The Cottage (2012)

Number Rolled: 81

Movie Name/Year: The Cottage (2012)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 87 minutes

Rating: NR

Affiliated Companies: Velvet Spoon Productions, Visualeyes Productions

Executive Producer: Nick Antosca, Barbara Jean Barrielle, Timothy J. Brown, Lesley Wright Johnson, Richard A. Lesser, Eric MacIver, Jodi Martin, Nolan Pielak, Jessica Steindorff, Bellamy Young

Director: Chris Jaymes

Writer: Nick Antosca

Actors: David Arquette, Kristen Dalton, Victor Browne, Morissa O’Mara, Alana O’Mara, Franny Hocking, Ken Baumann, Lorraine Nicholson, Bellamy Young, Rome Shadanloo, Kyle Slabotsky, Melanie Aitkenhead, Barbara Jean Barrielle, Charlotte Barrielle, Darren Dalton, Shannon Lewis, Matthew Solomowitz, Moira Squier, Laurent Turlure

Chloe and Michael have only been married a few years. They’ve been having trouble helping Michael’s kids adjust to the union. During their family’s turmoil, a charming author decides to move into their cottage.

I believe the most important thing about a movie is that it holds your interest. Let’s face it, if you can’t pay attention, or you’re bored, it’s not going to matter how good the film is.

The Cottage was guilty of being incredibly slow and lacking any attempt at suspense.

Either the writer or the director decided that the word suspense simply meant looking at stuff. Maybe the actors played a part too, since the dramatic chipmunk video does a better job of portraying suspense through turning around.

Whatever the problem was, I find myself exhausted due to sheer boredom. I’m in desperate need of a nap after sitting through that film.

The plot wasn’t completely terrible. I found that there was some mild creepiness when they weren’t trying too hard.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone watch this one by choice, unless you have insomnia. This movie will work better than any sleeping pill on the market.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 18%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.5/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 1.5/5

The Random Rating: PG-13

Movie Trailer: 

Detention (2011)

Number Rolled: 62

Movie Name/Year: Detention (2011)

Genre: Independent

Length: 93 minutes

Rating: R

Affiliated Companies: Detention Films (II)

Executive Producer: Robert Abramoff, Josh Hutcherson, David Kang, Clayton Reaser, Vernon Reaser

Director: Joseph Kahn

Writer: Joseph Kahn, Mark Palermo

Actors: Alison Woods, Logan Stalarow, Julie Dolan, Shanley Caswell, Will Wallace, Josh Breeding, Josh Hutcherson, Parker Bagley, Marque Richardson, Aaron David Johnson, Michael Esparza, Spencer Locke, Lindsey Morgan, J.R. Osborne, Jonathan Park, Tiffany Boone, Dane Cook, Yves Bright, James Black, Jan Anderson, Travis Fleetwood, Ilana Cohn, Harry Anthony Shelley, Walter Perez, Amanda Leatherman, Tammy Minoff, Carrie Wiita, Eliot Bitting, Richard Brake, Jay Brian Winnick, Erica Shaffer, Aaron Albert, Ron Jeremy

In Grizzly High, things aren’t quite as they seem. The only thing people know for sure is that there’s a killer out there hacking up students. Can the teenagers live a normal life while there’s a murderer on the loose?

Ok, I know, it was a terrible description. Let me explain.

Going into this movie, I knew nothing about it. No, that’s a lie. I knew Josh Hutcherson would be in it and I had some base knowledge of his character (Clayton). I enjoy Tumblr and Tumblr enjoys Hutcherson. That being said, I found that knowing nothing about the movie, to begin with, was the best possible way to watch it.

Detention is ridiculous, terrible, amazing, weird and completely random. Knowing nothing about the movie’s plot meant that everything caught me off guard. It made the movie even more enjoyable.

The 80’s and 90’s references, the pop-culture references, all of them were spot-on and just perfect. I particularly enjoyed the ending.

For me, personally, I can see this movie as being one of my favorites. However, I can also understand why not everyone would like it. There are aspects that are anywhere from a little to a lot over the top. I’d label Detention a “cult” movie, easily. People who like it are going to love it; people who don’t might not even make it to the end where everything gets tied together.

Despite what anyone else thinks, I’m definitely a part of this cult.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 38%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 45%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 4.9/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 5/5

Movie Trailer: