The Black Dahlia (2006)

Number Rolled: 26

Movie Name/Year: The Black Dahlia (2006)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 121 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Brian De Palma

Writer: Josh Friedman, James Ellroy

Actors: Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Mia Kirshner, Mike Starr, Fiona Shaw, Patrick Fischler, James Otis, John Kavanagh, Troy Evans, Anthony Russell, Pepe Serna, Rachel Miner, Rose McGowan, Richard Brake

First thing I have to note is that Netflix probably mostly got it right in their doling out of stars, I just happened to like it better than that. It’s got flaws. For one, the movie is two hours long. Quite frankly, if a director is making my ass sit for that long at one time the movie better put me into a hypnotic trance of awesomeness. Aside from that, it’s slow to begin. For maybe the first twenty minutes of the movie you’re staring at the screen wondering where that little blurb description Netflix gives came from. To be honest, the directors probably could have cut about a half hour of the movie easily enough without losing the story or the build-up.

I’m glad he didn’t.

Though the first twenty minutes mostly focus on stuff that doesn’t lend to the main story, I appreciated it. It gave me a history into the main character and his partner in the police force. Once the story really got rolling, the time no longer mattered. I enjoyed the way they did up the mystery and, quite frankly, I had no fucking clue who done it until they revealed the killer. There was a second murder I pretty much predicted, but that main storyline murderer? Not a clue. The last half hour of the movie saw me gasping quite a bit.

There was one thing I really didn’t like at all. Twice in the movie the shots move a different perspective. That means, suddenly, the camera is moving around like you are a part of the move as the main character. In my opinion, it’s unacceptable to change perspectives in the middle of a book, and it’s unacceptable to change them in the middle of a movie. That was just poor judgment. It was like I went from playing a video game where you can watch the character move around, and then it suddenly just snapped into first person.

Also, I could have done without Rose McGowan. It was a tiny bit part, but I think I might actually hate her as an actress. It’s like she plays the same exact part with the same exact mannerisms in everything she’s a part of. Either she’s BADLY type-cast or she’s got the range of a shoddy paper airplane. Either way, I really find I dislike her.

Overall Opinion – 4.5/5

Necrosis (2009)

Number Rolled: 85

Movie Name/Year: Necrosis (2009)

Genre: Horror

Length: 96 minutes

Rating: NR

Director: Jason Robert Stephens

Writer: Robert Michael Ryan, Jason Robert Stephens

Actors: James Kyson Lee, George Stults, Tiffany, Penny Drake, Danielle DeLuca, Robert Michael Ryan, Michael Berryman, Mickey Jones, Kymberly Jane, Grady Lee Richmond

That movie was ninety-six minutes of talking and people turning their heads dramatically while wearing strange contacts.

According to the description on Netflix, this is a movie about six friends who go into the mountains and are harassed and stalked by the Donner Party. Ok. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? In fact, I could really get behind a movie like that. That’s why I added it to my instant queue, after all!

The beginning of the movie told me it would be of B-quality. That’s fine. I like B-movies. They float my boat, so-to-speak. A scene from once upon a time when the Donner Party happened, wasn’t so bad. It gave me hope for the rest of the movie. Five minutes passed of relatively normal dialog, which was fine. Everyone likes a good realistic set-up. Then ten minutes had passed and it had been all talk. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty. By the time something happened? I forgot what I was watching.

I kind of enjoyed the ending, though I’d really describe it more as a psychological thriller than a horror, it did have some moments that made me jump. To be fair, there was also a fair amount of gore involved. When all is said and done, it’s not quite as bad as Netflix rated it, but it’s pretty close.

Overall Opinion – 2/5

Creature of Darkness (2009)

Number Rolled: 63

Movie Name/Year: Creature of Darkness (2009)

Genre: Horror

Length: 80 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Mark Stouffer

Writer: Mark Stouffer

Actors: Devon Sawa, Danoe Lake, Matthew Lawrence, Siena Goines, Dan White, Kevin Alejandro, Jennifer Howie, Ryan Judd, Fernanda Romero, Phil Van Tee, Matt Lattimore, Ingrid Graham

According to the reviews on Netflix, this movie sucked. I don’t know. I didn’t really think it was all that bad to be honest. I mean, it’s B-movie. A VERY B-movie. In fact, I only added it to my instant queue because my love for Devon Sawa as an actor knows no bounds. However, if you go into this story knowing that it is indeed a B-movie, it is actually pretty good.

As with all B-movies the CGI is horrible. At one point, Devon’s character is standing in front of something and even Devon himself doesn’t look real. That’s talent, having CGI so bad that it makes the real stuff look fake. On top of that, when you’re looking at the alien in a full body shot or when he’s trying to be incognito, he looks ridiculous and the camera does this thing occasionally that allows you to see things from the alien’s perspective. Not a bad idea on paper, but the way they did it was rough. Whenever they go into that perspective it’s very difficult to make out the scene you’re trying to watch. Luckily, those scenes don’t last very long.

That being said, the close ups of the alien are phenomenal for a movie like this. I did really enjoy the plot, which was about an alien deemed a “collector” that goes around collecting the various “types” of humans as if they were insects being collected by an entomologist. The script itself wasn’t bad either. The main character starts off as this frightened coward and evolves through the course of the movie. I like that, because, quite frankly, if I was on a camping trip and randomly ran into a toothy alien that wanted to collect and kill me, I’d shit myself.

The actors did well. Not just my childhood choice of heart throb, Devon Sawa, but all of them. I was shocked to see Matthew Lawrence because I hadn’t seen him in anything since Boy Meets World. Sanoe Lake I’d only ever seen in Blue Crush and I HATED her in that. In this movie I found myself liking her more.

Long story short, I’d recommend this movie to someone who enjoyed B-movies in general, but no one else.

One question. Why is it that every single movie I’ve ever seen about aliens on earth (except maybe ET, but it’s been a while since I’ve see that) has the line “welcome to Earth” in it? Usually following some sort of violence. Is this something we should be worried about?

Overall Opinion – 3/5