"We're not critics. We're professional fan-girls." --- This blog is dedicated to movies and the entertainment industry. We use random selection to bring into light the best and worst of streaming films and entertainment news.
20 – Someone Like
You (4/2) Director: Tyler
Russell Writer: Karen
Kingsbury, Tyler Russell Actors: Sarah
Fisher, Jake Allyn, Lynn Collins, Robyn Lively, Bart Johnson Genre: Romance Rated: PG Length: 1h 58min IMDb Blurb: Based on the novel by #1 NYTimes bestselling author
Karen Kingsbury, "Someone Like You" is an achingly beautiful love
story. After the tragic loss of his best friend, a grieving young architect
launches a search for her secret twin sister. Romantic dramas aren’t usually what draw me. I prefer my
romance with some comedy or action – even a bit of horror (dark fantasy readers
know what I’m talking about). That said, the story utilized in Someone Like
You does feel devastating and intriguing. It almost feels more like a drama
with a hint of romance. Yes, there is a difference. At least, to me. My issue with Someone Like You, the reason I can’t
put it any higher than #20, is the one trope they look to be leaning toward
that I just cannot get behind. I hate romance stories that replace the original love
interest with someone who looks like them. There’s always a bit of disbelief suspension with any film,
but I simply cannot suspend enough disbelief to get behind the idea that true
love is that easily replaceable. There’s a large part of me that’s a hopeless romantic. Someone’s
face has never been the reason I’ve fallen in love with them. It may be
something about them I love, but it’s not the reason behind the emotion. Love
simply isn’t that superficial or shallow. When you love someone it’s about the parts of them that speak
directly to your soul (or heart, depending on how spiritual you are). You love
them because they are your safe space, your home. They both light you on fire
and calm you in a way that no one else can. When they upset you, they fix it,
because they hate to see you upset. They make sure you know your triggers don’t
define you, and you seek to do the same. They keep you together, or help you
find the pieces of yourself that have gone missing over the years – then give
you the strength to start putting it all back where it belongs. They make you
want to do the same for them. You want to be their safe space, their home. You
want to make them feel more like themselves, to calm them and still set them
ablaze. A good love story can show all of that. Regardless of what
the characters look like or what they’ve been through. Their traumas or their
past. A good love story looks deeper and speaks to that part of people that
understand the connection that occurs when they need someone else – someone
specific. I don’t use the term ‘need’ here lightly, either. It’s a need more
than a want. Humans need connections, and the various forms of love are the
greatest of those connections. It guides someone to their people. The people
that make them feel whole. Someone completely different who shares the same face does
not fulfill those requirements, and I will never be able to suspend enough
disbelief to believe they could. Now, there’s always the possibility that they’ll go for a
more realistic ending. Where the main character learns all that and he and the
secret twin wind up as friends, but I’m concerned they’re going to try and make
me buy the replacement trope, and I simply can’t. 19 – Model House
(4/5) Director: Derek
Pike Writer: Derek
Pike Actors: Scout
Taylor-Compton, Kyra Santoro, Lexi Atkins, Hailee Keanna Lautenbach, Priscilla
Huggins Ortiz, Cory Anne Roberts Genre: Thriller Rated: Unrated Length: 1h 25min IMDb Blurb: Models staying in a secluded house for the night
are terrorized by intruders. On the one hand, Model House looks like it could be
one of those campy, ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ flicks. Models trapped in a terrifying
situation and acting in this cringy, somewhat gross, way? That lends itself to
a good thriller/comedy. In that case, it would have been higher on my list. The problem is, once the thrills start the humor seems to
stop. That makes me worry that Model House could wind up taking itself
way too seriously. The concept lends itself more toward the comedy co-genre,
which means that seriousness could wind up being a flaw. Of course, we’ve seen
