Studio Ghibli Fest: Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

 

Movie Name/Year: Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Romance, Animation

Length:  1h 59min

Rating: PG

Director: Hayao Miyazaki

Writers: Hayao Miyazaki, Diana Wynne Jones

Actors: 

• Japanese Language Cast: Chieko Baishô, Takuya Kimura, Akihiro Miwa, Tatsuya Gashûin, Ryunosuke Kamiki, Mitsunori Isaki, Yô Ôizumi, Akio Ôtsuka, Daijirô Harada, Haruko Katô, Yayoi Kazuki
• English Language Cast: Jean Simmons, Christian Bale, Lauren Bacall, Blythe Danner, Emily Mortimer, Josh Hutcherson, Billy Crystal, Jena Malone, Crispin Freeman, Mark Silverman

 

IMDb Blurb: When an unconfident young woman is cursed with an old body by a spiteful witch, her only chance of breaking the spell lies with a self-indulgent yet insecure young wizard and his companions in his legged, walking castle.

 

 

Cat’s Point of View:

I have recently had Studio Ghibli heavily on my mind - in a good way. My daughter and I have been watching several of the beloved animated movies recently, and my Ghibli Fest attendance only fueled that fire. While I haven’t yet seen the film that is immediately up next in August 2023’s festival lineup, I am intimately familiar with September’s showcase film: Howl’s Moving Castle. 

Howl’s Moving Castle is everything you’d want an adventure and fantasy animation to be. There are witches and curses, wild transformations, epic conflicts that require resolution through unconventional means, epic journeys of personal growth, a rich landscape, and even a splash of romance. 

 

When I say romance, I’m referring to the concept in it’s pure form and absolutely suitable for most ages. As I mentioned in my last Ghibli Fest article, Hayao Miyazaki’s (Castle in the Sky, Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro) work focuses on developing the overall story; and while love and romance might be cornerstones of quite a few of the films it never goes to the graphic lengths that most mainstream cinema takes things these days. 

When considering watchability for the very young, I’d just have to encourage parents to review the material or watch the movie at home before taking the kids to a theater to determine if they feel the content is suitable. There are some slightly grotesque shape-changes and a few scenes that might be scary to the very young - but that’s also very relative and subjective regarding the individual child. There’s nothing as graphic as in Princess Mononoke (1997).

 

I feel I would be remiss without mentioning that I was “today years old” when I realized that Howl’s Moving Castle is actually a novel adaptation. Reading some of the reviews of the film clued me in to the fact that the movie does differ from the book in potentially significant ways. I haven’t read the book so could not advise whether I, personally, mind the changes. I am intrigued now, though, and do intend to add this book to my ever-growing to-read list. If you’re a fan of the book, I’m not sure if you’ll be ok with the changes or not. (If you don’t mind spoilers, IMDb’s trivia page for Howl’s Moving Castle has some of these differences listed.)

 

This is one of those few rare movies that never get old for me. I could watch it a million times over and over and never tire of it and watch it a million times more. It’s a comfort-watch for both myself and my daughter and is one of the first films she insists her friends watch if they’re into anime. 

The Ghibli Fest 2023 is running through early November, so if you would like to catch a showing of these classic anime movies, check out the schedule through the Fathom Events site. 

 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 87%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 93%

Metascore – 82%

Metacritic User Score – 8.7/10

IMDB Score – 8.2/10

 

Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 5/5

 

P.S. - Just as an extra piece of trivia in clearing up a common misconception stemming from a few of the DVD and blu-ray release editions of some of the Studio Ghibli movies - Disney does not, and has never owned Studio Ghibli. They only had a limited distribution deal with Studio Ghibli, and that expired in 2017 when GKIDS took over the distribution rights. 

 

Movie Trailer:

The Cube Trilogy

I’ve always been curious about the movie Cube (1997). My RP group designed some events around it, it’s noted as being an impressive B cult film, and pretty much everyone I know that’s seen it has enjoyed it.

As with most cinematic black holes, though, once you go a certain amount of time without watching something it gets more difficult to find the time. New movies come out, work takes over, family life expands, and movies that people swear you should have seen forever ago just slip through the cracks.

The other day, my little one decided she was going to have a sleepy day and I decided it gave me enough time to watch the entire Cube trilogy. So, I did. I watched all three movies, back-to-back. First Cube, then Cube²: Hypercube (2002), and finally, Cubeº: Cube Zero (2004).

Let me start with the series as a whole.

A lot of questions don’t really get answered. In a trilogy like this, I would expect the final film – since it’s a prequel – to offer some kind of closure on why things are happening. You get a non-committal ‘who’ but no real ‘why’. That disappointed me. They did manage to bring things around so that the story made some manner of sense, but the fact that I got no real closure, kind of bothered me.

As for the individual movies, that was a bit more complicated.

I think Cube (the first one), is a brilliant example of a film that ‘doesn’t hold up’. You hear people use that saying a lot, but you really only see examples of it here and there.

For the most part, if you don’t mind ignoring technological changes, there are very few reasons for a movie to not hold up. Not taking CGI, or cinematography in general, into account, I believe the story itself doesn’t hold up. It’s a little boring and shallow – just a basic torture porn, only it doesn’t go as far as a lot of the other movies out there.

The thing is, I would put money on the belief that I would have loved Cube if I saw it when it first came out. It was B quality, but in a good way. It also would have been the first I’d seen of that kind of story and I would have been enthralled. Instead, the first film I saw with that same basic story was Saw (2004). I believe I still would have liked Saw if I’d seen Cube first… but going the other way around makes it feel like I have to compare the two, and I just prefer Saw.

The second movie, Cube²: Hypercube had a different problem. It took all the CGI it could and utilized it to make something ridiculously over worked that cheapened the plot. I was so distracted by the quantum bullshit that I forgot to care about the characters at all.

I didn’t mind the first movie, but the second one pushed my buttons and kind of annoyed me. The ending made it worth a watch, but just barely.

The third film was, by far, my favorite of the three. Cubeº: Cube Zero made me think back to Cabin in the Woods (2012) and I had to admit that I saw how the entire Cube series could very well have influenced the Joss Whedon/Drew Goddard creation. Instantly that endeared the third film to me because I LOVED Cabin in the Woods.

What the third film did right was to make me empathize with the antagonist – or at least a sub-set of the antagonists. It also brought more of the Cube world into focus by stepping slightly outside the cube.

With the way the third film circled around to set up the first, I found myself greatly appreciating that they’d made it a prequel. However, I think they could have gone further and explained more to the audience.

If I wasn’t left wanting, I’d be more likely to consider myself a member of the Cube cult. Unfortunately, watching the trilogy didn’t quite scratch the itch it caused.

It’s not a bad series, but not one I’m likely to be foaming at the mouth to watch again.

Wicker Park (2004)

Number Rolled: 39

Movie Name/Year: Wicker Park (2004)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 114 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Affiliated Companies: MGM, Lakeshore Entertainment

Executive Producer: Georges Benayoun, Gilles Mimouni, Harley Tannenbaum, Henry Winterstern

Director: Paul McGuigan

Writer: Gilles Mimouni, Brandon Boyce

Actors: Josh Hartnett, Rose Byrne, Matthew Lillard, Diane Kruger, Christopher Cousins, Jessica Pare, Amy Sobol, Ted Whittall, Joanna Noyes

Matthew is just starting down a new road in his career. Just before an important trip to China is about to begin, he convinces himself that he’s seen the girlfriend who disappeared a couple of years earlier. Obsessed with finding out what happened, he puts off his trip in order to find her.

Josh Hartnett (Penny Dreadful, Girl Walks Into a Bar, Black Hawk Down) and Matthew Lillard (The Bridge, Fat Kid Rules the World, SLC Punk) are the two reasons this movie found its way onto my list. With the romantic qualities it’s right up Hartnett’s alley and it shows off his puppy dog quality that makes his fans swoon. Matthew Lillard… well… I think he should be in everything. I seriously believe every movie would be better with a dash of Lillard. He can do anything, but his main talent is that drop of comedy that keeps movies like this from being stale.

Why did Wicker Park need that comedy? That’s an easy question.

In short, the movie spends the first half hour competing for the title of “most boring.” Aspects of the story start to appear, but without the connections that come later on it feels confusing. Granted, in psychological thrillers there’s usually a “what the fuck’s going on here” aspect; that feeling is usually coupled with an undertone of dread and curiosity. In Wicker Park, it’s not coupled with anything.

Without Lillard’s unique, and necessary, brand of comedy it would have been a lot more difficult to suffer through the beginning.

Once the threads of the plot began to connect and I got to start seeing the big picture, however, it became almost difficult to look away.

