Friday, December 14, 2012

Girl Walks Into A Bar (2011)

Movie Name/Year: Girl Walks Into A Bar (2011)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 80 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Sebastian Gutierrez
Writer: Sebastian Gutierrez
Actors: Gil Bellows, Xander Berkeley, Alexis Bledel, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Rosario Dawson, Danny Devito, Robert Forster, Carla Gugino, Josh Hartnett, Zachary Quinto, Michelle Ryan, Lauren Lee Smith, Aaron Tveit

I don’t normally stray from my Netflix instant queue for this blog, but a movie that is legally shared on YouTube fits my criteria for cheap (in this case free) instantly streamed movies. So I’m going to make an exception here.

I accidentally watched this movie. Ok. What does that mean? It means, my boyfriend snored me out of bed and I had to kill a couple of hours before he would get up and I would be able to go to sleep. So, what did I intend to do? I did your basic search on YouTube for various bloopers of actors and actresses I like. I came across this little gem, which didn’t fit my search criteria at all, quite by accident.

That was when I did a little bit of research on it. It turns out that this movie was made specifically by Shangrila Entertainment for Internet Distribution only. What does that mean? It means if you follow the link posted above, it will take you to the first part of a ten part movie that will blow your mind.

I can’t imagine how this movie made enough money to pay actors like Zachary Quinto, Josh Hartnett, Danny Devito and Rosario Dawson, but I’m not going to question my good luck.

The story takes place throughout ten different bars/establishments in Los Angeles in a single night, locking together seemingly independent characters in a twisting story that is both highly amusing and very gripping. Lots of strippers, implied violence and some very witty writing.

Free or not, this is the best movie I’ve seen in a month (except for “Drive”). I highly suggest you watch it.

Again, it is posted on YouTube by the company that made it. It is in ten different parts and is easily paused and started again as if they were cut into predetermined chapters. Really, if you’ve got time to blow, you won’t regret blowing it on this.

Overall Opinion – 5/5

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Monsters (2010)

Number Rolled: 72
Movie Name/Year: Monsters (2010)
Genre: Sci Fi & Fantasy
Length: 93 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Gareth Edwards
Writer: Gareth Edwards
Actors: Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able, Mario Zuniga Benavides, Annalee Jefferies, Justin Hall, Ricky Catter, Paul Archer, Kerry Vladerrama, Jonathan Winnford, Stan Wong, Anthony Cristo, Mario Richardson, Jorge Quirs, Erick Arce, Emigo Munkel, Esteban Blanco

I don’t know. It’s like a movie about a documentary maker with some Cthulu looking things strolling around and having weird Avatar alien sex. Ok, granted, the alien sex is single short scene and later on in the movie, but still. I don’t need to see that. It wasn’t even some kind of interesting tentacle hentai thing, it was just… five minutes of, “what the fuck?”

I love ‘end of the world’ movies. I don’t know why. I’m highly looking forward to the 21rst and I hope the networks play all the zombie, weather-related, tornado, end of the world stuff that they can get their hands on. I’m also not going further than two blocks from my house because the population of this world is nuts and will probably go crazy on that day. By the way, if you didn’t know, the world is supposed to end a week from Friday because some Mayan’s ran out of stone for their calendar. Whatever.

Anyway, back to this movie. It’s a movie about, you guessed it, the end of the world as we know it. Great, now I’ve got that song stuck in my head…

The Earth comes in contact with aliens, aliens take over the entire southern U.S., the Earth proceeds in trying to get land back. We miss all that cool stuff and land smack dab in a time where the humans have given up, separate the land into “theirs” and “ours” and attempt to live with the new laws of life. So it’s kind of post-alien-apocalypse, which is actually a really interesting plot. In theory.

I wouldn’t say it was boring… but I would say I expected more out of it. Someone says ‘alien’ film to me and I expect some thrills and chills. The aliens looked awesome, I’ll give them that. Very H.P. Lovecraft. But the script is like a love story gone wrong. The ending was very Soprano’s, very abrupt and there were very few really memorable scenes.

It wasn’t terrible. If it came on TV and I was bored, I might throw it on the screen for background noise. I doubt I’d go out of my way for it, though.

Overall Opinion – 2.5/5

Monday, December 10, 2012

Kicking It (2008)

Number Rolled: 28
Movie Name/Year: Kicking It (2008)
Genre: Documentary
Length: 98 minutes
Rating: NR
Director: Susan Koch, Jeff Werner
Writer: Susan Koch
Actors: Colin Farrell, Brandon Francis

I have a vast enjoyment of movies. I like everything from Horror to Romance to Independent, and everything in between. However, I don’t add many documentaries to my instant queue. It’s not that I’m not curious. Hell, I spend the majority of my free time skimming various reference sites on the internet. Documentaries aren’t just about information though, or at least, they’re not supposed to be. If someone wants to see a regurgitation of information, there are numerous dissertations that can be found through google. When someone wants to be entertained by information they are curious about, they hit up a book or a documentary series/movie. For this reason, I ONLY add to my instant queue documentaries that hold significance to my interests.

I love soccer. I played for four years, coached for two and follow LA Galaxy religiously. I know how much passion for anything can work to help someone rise themselves up from rock bottom. This movie is about aiding the homeless be fanning the flames of a passion in soccer. I’ve also been exposed, through loved ones, to homelessness. My father was homeless when I was a teenager, unfortunately, he wasn’t breaking any stereotypes. He was a drug addict and an alcoholic that participated in various illegal situations in order to get by. I did, however, have a friend during high school that was also homeless. She was as straight-edge as possible; never did drugs, never did alcohol. She’d become homeless because she found it was a better alternative to living in an abusive home. After being attacked in a shelter, she found it was simply easier to live on the streets. She made every goal of hers fit with getting through school and getting a job. Her passion came from art. Last I heard, she was designing dresses for a major company.

This documentary follows the road of six different homeless men who train to and compete in the Homeless World Cup. It’s a bit heartbreaking, as you can imagine, as you learn why these people are homeless and what they must endure to remain alive. A young man who was abused and is angry at the world. A man that fell to drugs and is trying to kick them. A young man in Afghanistan trying to live above the violence. You get to watch each of the subjects fall in love with soccer and work as a team to have that boost of confidence that will help them pick themselves up. Anything that aids someone in helping themselves up from rock bottom, is usually a good thing.

The first half of the movie goes into all this drama and offers an intriguing viewpoint of a subject people usually only see the worst side of. It’s absorbing and quite good. Then it gets into the homeless world cup. The first fifteen minutes after that are just as engrossing. Unfortunately, after that, the documentary tries a little too hard to be something that it’s not. It tries to be a fictional sports movie. Until it tried to be a mainstream movie genre, it was very good. Near the end, I was pausing every few moments to see how long I had until the end and trying not to fall asleep.

Only watch it if you’re REALLY interested in soccer and REALLY interested in documentaries. Otherwise, there’s not point.

Overall Opinion – 2/5