trailers mislead us before. I’m hoping this trailer was poorly made. Time will tell. 18 – Don’t Tell
Mom the Babysitter’s Dead (4/12) Director: Wade
Allain-Marcus Writer: Chuck
Hayward, Tara Ison, Neil Landau Actors: Jermaine
Fowler, June Squibb, Iantha Richardson, Tyriq Withers, Nicole Richie, Miles
Fowler, Gus Kenworthy, Simone Joy Jones, Donielle T. Hansley Jr., Patricia
Williams, Ayaamii Sledge, Carter Young, Lizet Upia Genre: Comedy Rated: R Length: 1h 39min IMDb Blurb: Tanya finds her summer plans canceled when her mom
jets off for a last-minute retreat and the elderly babysitter who arrives at
her door unexpectedly passes away. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead (1991) was a
staple of my childhood. I think it was for most women my age. I haven’t seen it
in a while, so I don’t know if it holds up, but I remember it with great
fondness. Naturally, I was curious when I heard about this new version. This new version looks cute. It’s a bit wilder and it’s
definitely updated, but it seems to be very much in the spirit of the 1991
version. On a different month, it likely would have been much higher on my
list. It is still a remake, and there are much better flicks
coming out in April. 17 – Civil War
(4/12) Director: Alex
Garland Writer: Alex
Garland Actors: Nick
Offerman, Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Jefferson White, Nelson lee, Evan Lai,
Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson Genre: Action Rated: R Length: 1h 49min IMDb Blurb: A journey across a dystopian future America,
following a team of military-embedded journalists as they race against time to
reach DC before rebel factions descend upon the White House. Not even a quarter of the way into the trailer for Civil
War you can tell it’s going to be divisive. If nothing else, it reminds me
of the in-your-fact political nature of the marketing behind The Hunt (2020).
It seems to be straight-up pitting left and right against each other. Where it
differs is that The Hunt did it in a much more ridiculous way. Civil
War seems to be concentrating on that divide and exaggerating it to a
natural conclusion. Which is terrifying. That innate terror is what makes me think Civil War can
work. It brings the dystopian nature of this kind of story into the real world.
It won’t be for everyone, but I’m looking forward to it. 16 – The Moon and
Back (4/23) Director: Leah
Bleich Writer: Leah
Bleich Actors: Isabel
May, Missi Pyle, Nat Faxon, P.J. Byrne, Miles Gutierrez-Riley, Molly Jackson,
Riley Madison Fuller Genre: Comedy Rated: PG-13 Length: 1h 14min IMDb Blurb: A year after her father's death, Lydia Gilbert
feels completely lost - until she discovers something unexpected: a space opera
script in need of a blockbuster budget, written by her father. Although this film does look adorable and heartwarming, I must
acknowledge that my interest in it has more to do with my personal journey than
the quality of the trailer. My biological father was a twat, but my mentor had my back
from the moment I met him until the day he died. He gave me every opportunity
he was allowed to (and some he could have gotten in trouble for). Yet, I wound
up going into a different field than the one he trained me for. It’s been a
source of guilt for me for a long time, even though he always fully supported
it. The way I’ve opted to honor him is through my writing. I’ve
taken on the project of telling the story of him and his wife. You learn a lot
about a person when you opt to take up a creative project in their name, and
I’d love to see how the main character in The Moon and Back comes to
know her father through his screenwriting. I think it’s going to be a story
that’s worth seeing. 15 – The First
Omen (4/5) Director: Arkasha
Stevenson Writer: Arkasha
Stevenson, Keith Thomas, David Seltzer, Ben Jacoby, Tim Smith Actors: Nell
Tiger Free, Ralph Ineson, Sonia Braga, Tawfeek Barhom, Maria Caballero, Charles
Dance Genre: Horror Rated: R Length: 2h IMDb Blurb: A young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a
life of service to the church, but encounters a darkness that causes her to
question her faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring
about the birth of evil incarnate. The First Omen is a prequel to the 1976 version. As a
fan of most of the Omen films, I’m here for it. You can see plenty of references to the original in the
trailer, to the point where it even speaks to people who might not necessarily
love horror films. I had a friend watch the trailer to give me some extra
perspective and he’s not generally a fan of horror films. He even said he would
watch it. The only reason it’s this low on my list is because there’s
more creative films coming out, things I think are going to be much better. On
other months that might be a bit of an insult, but this month is going to be
crazy. 14 – The Absence
of Eden (4/12) Director: Marco
Perego Writer: Marco
Perego, Rick Rapoza Actors: Zoe
Saldana, Adria Arjona, Garrett Hedlund, Tom Waits, Chris Coy, Sarah Minnich Genre: Drama Rated: R Length: 1h 37min IMDb Blurb: An ICE Agent struggling with the moral dilemmas of
border security and an undocumented woman fighting to escape a ruthless cartel
cross paths and work together to save the life of an innocent girl. Is there anything that Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Guardians of
the Galaxy, Colombiana) can’t do? There’s a reason she’s in two of the
highest grossing films of all time. A heavy drama like The Absence of Eden
gives her a chance to stretch her acting chops to the limit and really sell the
horrifying tale. The plot of The Absence of Eden is going to be
divisive at best. I recommend leaving all politics at home when going to see
it. Otherwise, there might be some difficulty really absorbing what’s happening
throughout. 13 – Villains
Inc. (4/19) Director: Jeremy
Warner Writer: Jason
Gray, Matt Moen, Jeremy Warner Actors: Mallory
Everton, Colin Mochrie, Jason Gray, Billy Mann, Jeff Bryan Davis Genre: Comedy Rated: PG-13 Length: 1h 42min IMDb Blurb: After the death of their boss, Beatrix, Cain and
Harold are left destitute living in an abandoned grocery store. Beatrix is
determined that they will fight on their own and take over the world by any
means necessary. Villains Inc. looks hilarious. It seems to have been
inspired by the Despicable Me (2010) series. At some points in the
trailer the henchmen are even wearing yellow suits that feel very minion-y to
me. I’m not surprised that it succeeded on Kickstarter – though maybe a bit
surprised at how well it did. Of its $15k goal, it made over $107k. I’m not saying it’s because of Colin Mochrie’s (Who’s
Line is it Anyway?, Murdoch Mysteries, This Hour Has 22 Minutes)
involvement, but I am saying that would have gotten me to invest if I’d known
about it before now. I’d say they didn’t need my help, though, since they
raised over 700% of what they needed. 12 – Scoop (4/5) Director: Philip
Martin Writer: Geoff
Bussetil, Peter Moffat Actors: Gillian
Anderson, Rufus Sewell, Billie Piper, Keeley Hawes, Romola Garai, Aoife Hinds Genre: Biography,
Drama Rated: TV-14 Length: 1h 42min IMDb Blurb: How the BBC obtained the bombshell interview with
Prince Andrew about his friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Who doesn’t remember this interview during the Epstein
scandal? The fact that an interview even made it through that royal wall was
news on its own. A movie about how that occurred is a brilliant idea. Though I doubt the royals will love it. That said, there’s a decent cast involved. As a Doctor
Who (2005-) fan, the one I’m really interested in is Billie Piper (Secret
Diary of a Call Girl, I Hate Suzie, Mansfield Park). She’s been in plenty
since her role as Rose Tyler, but nothing that I’ve gotten to see. I can’t wait
to see what she does with her role here. 11 – Rebel Moon
Part 2: The Scargiver (4/19) Director: Zack
Snyder Writer: Shay
Hatten, Kurt Johnstad, Zack Snyder Actors: Ed
Skrein, Sofia Boutella, Charlie Hunnam, Jena Malone, Anthony Hopkins, Cary
Elwes, Djimon Hounsou, Michiel Huisman Genre: Action,
Adventure, Drama Rated: PG-13 Length: 2h 2min IMDb Blurb: Kora and surviving warriors prepare to defend
Veldt, their new home, alongside its people against the Realm. The warriors
face their pasts, revealing their motivations before the Realm's forces arrive
to crush the growing rebellion. The trailer for both Rebel Moon movies looks great,
but I must admit that I haven’t seen the first one yet. I want to say I have
utmost faith in it, especially with Zack Snyder (Army of the Dead, Sucker
Punch, Justice League) at the helm, but I can’t ignore the low scores from
both critics and audiences for the first Rebel Moon. As a result, I put
it a little lower on my list – until I can see the first one and decide for
myself.
10 – The Beast
(4/5) Director: Bertrand
Bonello Writer: Bertrand
Bonello, Guillaume Bréaud, Benjamin Charbit, Henry James Actors: Léa Seydoux,
George MacKay, Guslagie Malanda, Dasha Nekrasova, Martin Scali Genre: Drama,
Romance, Sci-Fi Rated: Unrated Length: 2h 26min IMDb Blurb: The plot is set partly in a near future in which
artificial intelligence is in control of everyone's lives and human emotions
are perceived as a threat. I cannot sing the praises of George MacKay (1917, How I
Live Now, True History of the Kelly Gang) enough. On any given month, if
there’s a hint of MacKay in any films, I’m there. Ready and waiting. He’s
simply one of those actors that can do no wrong, from my perspective. He’s got
something about him that molds well into whatever part he takes. The story itself is an interesting one, with a dash of
dystopia – which I am always a fan of. 9 – Sting (4/12) Director: Kiah
Roache-Turner Writer: Kiah
Roache-Turner Actors: Jermaine
Fowler, Alyla Browne, Ryan Corr, Penelope Mitchell, Silvia Colloca, Noni
Hazlehurst Genre: Horror,
Thriller Rated: R Length: 1h 31min IMDb Blurb: After raising an unnervingly talented spider in
secret, 12-year-old Charlotte must face the facts about her pet-and fight for
her family's survival-when the once-charming creature rapidly transforms into a
giant, flesh-eating monster. Sting has a supernatural Arachnophobia (1990)
feel to it. I was a huge fan of that movie when I was younger. It may have even
been my first toe dipped into horror. So, the feeling makes me a little
nostalgic. I imagine the flick will have an edge of terror, but the
trailer makes me think there’ll be the smallest amount of comedy as well –
which is how I like this kind of film. Not to mention that Kiah Roache-Turner (Nekrotronic,
Roadrunner, Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead) is a unique director. I happen to
like his stuff, but whatever you feel about him, you can’t deny that he’s
original. Whatever Sting winds up being, I imagine it’ll be an
interesting watch. 8 – Breathe
(4/26) Director: Stefon
Bristol Writer: Doug
Simon Actors: Milla
Jovovich, Sam Worthington, Common, Quvenzhané Wallis, Jennifer Hudson Genre: Action,
Thriller Rated: PG-13 Length: Unknown IMDb Blurb: An East Flatbush mother and daughter, barely
surviving in an oxygen-less world, must band together to protect each other
when intruders arrive claiming to know their missing father. A Brooklyn dystopia with a phenomenal cast, Breathe is
right up my alley. It looks intense. Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element, Resident Evil,
Withotwithout), Sam Worthington (Avatar, Lift, Lansky), Common (John
Wick: Chapter 2, Wanted, Silo), Quvenzhané Wallis (Swagger, Black-ish,
Trolls), and Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls, The Secret Life of Bees,
Respect) are all fantastic choices. Some just for a dystopian story, others
in general. I’m also interested in seeing what director Stefon Bristol (Payroll,
The Bodega, Brutus) can do with something like this. I rather enjoyed the
last movie I saw of his, See You Yesterday (2019). It wasn’t a perfect
film by any stretch of the imagination, but I remember it well. 7 – Monkey Man
(4/5) Director: Dev
Patel Writer: Dev
Patel, Paul Angunawela, John Collee Actors: Dev
Patel, Sharlto Copley, Pitobash, Vipin Sharma, Sikandar Kher, Adithi Kalkunte Genre: Action,
Thriller Rated: R Length: 2h 1min IMDb Blurb: An anonymous young man unleashes a campaign of
vengeance against the corrupt leaders who murdered his mother and continue to
systemically victimize the poor and powerless. Monkey Man has a definite John Wick (2014)
feel to it. There’s revenge and extreme action, but there’s also a few moments
where some comedy shines through. Not a lot, I doubt there’s a full comedic
undertone of any kind, but a bit of relief here and there doesn’t suck. This is Dev Patel’s (The Green Night, Lion, Slumdog
Millionaire) first full-length feature film as director, and I’m looking
forward to seeing what he can do with it. He’s a fantastic actor with an
enviable filmography. I’m interested in how that translates to his direction. 6 – Humane (4/26) Director: Caitlin
Cronenberg Writer: Michael
Sparaga Actors: Jay
Baruchel, Emily Hampshire, Peter Gallagher, Enrico Colantoni, Sebastian Chacon,
Alanna Bale, Sirena Gulamgaus, Uni Park Genre: Horror,
Thriller Rated: R Length: 1h 33min IMDb Blurb: In the wake of an environmental collapse that is
forcing humanity to shed 20% of its population, a family dinner erupts into
chaos when a father's plan to enlist in the government's new euthanasia program
goes horribly awry. Dystopian films are out of control this month and I’m loving
it. The way these writers twist and shaping a possible future for our world is
so intriguing. I always lean toward these kinds of stories. In this case,
there’s a Purge quality to it, but there’s a little something extra that
makes it more unique. In this case, there’s the inclusion of Jay Baruchel (Goon,
This is the End, BlackBerry) – whom I adore – and Caitlin Cronenberg (The
Death of David Cronenberg, The Endings). Caitlin is the daughter of David
Cronenberg (Crimes of the Future, eXistenZ, A History of Violence) and
this is her full-length feature film debut as director. I’m anxious to see how
she does. 5 – Abigail
(4/19) Director: Matt
Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett Writer: Guy
Busick, Stephen Shields Actors: Giancarlo
Esposito, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Matthew Goode, Kevin Durand, Melissa
Barrera, Angus Cloud, Alisha Weir, William Catlett Genre: Horror,
Thriller Rated: R Length: 1h 30min IMDb Blurb: After a group of criminals kidnap the ballerina
daughter of a powerful underworld figure, they retreat to an isolated mansion,
unaware that they're locked inside with no normal little girl. The trailer for Abigail is fascinating. Almost
heist-like in one way. Not unlike Saw II in another. And yet there’s
also this vampiric storyline interwoven through it all. I would have preferred if the vampire plot was saved for the
flick. I think that would have been a HELL of a twist. Still, I’m looking
forward to seeing what happens. 3 – Baby
Assassins 2 (4/12) Director: Yugo
Sakamoto Writer: Yugo
Sakamoto Actors: Akari
Takaishi, Saori Izawa Genre: Action,
Comedy, Crime Rated: Unrated Length: 1h 41min IMDb Blurb: Chisato and Mahiro were banned from performing
tasks because they violated the organization's rules. Needing money to make
ends meet, they resumed their days as part-time workers. Suddenly two other
assassins are after them. Although I haven’t seen the first Baby Assassins (2021),
I cannot ignore that glorious 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Sure, there are plenty of movies I’ve hated that have had
high critic scores on RT, but this one also has an audience score that’s nearly
as high. Combine that with the kick-ass quality of the trailer for Baby
Assassins 2 and it’s a no brainer. 3 – Irena's Vow
(4/15) Director: Louise
Archambault Writer: Dan
Gordon Actors: Sophie
Nélisse, Dougray Scott, Andrzej Scott, Maciej Nawrocki, Sharon Azrieli,
Aleksandar Milicevic Genre: Drama Rated: R Length: 2h 1min IMDb Blurb: Follows the life of a Polish nurse Irene Gut Opdyke
who was awarded the Righteous Among the Nations medal for showing remarkable
courage in her attempt to save Polish Jews during World War II. With all the World War II stories out there, this is one I
haven’t yet seen told. It’s possible that it’s out there, but I personally
haven’t been exposed to it. I have always found it important to learn from our
past, and that mean being exposed to it. “Based on a true story” is a line that isn’t regulated. It
means that there are true aspects, but not necessarily a full truth involved.
