Bad Johnson (2014)

Number Rolled: 94

Movie Name/Year: Bad Johnson (2014)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 87 minutes

Rating: NR

Affiliated Companies: 2DS Productions, Roman Empire

Executive Producer: Huck Botko, David Fox, Paul Kim

Director: Huck Botko

Writer: Jeff Tetreault

Actors: Jamie Chung, Cam Gigandet, Nick Thune, Katherine Cunningham, Jessica Joy, Kevin Miller, Holly Houk, Katie Rich, Catherine Perzee, Gena Ellis

Rich is a complete dick, at least to the women he goes out with. He simply cannot keep his penis in his pants. After a particularly bad fuck-up, his penis detaches from his body and becomes a sentient being.

You have to hand it to Jeff Tetreault, the premise of the movie is definitely eye catching and mostly original. In fact, you might remember this movie from the Top 10 Movies to Look Out For in May 2014 that was published on this blog earlier this year.

I made a terrible error.

Remember how I said I thought there was the possibility that it would be a hell of a lot of dick and fart jokes? Yeah, there kind of was. Admittedly, there was a slightly deeper romantic story woven through it and there were a couple of thriller-like moments, but it wasn’t enough for me to honestly label this movie good.

I enjoyed the chemistry between Cam Gigandet (Easy A, Never Back Down, Reckless) and Katherine Cunningham (Mind Games, Jupiter Ascending, Two Days in February), but I think it had more to do with my personal enjoyment of the actors than the actual film.

The point is: I wanted to love this movie. Unfortunately, there really wasn’t enough substance for things to work out like that.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 31%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 23%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 3.9/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 2/5

The Random Rating: R

Movie Trailer: 

Authors Anonymous (2014)

Number Rolled: 30

Movie Name/Year: Authors Anonymous (2014)

Genre: Independent

Length: 92 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Affiliated Companies: Bull Market Entertainment, EKZ Productions, Lainie Productions

Executive Producer: Jonathan Bennett, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, Cynthia Guidry, Lainie Guidry

Director: Ellie Kanner

Writer: David Congalton

Actors: Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, Jonathan Bennett, Teri Polo, Tricia Helfer, Jonathan Banks, Chris Klein, Charlene Amoia, Dennis Farina, Dylan Walsh, Meagen Fay, Diane Robin, John Griffin, Daniel Riordan, Scott Ford, Robb Skyler

Five writers work together to offer criticism and support for each other’s work. When one of the less educated members gets a book deal, everyone gets a bit bent out of shape and things in this mockumentary begin to slide down hill.

I did not like this movie. About 10 minutes into it I got bored and it never got better.

I kept expecting sweethearts Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting (The Big Bang Theory, 8 Simple Rules, Charmed) or Chris Klein (American Pie, The United States of Leland, Wilfred) to bring Authors Anonymous into the adorable zone or acting veteran Dennis Farina (Law and Order, Saving Private Ryan, Snatch) to bring it to a new amusingly sardonic level. Unfortunately, it just didn’t happen that way.

I don’t blame the actors, I blame the script.

Authors Anonymous had the chance to be great. The concept was decent enough; the problem was the actualization of that concept. This was, however, David Congalton’s first, and only, writing credit, according to IMDB. If he manages to get his style polished, he may have some great stories to tell in the future.

None-the-less, it will always be easy to tell which script was his first.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 7%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 16%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.8/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 2/5

P.S. There are a couple of scenes during the credits.

Movie Trailer: