Thursday, February 18, 2016

Zombeavers (2014)

Number Rolled: 28
Movie Name/Year: Zombeavers (2014)
Tagline: You’ll all be dammed!
Genre: B-Horror Comedy
Length: 77 minutes
Rating: R
Production Companies: Armory Films, BenderSpink, Canal+
Producer: Evan Astrowsky, Chris Bender, Corey Large, Christopher Lemole, J.B. Miller, Theordore Miller, Alan Pao, William Rosenfeld, Joel Sadilek, J.C. Spink, Jake Weiner, Tim Zajaros
Director: Jordan Rubin
Writer: Al Kaplan, Jordan Rubin, Jon Kaplan
Actors: Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Peter Gilroy, Rex Linn, Brent Briscoe, Phyllis Katz, Robert R. Shafer, Bill Burr, John Mayer, Jordan Rubin, Sonny Tanning, Fred Tatasciore, Chad Anderson

Blurb from Netflix: A group of randy college kids partying in a woodland cabin gets a nasty surprise when a horde of ferocious zombie beavers attacks.

Selina’s Point of View:
I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie since I first saw the trailer for it.

Sure, I really didn’t expect anything over-the-top amazing, but a funny little B-horror movie is right in my wheel-house. Give me some animatronics, over-the-top acting and a ridiculously insane script. That’s all I need.

Zombeavers wasn’t bad for a B-movie. It definitely toyed with that “so bad, it’s good” line… but it never really stepped over it into something memorable. To be honest, I don’t think it went far enough at times.

If a movie is going to take a recipe and poke fun at it, there are ways it can go super hard without actually becoming a parody. Cabin in the Woods (2012) is a good example of what I’m talking about, but it had a bigger budget than this film. So, I’m just going to have to go with the original bad-ass B-movie example: Evil Dead (1981).

However, when it comes down to it, the movie might not have been very good, but it was fun to watch.

I’d spent the day with some friends and then we all sat down to watch Zombeavers together. I believe that having buddies to watch the movie with heightened the experience, because we could make fun of it together.

It’s not the kind of film you should watch if you’re looking for something funny to raise your mood, but if you’re already enjoying the day and feeling good, it’ll offer a few laughs.

Cat’s Point of View:
As some of you may know, Selina and I are big fans of “so bad, it’s good” B-movies. We’ve been looking forward to this movie for a long time, in the hopes that it would fall into that category.

Unquestionably, we knew from the outset that it was going to be bad, but would it be rad?

I don’t think that Zombeavers quite hit the level of awesome that movies like Sharknado (2013) have reached, but it did a decent job. I was thoroughly entertained.

The effects for the beavers were rather rudimentary. I didn’t expect anything fancy for a film like this – just….something different, or slightly more sophisticated. They were still decent for a low budget flick. (I’ve seen worse.) If anyone’s looking to put gnarly animatronics on a spooky amusement park log ride from hell – hit up this effects team.

Sure it was campy and over the top in some places, but I found I didn’t mind. (That was the point, right??)

I thought Cortney Palm’s (Lost Soul, Silent Night, The Purge: Anarchy) twangy accent was awesome. I don’t think it would be the same movie, or quite as funny, without her character’s snark.

Out of the rest of the cast, I think everyone did a great job playing up to their cliché niches. Considering the absolute ludicrous appearance of their adversaries, I wonder how many takes some of these scenes took.

Here’s a fun bit of trivia for you! This movie was John Mayer’s (Clarity, Great Job!, Get Hard) feature film acting debut. I didn’t even realize it was him until I saw his name in the credits and had to go back and look again.

Obviously, this movie isn’t for anyone looking for a serious horror feature – but if you just want to have fun with a little raunchy humor and funky creatures, I’d say this movie wouldn’t let you down.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 68%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 32%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 2.5/5
Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score2.5/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 2.5/5
Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score3/5

P.S. Bloopers just as the credits start and an extra scene, possibly leading to a sequel, after the credits.

Movie Trailer:

Monday, February 15, 2016

36 Saints (2013)

Number Rolled: 6
Movie Name/Year: 36 Saints (2013)
Tagline: Are you one of them?
Genre: Thriller
Length: 81 minutes
Rating: R
Production Companies: Active Fox Productions
Producer: Peter Bobrow, Jeffrey De Serrano, Joey Dedio, Franky G, Frances Lozada, Richard Pleban, Mareo Ryan
Director: Eddy Duran
Writer: Jeffrey De Serrano, Joey Dedio
Actors: Franky G, Jeffrey De Serrano, Donna McKechnie, Jaime Tirelli, Britne Oldford, Tyrone Brown, Matthew Daddario, Aja Naomi King, Chris Riggi, Alesandra Assante, Allan Louis, Laverne Cox, Raul Casso, Mihaela Kolich, Joey Dedio

Blurb from Netflix: When unconnected people begin turning up murdered in Manhattan, police discover a horrifying truth about the killer’s motives.

Selina’s Point of View:
You know what? No. Just no.

This movie was awful. Everything about was just terrible. The story, the acting, the script, the setting, the continuity, the costumes… it was all ridiculous. The movie even managed to score Laverne Cox (Orange is the New Black, Grand Street, Grandma), which should have elevated the film to new heights… but the creators didn’t utilize her correctly. Cox might have single-handedly been able to put some good into this film if she’d been given a better part. Instead, her presence made it even more clear how terrible everyone else was.

Don’t waste your time. I’m certainly not wasting a second more on this film.

Cat’s Point of View:
I looked up 36 Saints to see whether or not it was something I could watch with or around my daughter. described this movie as “Se7en (1995) meets The Da Vinci Code (2006)...”

I wish I hadn’t seen that; because it set up an expectation for this film that it just utterly failed to deliver on.

I was so bored. The whole thing was stilted, slow, and poorly acted. Needless to say, I didn’t like it.

The concept that was promised was actually quite interesting. I think so much more could have been done with the story.

Unfortunately, it just felt like some jumpy game of connect the dots rather than cohesive storytelling. There wasn’t anything to draw me in. I couldn’t inhabit that world, and the disconnect was just too great to overcome.

I saw some familiar faces in this film, but I feel it would do them more injustice to mention them. They’ve moved on with their careers to more successful things.

This is one I’d recommend only as a candidate for Netflix to drop in their next purge.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 17%

Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 1.5/5
Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score1/5

Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 1/5
Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score1/5

P.S. Some added information during the credits, not a scene… just information.

P.S.2. Trust-the-Dice has contacted IMDB in the hopes that they will remove the misleading sentence comparing 36 Saints to Se7en (1995) and The Davinci Code (2006).

Movie Trailer: