Friday, September 21, 2012

Mortal Kombat: The Movie (1995)

Number Rolled: 58
Movie Name/Year: Mortal Kombat: The Movie (1995)
Genre: Action & Adventure
Length: 101 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Director: Paul Anderson
Writer: Ed Boon, John Tobias, Kevin Droney
Actors: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa

Ok, so I actually saw this movie in the theaters when it came out. I’m not going to judge it by that though, because I saw it before I was a gamer or even comfortable in my nerdality. So to me it was just a movie with play-dough looking blood. Of course I disliked it… and of course the critics disliked it. If even one of those critics who trashed the movie back then had actually PLAYED the game it was based off of, I think things would have been different.

Thinking back, this movie was the first movie based off of a video game (in the US) that even attempted not to suck. What came first? Super Mario Brothers (which I admit I’ve never seen…. It’s on the queue… I was a sonic girl), Double Dragon which I’m not even going to discuss, Street Fighter, which made most people who saw it twitch and then Mortal Kombat.

The point of the matter is, the director of this movie tried to stick to cannon without making it just one fight after another – which is difficult, considering it’s a fighting game. The acting wasn’t terrible and though the graphics don’t stand up to the worst of our movies today, back then it wasn’t bad. Say what you will, but Mortal Kombat paved the way for the video game movies we have today; like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. (Let’s just pretend Bloodrayne doesn’t exist, k?)

I have a few gripes, but any fan of the games would. Also, for some reason, I can’t seem to keep Linden Ashby in my head as Johnny Cage. I keep turning him into Jean-Claude Van Damme. It’s not his fault – he did a fine job – but I just keep doing it. It’s weird.

Overall Opinion – 3/5

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Hudson Hawk (1991)

Number Rolled: 57
Movie Name/Year: Hudson Hawk (1991)
Genre: Action Comedy
Length: 99 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Michael Lehmann
Writer: Bruce Willis, Robert Kraft, Steven E. deSouza, Daniel Waters
Actors: Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie MacDowell, James Coburn, Richard E. Grant, Sandra Burnhard, Don Harvey, David Caruso, Andrew Bryniarski, Lorraine Toussaint, Frank Stallone

Hudson Hawk is about a talented thief who would like nothing more than to go legit after getting out of prison and instead winds up pulled into this incredibly elaborate job. I’m not a fan of Bruce Willis the person, but as an actor it’s very hard not to like him. He’s one hell of a talented asshole. Sandra Burnhard’s acting I’ve always been kind of irked by. I don’t really know why, but I know I don’t usually pick up a movie and go “omg, Sandra Burnhard is in it. I have to see it,” instead I usually wind up “meh”ing and putting it back where I found it. That being said, this movie was hilarious.

If you’re looking for realism, do me a favor. Look at the top right corner of your computer screen. See that X there? Click it. This movie is not for those of you annoyed by historical or scientific inaccuracies. If you’re in it for some giggles though, add this to your instant queue immediately. The fight scenes were amusingly ridiculous, the script/plot was unexpected and (my personal favorite) just about every time someone was about to utter a corny line they were punched in the face.

One more song in the movie might have had it counting as a musical as well. Familiar songs relatively easy to sing along to (if you’re into the old stuff anyway).

Overall Opinion – 4/5

Monday, September 17, 2012

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Number Rolled: 53
Movie Name/Year: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 104 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Director: Mel Brooks
Writer: J.D. Shapiro, Evan Chandler, Mel Brooks
Actors: Cary Elwes, Richard Lewis, Roger Rees, Amy Yasbeck, Mark Blankfield, Dave Chappelle, Isaac Hayes, Megan Cavanagh, Eric Allan Kramer, Matt Porretta, Tracey Ullman, Patrick Stewart, Dom DeLuise, Dick Van Patten, Robert Ridgely

I love Cary Elwes. I also love a good take on Robin Hood – even if it’s just a spoof. I love the general idea of Robin Hood. Add a little comedy and I’m sooooo in. This is another one of those movies I’m not seeing for the first time. I used to watch this movie more often than I actually slept through the night when I was younger.

It is absolutely hilarious. Mel Brooks is a genius. ‘Nuff said.

Overall Opinion – 5/5