It’s important to keep that in mind. 2 – Boy Kills
World (4/26) Director: Moritz
Mohr Writer: Tyler
Burton Smith, Arend Remmers, Moritz Mohr Actors: Bill
Skarsgård, Famke Janssen, Jessica Rothe, Michelle Dockery, Brett Gelman, Isaiah
Mustafa Genre: Action,
Thriller Rated: R Length: 1h 55min IMDb Blurb: A dystopian fever dream action film that follows
Boy, a deaf person with a vibrant imagination. When his family is murdered, he
is trained by a mysterious shaman to repress his childish imagination and
become an instrument of death. I audibly yelled, “BOB” when I first watched this trailer.
I’m a big fan of all things Bob’s Burgers (2011-) and Archer (2009-2023).
When I heard the narrator’s oh-so-recognizable voice, I was already hooked.
Then there was that action-heavy visual with ridiculous narration and I was
beyond in. Boy Kills World is going to be hilarious and
heart-pounding. The perfect turn-your-brain-off flick. 1 – The Ministry
of Ungentlemanly Warfare (4/19) Director: Guy
Ritchie Writer: Guy
Ritchie, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Arash Amel, Damien Lewis Actors: Henry
Cavill, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Eiza González, Babs Olusanmokun, Cary
Elwes, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Henry Golding, Til Schweiger Genre: Drama, War Rated: Unrated Length: 2h IMDb Blurb: The British military recruits a small group of
highly skilled soldiers to strike against German forces behind enemy lines
during World War II. Do I want to see Superman killing Nazis? That’s not even a
hard question. Ok, so it’s not really Superman… but we all know that Henry
Cavill (The Witcher, Immortals, The Tudors) was THE choice for that part
and always will be, at least a little bit, Kal El. If he wasn’t such a terrific
actor, the part might not have stuck so tightly to him, but here we are. And
now I get to see Superman kill Nazis. I feel like that’s a good day. In fact, the majority of the cast does outstanding work.
Alan Ritchson (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Fast X, The Hunger Games:
Catching Fire), Alex Pettyfer (Magic Mike, In Time, Back Roads), Eiza
González (Baby Driver, I Care A Lot, Godzilla vs. Kong), Babs
Olusanmokun (Dune, Black Mirror, Roots), and Henry Golding (Crazy
Rich Asians, The Gentlemen, Last Christmas) are all solid actors. Cary
Elwes’ (Saw, The Princess Bride, BlackBerry) has that cult following –
of which I’m 100% a part of. Finally, Mr. Til Schweiger (Inglourious
Basterds, Atomic Blonde, Charlie Countryman). He’s not in a lot of flicks
that I’ve seen in recent years, but he’s a big part of my favorite film of all
time: SLC Punk! (1998) He’s got a hell of a filmography, he’s just not
in much that I’ve seen, personally. His part in SLC Punk, however, is
extremely memorable. Then there’s Guy Ritchie (The Gentlemen, Wrath of Man,
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.). One of my favorite movie writers. Very few people
do banter as well as he does, and I LOVE good banter in a film. My friends and
I still quote Snatch (2000) at the most random moments. As a director
he’s also fantastic, but his dialogue is rarely beaten. The banter in The
Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is going to be fun.
