accent was so well done that I had NO idea he wasn’t Irish. The old men that served as comic relief were VERY funny, as well. I’d watch an entire film based around their superstitious banter. Finally, Randy Edelman (27 Dresses, The Big Green, Shanghai Noon) did amazing with the music. It was peppy and very Irish. It fit the beautiful settings and the feel of the movie really well.

Despite the good aspects, Leap Year was not my kind of movie and I don’t feel the need to ever watch it again.

Cat’s Point of View:

I wasn’t exactly in the mood for a rom-com, so you can imagine that I had an internal reaction of ‘oh joy’ when this was the movie that the dice chose for us. Though, that was before I actually started watching it. I’d forgotten that this one was set in Ireland. Of course, I would have watched anyway – because professionalism! It helped me to be considerably more enthusiastic about it, at least.

There’s a bit of a confession I need to make first. I might have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. I have a bit of a bias towards Ireland and things Irish. (‘A bit’ might be an understatement.) I love the sights and sounds of Ireland – from the music to the language…the rugged and pastoral landscape… it just calls to me in ways I can’t quite explain.

Why do I need to make this confession? This film was shot in – you guessed it! – Ireland. I digress.

Amy Adams (Julie & Julia, The Fighter, Her) was a good fit for this movie. Believable as both socialite go-getter with a plan for everything and as the redhead returning to her roots and besieged by Murphy’s Law; it was easy to get invested in her as the main character.

I had tears at one point in the movie. Sure, that’s nothing new for me; but I have to be really emotionally invested in something for it to happen.

The humor of this film was brilliant. In some places it was subtle and others it cracked you over the head, but I didn’t feel that anything was overdone. I could relate to the shenanigans that occurred along the main character’s adventure. (I’m Murphy’s redheaded stepchild, I swear.)

For an English lad, I must say that Matthew Goode (Match Point, Watchmen, Stoker) did a pretty good job with ‘being Irish.’ I couldn’t tell you if his accent was right or not, though. It seemed to be fine to me – but I was just enjoying hearing his voice speak it. His character helped the emotional aspect of the movie immensely.

Sure, this wasn’t the most original plot in the world. In fact, it was a remake of a Bollywood movie Jab We Met (2007) with a gender swap. I didn’t mind, though. I didn’t even mind that they got a bit of their geography turned around.

I would have liked to see more of John Lithgow (Dreamgirls, This is 40, Interstellar) utilized in the film. The brief scene he is involved with does appropriately set up the plot, though. For an actor of his caliber, though, it just seems like a waste.

Before I get too carried away, I’ll leave you with a final bit of trivia. Fans of the History Channel series Vikings (2013-) might find one of the film’s settings familiar. There’s a scene in the movie that takes place at a lake where a large part of that show is filmed in County Wicklow.

I absolutely adored this movie and would definitely watch it again.

Sláinte!

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 21%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 47%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 4/5

Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 2/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 5/5

Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 5/5

Movie Trailer:

Centurion (2010)

Number Rolled: 92

Movie Name/Year: Centurion (2010)

Tagline: Fight or die.

Genre: Action & Adventure

Length: 97 minutes

Rating: R

Production Companies: Pathe Pictures International, UK Film Council, Warner Bros., Canal+, CineCinema, Celador Films

Executive Producer: Francois Ivernel, Cameron McCracken, Paul Smith

Director: Neil Marshall

Writer: Neil Marshall

Actors: Michael Fassbender, Andreas Wisniewski, Dave Legeno, Axelle Carolyn, Dominic West, JJ Feild, Lee Ross, David Morrissey, Ulrich Thomsen, Ryan Atkinson, Paul Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Liam Cunningham, Noel Clarke, Dimitri Leonidas, Riz Ahmed, Imogen Poots, Rachael Stirling

Quintus Dias is a Roman soldier fighting in a war over land when he is captured by the enemy. After his escape, he meets up with a Legion on their way to join the battle.

Selina’s Point of View:

To be honest, I have conflicting feelings about this film.

On one hand, high definition was not a friend to Centurion. I also had some base issues with the script. I got stuck on that “this is neither the beginning nor the end of my story.” Yes it is. It’s the beginning of your damn story. That’s why the movie started there.

I’m not really sure why that phrase annoyed me so much, but it made it hard to take the rest of the movie seriously.

On the other hand, I really liked some of the acting in this film. Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs, A Dangerous Mind, Prometheus), Olga Kurylenko (Magic City, Hitman, To the Wonder), Dominic West (The Affair, The Hour, The Awakening) and Imogen Poots (Filth, Fright Night, Jane Eyre) were the only reason I could even concentrate on the film at all.

Even with great acting, I had trouble enjoying the film.

The problem with my opinion here, is that I don’t think I’m right.

Looking at Centurion objectively, it’s a really good film.

Despite my issues with the script, it really wasn’t bad at all and the characters had significant depth to them. There were twists along the way that should have had me sitting on the edge of my seat. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it was.

Normally, I’d give a confident recommendation, or lack thereof. This time, I can’t do that. I really think I just stumbled over that first monologue and couldn’t get my footing again.

Cat’s Point of View:

I have been looking forward to seeing this movie for a while now. I was fairly bouncy when this was our random result.

I loved the cinematography here – the breadth and scope of the environment captured for the setting of this movie was breathtaking. I truly felt like the protagonists were far from the Roman civilization they’d call home, or any semblance of it.

Can we talk about the action?! It was amazing! The fighting in this film was well choreographed; and the battles were gritty and realistic.

There are so many familiar faces in this film; recognizable across multiple fandoms.

I will admit that my primary draw to this movie was Michael Fassbender (Blood Creek, Jane Eyre, Shame). I first ran across Fassbender in a little known BBC series called Hex (2004-2005).  His character in that series made me want to root for the bad guy a little. I was so excited to see when his career started taking off in more ‘mainstream’ avenues.

Once again, he delivered a superb performance.  He embodied the spirit of his centurion character fighting against the odds, drawing me along with him.

I did mention multiple fandoms, didn’t I? While Fassbender takes care of the Marvel-verse, and even sci-fi enthusiasts that enjoy acid-bleeding aliens, there’s more! Let’s add Doctor Who (2005-),  The Walking Dead (2010-), and even Game of Thrones (2011-).

  

Noel Clarke (Doghouse, Doctor Who, Star Trek Into Darkness), David Morrissey (The Water Horse, The Other Bolyn Girl, The Walking Dead), and Liam Cunningham (Game of Thrones, Clash of the Titans, Safe House) were all enjoyable in their roles beyond the flash of excitement at recognition.

I liked Olga Kurylenko (Erased, Oblivion, The November Man) as Etain in this film. Her performance didn’t resonate quite as well as I would have liked – but it was a difficult role, considering her character was mute and relied on body language alone.

All in all, this was a damn fine film; and I’d recommend it to any who enjoy this genre.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 59%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 42%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 4.5/5

Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 3/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 4/5

Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 4/5

P.S. You can hear wind blowing at the end of the credits, but it does not lead into an extra scene.

Movie Trailer:

The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Number Rolled: 39

Movie Name/Year: The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Tagline: 100% medically accurate

Genre: Horror

Length: 91 minutes

Rating: NR

Production Companies: Six Entertainment

Executive Producer: Ilona Six

Director: Tom Six

Writer: Tom Six

Actors: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura, Andreas Leupold, Peter Blankenstein, Bernd Kostrau, Rene de Wit

Two girls are visiting Germany and decide to head to a club. After getting a flat tire, they come upon a house where a man creepily asks them if they’re alone, they say yes and go inside.

Selina’s Point of View:

There have been very few movies made that I’ve looked forward to seeing less than this.

Actually, now that I think about it? There aren’t any.

I blame Cat completely for this one. Sure, she had never heard of it and thought it would be a creature feature, I still blame her.

I didn’t want to see this film. The premise alone made me shake my head. The movie is even worse than the premise. From acting to writing, this film is terrible. It’s not even the kind of bad that could be laughed at. It was bad and boring.

Congratulations Human Centipede, I think you are the worst film I’ve ever seen. Seriously? I’d watch House of the Dead, the Uwe Boll version, twice over before I watched this one again.

If you’re curious, there’s an episode of Tosh.O that tells the entire story. It was more entertaining than the film. Go watch that instead.

Cat’s Point of View:

This film squarely falls into the category of ‘Things That Cannot be Unseen.’ What aisle is the brain bleach on, again?