At the very end, the movie left me satisfied. All my questions were answered and I looked back on the story fondly.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 25%

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 80%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 3.1/5

Trust-the-Dice Score – 3.5/5

P.S. Wicker Park is a remake of the French film The Apartment (1996)

Movie Trailer: 

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)

Number Rolled: 6

Movie Name/Year: Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)

Genre: Sci-fi & Fantasy

Length: 91 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Phil Tippett

Writer: Edward Neumeier

Actors: Billy Brown, Richard Burgi, Kelly Carlson, Cy Carter, Sandrine Holt, Ed Lauter, J.P. Manoux, Lawrence Monoson, Colleen Porch, Drew Powell, Ed Quinn, Jason-Shane Scott, Brenda Strong, Brian Tee

For those of you unfamiliar with the Starship Troopers storyline, it is based around an intergalactic war featuring humans vs. super alien bugs. The second movie, however, has very little to do with the first and third of the series. It follows a group of troopers as they seek shelter after being overrun. They find a survivor in the building they use to bunker down and things begin to go a little haywire.

I mentioned in an earlier review for “Starship Troopers 3: Marauders,” that I’d heard this movie was supposed to be one long soft-core porn. I don’t agree. Yes, there was a large amount of nudity in it and a whole bunch of people kissing, but there really wasn’t any sex. In fact, there was very little implied sex for that matter. I’ve seen more sex scenes in mainstream rom-com’s. It was terrible, but it wasn’t the porn that people seem to think it was.

When it comes to sequels, I don’t really expect “good.” I know that’s a strange thing to say but hear me out. The purpose of a sequel is to further the storyline and enhance what has already been established. If I were to give an example of what I consider a good sequel, it would be “My Girl 2.” Critics weren’t overly fond of it and I can absolutely understand why. It was overly sappy and kind of failed as a stand-alone film. However, as a sequel, “My Girl 2” added greater depth to the main character and her oft-mentioned mother. It didn’t create its own story, rather it elevated the original so that the nuances could be understood at a greater level. The best sequels, in my opinion, don’t have to stand alone; they only need to enrich the existing storyline.

Where the Starship Troopers series is concerned, I wish I’d never seen the second or third sequels. They not only did nothing to elevate or enrich the story of the first one, but cheapened it to such a degree that I can’t even watch the first one anymore without rolling my eyes a little. It angers me, because the original was once one of my favorite movies.

I’m hoping to leave the trauma of the sequels behind me sometime in the future.

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.3/5

Overall Opinion – 1/5

Movie Trailer:

13 Going on 30 (2004)

Number Rolled: 9

Movie Name/Year: 13 Going on 30 (2004)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 97 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Gary Winick

Writer: Josh Goldsmith, Cathy Yuspa

Actors: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Judy Greer, Andy Serkis, Kathy Baker, Phil Reeves, Sam Ball, Marcia DeBonis, Christa B. Allen, Sean Marquette, Kiersten Warren, Joe Grifasi, Mary Pat Gleason, Susan Egan, Lynn Collins, Renee Olstead, Alexandra Kyle, Alex Black

At Jenna’s thirteenth birthday party, something goes severely wrong. Although things are seemingly looking up when the popular kids agree to join her, it turns out to be a prank. When she figures it out, she wishes to be thirty, and her wish is granted.

There’s not really much original about the base plot. It’s been done more times than I can count. As a singular point of view of a “Freaky Friday” situation, the story goes exactly the way you think it would. Within five minutes of the movie, you’ll have the entire thing mapped out in your brain. However, even knowing that, I found I really enjoyed this movie. I think it may be one of my favorite versions of this recipe.

I think Garner did a wonderful job and Ruffalo is just plain adorable. Also, the casting was fantastic, the actresses they got to play the younger and older Tom-Toms looked incredibly similar. I had no problem discerning who the older actress was supposed to be, even before the movie told me.

There’s not really much else to add. It was a hilarious, cringe-worthy, telling of a tale told a thousand times. No one reinvented the wheel here, but it rolls along just fine anyway.

There was one slight hole in the story, though. I’ll explain why it’s a hole, but you won’t fully get the picture unless you watch it: I don’t know any parents who would allow their thirteen year old daughters sleep over at a 30 year old woman house – especially when that woman doesn’t have any kids. That’s just weird.

