Alien vs. Ninja (2010)

Number Rolled: 1

Movie Name/Year: Alien vs. Ninja (2010)

Genre: Foreign Sci-Fi & Fantasy [ dubbed in English ]

Length: 81 minutes

Rating: TV-MA

Director: Seiji Chibi

Writer: Seiji Chiba

Actors: Mika Hijii, Ben Miura, Shuji Kashiwabara, Masanori Mimoto, Yuki Ogoe, Donpei Tsuchihira

This is the greatest bad movie I’ve ever seen. Do you like anime? Then you should definitely watch this. It was pretty much a live-action anime. It was overacted, completely ridiculous, and just about as hilarious as it gets. In fact, if this is based off an anime or if there is an anime based off of it, I want to know about it immediately, so that I can watch it.

The storyline was basically every alien storyline known to creation. Aliens invade. Aliens are violent. Aliens fight. Simple. But the fight scenes were, hands down, some of the most creative fight scenes I’ve EVER seen with minimal to no CGI. I was laughing from the moment the movie started until the moment it ended.

Of course, you can’t go into it expecting a blockbuster – and the English dubbing makes it look like the original Godzilla is some ways – but it’s still a damn good B action/horror/comedy flick. I’d definitely watch a second one if they make it, and I kind hope they do.

Overall Opinion – 4.5/5 (by B movie standards)

Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2006)

Number Rolled: 28

Movie Name/Year: Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2006)

Genre: Horror

Length: 58 minutes

Rating: NR

Director: Dario Argento

Writer: Steven Weber, Bruce Jones

Actors: Steven Weber, Carrie Anne Fleming

I’m normally a huge fan of the Masters of Horror series. You won’t be seeing TV series on this blog, but Masters of Horror is actually a series of movies directed by the greatest horror genre directors of our time. Jenifer, however, was a rare miss.

I was unimpressed. I knew the ending the moment it started but figured they would twist it up like they normally do. When they didn’t, I almost kind of felt betrayed. Rarely any of the questions you have from the beginning are answered and each “new” situation is completely predictable. I hear a lot of good things about Jenifer, and I really don’t know why. Quite frankly, it sucked.

Unless you’re looking for weird soft-core porn. If you are, then you’re in for a treat.

Overall Opinion – 2/5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Number Rolled: 18

Movie Name/Year: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 85 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Fran Rubel Kuzui

Writer: Joss Whedon

Actors: Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Luke Perry, Paul Reubens, Rutger Hauer, Hilary Swank, David Arquette, Natasha Gregson Wagner, Liz Smith, Thomas Jane, Stephen Root

Who hasn’t seen at least one episode of the Buffy the Vampire series? Maybe you didn’t like it. Maybe you did. But my bet? You’ve seen at least one episode. After watching Sarah Michelle Geller kick Vampire ass for seven seasons with David Boreanaz spinning off into Angel for five seasons, it’s easy to forget that the storyline saw its birth in this simple early 90’s movie. Back when Ben Affleck was un-credited and played lowly Basketball Player #10 and Seth Green was just some random extra vampire.

Remember that first episode of Buffy, when she moves to Sunnydale and the show talks of a mishap at her old school that got her expelled? Yeah. This movie shows you the start. The TRUE start of Buffy’s story. Forget the hell-mouth and enter in to a high school kid’s life. Wandering the mall with her empty-headed cheerleader friends and causing un-chaperoned mischief with her basketball team boyfriend. She’s not much different than most of the popular girls at that time. Suddenly her watcher shows up (Merrick, the one before Giles) and her life is flipped upside down. This is when she learns she is the Slayer.

I saw this movie long before the series came on air, and loved it. After having seen the entire series? I still love it. But the trick is to remember that THIS movie came FIRST. The series came from the movie and not vice-versa. Looking at the character, Buffy, from the final season, she’s drastically different from the Buffy you see in this movie. However, the Buffy from the first episode of the first season was similar. Try not to think of all the growth the character went through and remember that this was where is all began…

Overall Opinion – 4/5