At first, I thought this might be some sort of mad-science creature feature. My mind’s eye painted the picture of some mutated creature terrorizing…someone. The reality of this film was a far cry from my imaginings. My guess was practically a flight of fancy through a field of unicorns in comparison to what I watched.

The trailer pretty much gives most of the plot away, though. If you have a high threshold for things absolutely disgusting, and want to be surprised; don’t watch it.

It felt like someone took The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996) and Hostel (2005), threw them in a blender, and then splattered the resulting mess all over the room.

I can’t tell you how many times I felt like I might just vomit, as the film progressed. I lost count.

The acting was hot and cold for me. Undeniably, Dieter Laser (Baltic Storm, I Am the Other Woman, The Human Centipede III:Final Sequence) gave a fantastic performance of being entirely off his rocker.

I do feel I need to give credit to Ashley C. Williams (Empty, Paranormal Movie, Julia), Ashlynn Yennie (American Maniacs, Fractured, The Scribbler),  and Akihiro Kitamura (I'll Be There With You, It's a Beautiful Day, Tokyo Tribe). Their roles took a lot of guts; due to such awkward situations to be stuck in day in and day out of filming. (It had to be that, or desperation.)

I will never watch this film again. Further, I strongly encourage that anyone whom cannot deal with scat in films stay as far from this movie as possible.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 49%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 25%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 1.5/5

Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 0/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 1.5/5

Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 1/5

The Random Rating: R

Movie Trailer:

Grabbers (2012)

Number Rolled: 31

Movie Name/Year: Grabbers (2012)

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Length: 94 minutes

Rating: NR

Affiliated Companies: Forward Films, High Treason Productions, Irish Film Board, Nvizible, Samson Films

Executive Producer: Robert Bevan, David Collins, Nic Hatch, Michael Henry, Samantha Horley, Cyril Megret

Director: Jon Wright

Writer: Kevin Lehane

Actors: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey, Lalor Roddy, David Pearse, Bronagh Gallagher, Pascal Scott, Clelia Murphy, Louis Dempsey, Michael O’Gruagain, Ned Dennehy, Stuart Graham

Erin Island is a fishing village off the edge of Ireland. Life is quiet there, almost too quiet for Guarda Ciaran, until someone finds something in the water. Whatever the creature is, it’s proving to be too much for the little town.

This is technically an alien movie, but it follows the same basic principles of a creature feature. There’s one massive difference, though.

The graphics are relatively insane.

Sure, it’s not perfect, but the way the Grabbers are shown, even their movements are VERY believable. In movies like this, graphics are usually the easiest thing to forgive issues with and, often, it’s necessary. Bad graphics and aliens or creature features go hand in hand. It’s shocking when the creature in question is actually believable.

I’m not even sure I’d classify this as the B-movie I thought it would be.

I enjoyed almost everything about this film. My only issues were with some of the super slow parts. Other than that, the script was hilarious, the aliens were imaginative and the actors were pretty decent in their rolls.

I would watch Grabbers again. The benefits definitely outweigh the flaws.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 72%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 52%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 4.5/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 3.5/5

The Random Rating: R – Language and violence

Movie Trailer: 

Alien Uprising (2012)

Number Rolled: 59

Movie Name/Year: Alien Uprising (2012)

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Length: 101 minutes

Rating: R

Affiliated Companies: Phase 4 Films, Hawthorn Productions

Executive Producer: Joe Pia, Rafael Quintian, Craig Tuohy

Director: Dominic Burns

Writer: Dominic Burns

Actors: Bianca Bree, Sean Brosnan, Simon Phillips, Maya Grant, Jazz Lintott, Andrew Shim, Peter Barrett, Joey Ansah, Amelia Linney, Raji James, Sean Pertwee, Julian Glover, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Perry Fitzpatrick, Christian Howard

A group of buddies go out to a club. After a night of dancing, liquor and sex, they find the world has changed drastically. UFO’s have appeared in the sky and the population of Earth has gone crazy. What started out as fun and games turns into a fight for survival.

This movie is what you would get if you mixed the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds with the original Red Dawn, threw in a little bit of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, put the story in England, and slashed the budget into a tiny fraction of what it should be. Honestly, they probably spent the majority of their budget on Jean-Claude Van Damme. I don’t hate Van Damme, but if that’s where the majority of their casting budget went, they should have reconsidered. One man acting opposite cardboard cutouts does not make a good film.

On top of that, the movie was shot using unnecessary shaky-cam in many of the scenes. I hate shaky-cam when it makes sense, like in The Blair Witch Project; I hate it even more when there’s no cinematic or artistic reason for it.

Despite the issues, and there were many, Alien Uprising was not without some good parts. There was a bit of script in the beginning that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off the couch. There was also the fact that I didn’t hate the ending. I thought it was a little too obvious, in some ways, but only because I like to try and expect the road less traveled.

The point is, if you’re looking for this kind of storyline you’d be better off watching either of the Red Dawns or Tomorrow, When the War Began. If you’re looking for this kind of alien stuff you’d be better off watching any version of War of the Worlds or Independence Day. If you’re looking for a good film with awesome fighting scenes, choose any other Jean-Claude Van Damme action movie. This movie just isn’t worth it.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 16%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.2/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 1.5/5

P.S. This movie’s title was changed to Alien Uprising in 2013 but was created in 2012 under the name U.F.O. – despite the title discrepancy, this is not a remake of the 1970’s work also titled Alien Uprising.

Movie Trailer: 

Cherry Tree Lane (2010)

Number Rolled: 78

Movie Name/Year: Cherry Tree Lane (2010)

Genre: Horror

Length: 77 minutes

Rating: NR

Director: Paul Andrew Williams

Writer: Paul Andrew Williams

Actors: Rachael Blake, Tom Butcher, Jumayn Hunter, Ashley Chin, Sonny Muslim, Jennie Jacques, Corinne Douglas, Kieran Dooner, Tom Kane

Christine and Michael are having a calm dinner at home alone, watching television and talking. When the doorbell rings, they think nothing of it, until the gang of teens burst in and take them hostage.

I have never seen anything like this. It wasn’t the plot that made the movie so different. I mean, it was your basic home invasion, but the way the story was told and acted was insane. There was very little spectacle. Actually, it seemed to be in real-time, as if the audience weren’t just watching retelling, but actually present; a fly on the wall, so to speak.

At first, “Cherry Tree Lane” came off a bit boring. The first ten minutes or so, we’re just watching a couple talk about stuff we don’t get to really learn about. It’s just typical couple stuff, nothing interesting. Once the movie gets going, though, it turns into something creepy and terrifying.

What made it so scary was the realism that went into it. There was a reason for the gang to be intruding on that household. There was a reason they were after someone, and the story went into the mentality of revenge and the violent lifestyle of gang members – the altered theory of morality shown by the different characters. I was thoroughly consumed after a while and desperately in need of cuddles from my dog.

It’s different and out there, but it still hits very close to home with a, “this could happen to anyone,” quality. I absolutely adored the ending, too.

Also, there was a bit of an issue with the sound. I don’t believe it was my TV, but I did have to turn it up to max in order to hear correctly. I’ve reported this issue to Netflix.

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.2/5

Overall Opinion – 4/5

The Random Rating: R - for implied sex, strong violence and explicit drug use.

Movie Trailer: 

Blow Dry (2001)

Number Rolled: 43

Movie Name/Year: Blow Dry (2001)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 90 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Paddy Breathnach

Writer: Simon Beaufoy

Actors: Alan Rickman, Natasha Richardson, Rachel Griffiths, Rachael Leigh Cook, Josh Hartnett, Bill Nighy, Warren Clarke, Rosemary Harris, Hugh Bonneville, Heidi Klum, Peter McDonald, Michael McElhatton, David Bradley, Ben Crompton

A woman, once married to an award winning hairdresser, finds out that her cancer has not gone into remission. At the same time, a hair styling championship contest is held in her town. Seeing this as an opening to get her estranged family together for one last hurrah, she goes about collecting the errant members and entering.

There’s not much to say about the film. It is about as cookie-cutter a film as any I’ve ever seen. The dance competition/sports/underdog films of the past were torn open, replaced with hairdressing, imbued with British accents and otherwise stayed exactly the same. From the first moment the Mayor announces the small town will be hosting the contest, the viewer knows exactly what’s going to happen and where the film is going.

