Friday, March 29, 2013

Victim (2010)

Number Rolled: 39
Movie Name/Year: Victim (2010)
Genre: Thriller
Length: 74 minutes
Rating: NR
Director: Matt Eskandari, Michael A. Pierce
Writer: Michael Hultquist, Robert Martinez
Actors: Stephen Weigand, Bob Bancroft, Brendan Kelly,

This anti-thriller starts with a shaky cam scene of a girl being raped and murdered. You only see the girl, not the guy abusing her. The scene cuts away with a transition that had me believing for a couple that I’d accidentally leaned on my remote. That’s when we meet the guy who we will never learn the name of. Five minutes later, said guy has been kidnapped and is being mentally and physically tortured by an old guy and a relative.

I tried. I swear I tried, just like I always try, to find something good in the movie; a single actor, a good setting, a catchy line, an unexpected twist. Nothing. I found nothing. I’m going to say it. This may very well be the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I’ve got nothing good to say about it.

The “big twist” at the end is apparent almost before the introductory credits have finished rolling. The actors make me think of my fifth grade play. No, sorry, I think the actors in my fifth grade play were better. Every single line was a cliché of the genre. There were characters so useless I don’t even remember their names. Aside from that the movie was creepy, not in an entertaining way, either. It wasn’t even the kind of bad that leads to laughter or even mild amusement.

You want to know the worst part? This wasn’t the first movie I rolled. The first movie I rolled was a British movie called “Devil’s Playground.” Unfortunately, the sound failed about ten minutes in and I had to roll again. For as little as I saw, I was already absorbed in that movie. I was robbed.

The only good thing about having watched this movie is that I can take it off my instant queue and never watch it again. I need to go bleach my brain now.

Overall Opinion – 0/5

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Video Game High School (2012)

Number Rolled: 64
Movie Name/Year: Video Game High School (2012)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 124 minutes
Rating: NR
Director: Matthew Arnold, Brandon Laatsch, Freddie Wong
Writer: Matthew Arnold, Will Campos, Brian Firenzi, Chris Pappavaselio, Elle Schneider, Sarah Tarkoff, Freddie Wong, Jimmy Wong
Actors: Josh Blaylock, Johanna Braddy, Jimmy Wong, Ellary Porterfield, Brian Firenzi, Joey Bertran, Zachary Levi, Harley Morenstein, Benji Dolly, Freddie Wong

In a world where football, baseball, basketball and soccer is replaced by FPS, Driving, Fighting and Rhythm gaming, VGHS is the place to be. Video Game High School, home of FPS god “The Law.” It’s where every kid wants to go and has the guy every kid wants to be. Brian D, FPS gamer, lucks into an invitation to the school and must find a way to survive against his rivalry with The Law and one hell of a bad luck streak.

As a gamer, I loved this movie. It had a kind of “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” mixed with “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising” feel to it. The acting was cheesy. Aside from that it was also a recipe movie; like making meatloaf with a recipe that calls for rattlesnake meat and marshmallows. It was a new take on an old idea.

For a serious movie, it was crap. If I were to judge the movie based on a strict set of values and put it up against the actual “Scott Pilgrim,” it would have gotten half of what I gave it. However, in sheer entertainment value, I would watch this movie so many times the DVD would get worn out. It’s possible that the reason I loved it so much was because I am a gamer. Not so much into FPS, but I’m pretty hard to beat at the driving games and I love my RPGs. None-the-less, I AM the target audience for this number, and I was targeted successfully.

For about four months or so, my best friend has been in my ear telling me to watch this. Every single time we sat down to watch a movie, he was hoping I’d roll it. What I didn’t know before watching it, was that this is actually an internet series. Nine episodes of gaming cheese by Rocket Jump Studios which can be found here: .

I haven’t explored the site yet, but I intend to once this review is all proof-read and posted. If you’re a gamer into genre-related movies, this is one you’ll want to see.

Overall Opinion – 4.5/5

Monday, March 25, 2013

Case 39 (2009)

Number Rolled: 1
Movie Name/Year: Case 39 (2009)
Genre: Horror
Length: 109 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Christian Alvart
Writer: Ray Wright
Actors: Renee Zellweger, Jodelle Ferland, Ian McShane, Bradley Cooper, Callum Keith Rennie, Adrian Lester, Kerry O’Malley, Cynthia Stevenson

There are horrible people in this world. People who have kids and then decide they don’t want to be parents. People who make the child believe that it’s their fault. Emily Jenkins is a social worker. Her job is to take on the cases of these kids; find a way to either mediate the family’s problems or take the child away and place him in a loving home. She’s got a full case-load at 38, but with the department backed up she’s forced to take on #39: the strange case of Lilith Sullivan.

I’ll tell you point blank that the critics and I do not agree on this one. Where do I start? Ok, the movie itself was a little slow-starting, but I was never bored. Yes, it took some time to get to the core storyline, but there were enough things happening to keep me invested until then, without confusing me.

I read a few reviews that accused this movie of being a recipe movie. I don’t really agree with that. In fact, I don’t agree with it at all. Was it ground-breaking or show-stopping? No. It might not have even been fully unique, but I don’t believe it was a recipe.

I’m a fan of Bradley Cooper and was happy with his performance, but there’s no surprise in that. Renee Zellweger, however, was a surprise. I’ve never seen her perform in a thriller/horror. It’s very possible that this kind of performance is par for the course in those kind of movies for her. However, from what I’ve read, the critics trashed her, and this is where my biggest disagreement lays. I thought she was fantastic in this.

Maybe they’re all seeing something I’m not. Is there some secret critics club where they decide just by reading a blurb what to think about movies? This movie and its cast were trashed by people I’m not convinced watched it. I’d easily watch this movie again.

Overall Opinion – 3.5/5