I can usually tolerate recipe films and, sometimes, I even get to give them credit for an interesting ingredient or two they added to get to the end result. I wish I could say that here. The actors credited in this film are well know and very good at what they do and I like the basic recipe of underdog movies. However, the best I can say is that it didn’t completely suck.

Alan Rickman and Rachael Leigh Cook were spectacular in their parts, and most of the other actors were equally brilliant – even given the very mediocre parts they were playing. Also, nobody does a love scene (even small ones) quite like Josh Hartnett. That being said, he should stay far, far, away from British accents. Sometimes he sounded Scottish and other times he dropped the accent completely. It was almost embarrassing to watch.

My last thought on the film is that I don’t agree with the rating. I’m not sure why it was rated R. There was no harsh language, only implied nudity, no extreme violence… I admit I’m confused. If anyone has insight as to the reason, please let me know.

Overall Opinion – 2.5/5

My Little Eye (2002)

Number Rolled: 72

Movie Name/Year: My Little Eye (2002)

Genre: Horror

Length: 95 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Marc Evans

Writer: David Hilton, James Watkins

Actors: Sean CW Johnson, Kris Lemche, Stephen ‘Reilly, Laura Regan, Jennifer Sky, Bradley Cooper, Nick Mennell

In the age of reality television shows, this movie was made to depict five people who sign up to live in a house for six months without outside contact. The great prize is a million dollars, but only if they all remain in the house for the entire time. If one person leaves, they all lose. We come in on the story only a few days before the six month period is up and find that they are all coping just fine. At least, at that point.

The first forty-five minutes of this movie is unbearable. Unnecessary shaky cam, unnecessary blurred angles, boring script. In fact, it’s a bit like watching the uncut footage of an actual reality show. Imagine it, if you will, just a play by play of the actors eating and going to the bathroom and sleeping and talking about nothing. No drama, no horror, nothing worth watching until just about the half-way point in the movie. To be honest, this movie would have been much more successful if they’d cut about a half hour of footage out of it.

Once I got past that terrible first half, the movie started to pick up; there were interesting twist, character development, and the horror aspect started to take effect. I loved the middle and the ending a great deal.

It’s weird. I don’t know if the amazing second half of the movie was enough to overpower the horrible first half. In fact, the balance is so strange that I can even decide if I liked the movie at all. There were equal parts bad and good. I can’t even go to the actors to decide, because they were mostly all mediocre. I love Kris Lemche, but this wasn’t his best performance. It’s like the actors did just enough to portray their characters, but not enough to truly bring them to life.

In the end, this movie failed to make me care. It even failed to make me care that I don’t care.

Overall Opinion – 2/5

The Decoy Bride (2011)

Number Rolled: 55

Movie Name/Year: The Decoy Bride (2011)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 88 minutes

Rating: PG

Director: Sheree Folkson

Writer: Neil Jaworski, Sally Phillips

Actors: Kelly Macdonald, David Tennant, Alice Eve, Hamish Clark, James Fleet, Dylan Moran, Sally Phillips, Michael Urie, Federico Castelluccio

This movie was a recipe movie. When I call something a “recipe movie” it’s because it followed the basic protocols for that type of movie. For instance, this movie was about a famous woman attempting to marry her writer fiancé. The press won’t leave them alone, and so they attempt to go to a remote destination where they hire a decoy bride – a woman to pretend to be her.

Now, if you know romantic comedies, you can be pretty damn sure about where that is heading. There’s a recipe for it. Each person in the film is like an ingredient, not always the same – and substitutions are allowed – but the end product is usually a carbon copy. A preordained dish of either a happy or a sad ending.

These movies become predictable really quick. The best I can do to not spoil the ending is to not mention whether it added the bitter ending zest or the happy ending spice.

Even though it was a recipe movie, it wasn’t bad. The tenth doctor (Doctor Who – David Tennant) is a brilliant actor and I’d watch anything with him in it, regardless of what it’s about. The worst movie in the world could have David Tennant in it and it would go up a full point on my rating because of it. In case you can’t figure it out, I’m a bit of a fan girl for him.

Luckily, this wasn’t the worst movie in the world so I’m not compromising my blogging integrity by saying I enjoyed it. The script was well done, the leading lady was wonderful and the story did what it could with the recipe it was set to follow. Not the greatest thing in the world, but I’d watch it again.

Overall Opinion – 3/5