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.9/5

Overall Opinion – 4/5

Movie Trailer: 

Night Watch (2004)

Number Rolled: 44

Movie Name/Year: Night Watch (2004)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 114 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

Writer: Timur Bekmambetov, Laeta Kalogridis, Sergey Lukyanenko

Actors: Konstantin Khabenskiy, Vladimir Menshov, Valeriy Zolotukhin, Mariya Poroshina, Galina Tyunina, Yuriy Kutsenko, Aleksey Chadov, Zhanna Friske, Ilya Lagutenko, Viktor Verzbitskiy, Rimma Markova, Mariya Mironova, Aleksey Maklakov, Aleksandr Samoylenko, Dmitriy Martynov, Anna Slyu, Anna Dubrovskaya

The Protectors of Light and the Warriors of Darkness learned that they were equal in strength, neither able to win a direct war. So, they came to a truce. The two sides police each other, separating into Night Watch and Day Watch. The Others (supernatural humans) that make up the warriors, are held to specific rules in order to ensure the truce is not broken. However, when a prophecy comes to light, proving that they may be forced to call off the truce all together, it comes down to one basic and necessary question: Will the Great One choose to lend his power to the light or to the dark?

“Night Watch” wasn’t really something I would have chosen to add to my queue on my own. Truth is, I’m not really the biggest fan of subtitles outside of the anime genre. However, a friend of mine brought it up to me. At the time, only “Day Watch” was available on Netflix, which is the second film, and since I was unsure if the second of the trilogy could stand on its own without the back-story, I waited until “Night Watch” was available. That was a little over a month ago.

Visually, the movie was absolutely breath taking, except there was a bit too much slow motion for me. I get what the director was trying to do with it; I just don’t think it fully worked. Like in “The Matrix,” the slow motion was used to capture an aspect of non-mundane notion. For “The Matrix” that conveyed idea was the lack of reality in the matrix, in “Night Watch,” it was meant to portray general supernatural nature. In some cases it worked, in others it just seemed like the movie was stalling itself, trying to reach a certain maximum time. At one point I could swear I watched a nail fall for about ten minutes. Ridiculous. Slow motion is good in smaller doses; at least in anything that isn’t supposed to be a comedy.

I did get bored; which is a shame, because the story was really great. There were little twists and mind games – which is exactly what I like to see in my thrillers. The concept of the two sides policing each other (good vs. evil) and the necessity of free will in order to keep the truce, was one I really enjoyed seeing.

Although the method used wasn’t one of my favorites, I would still recommend “Night Watch” to others.

Overall Opinion – 3.5/5

P.S. Only the beginning is in English, the rest is sub-titled.

P.P.S. “Night Watch” is loosely based on the book “The Night Watch” by Sergei Lukyanenko and is the first of a trilogy. (“Day Watch” and “Twilight Watch” being the last two, in order.)

Movie Trailer: 

Wilderness Survival for Girls (2004)

Number Rolled: 54

Movie Name/Year: Wilderness Survival for Girls (2004)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 78 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Eli B. Despres, Kim Roberts

Writer: Eli B. Despres, Kim Roberts

Actors: Jeanette Brox, Megan Henning, Ali Humiston, James Morrison

Three girls (Ruth, Deb and Kate), go to a mountain cabin for a weekend getaway. While there, they get high and discuss why the cabin hasn’t been in use for several years. When a stranger, Ed, shows up, paranoia takes over.

I’ve written a lot about disagreeing with the majority of critics. Normally, it’s about when they pan a movie that I wind up loving; this time it’s the other way around. Although this movie didn’t seem to do too badly on the sites I tend to frequent, I wound up finding it completely pointless. I didn’t hate it, per-say, I simply saw no reason for it to exist.

Bored is an understatement. I felt like I was watching this movie for two years straight. Where it’s considered a thriller, this move fails without any doubt in my mind. I felt absolutely no connection to any of the actors and the script was terrible.

78 minutes of nothing is just too long to sit down and watch. The only silver lining is that I never have to watch it again.

Overall Opinion – 1/5

Without a Paddle (2004)

Number Rolled: 25

Movie Name/Year: Without a Paddle (2004)

Genre: Action & Adventure

Length: 98 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Steven Brill

Writer: Fred Wolf, Harris Goldberg, Tom Nursall, Jay Leggett, Mitch Rouse

Actors: Matthew Price, Andrew Hampton, Jarred Rumbold, Carl Snell, Antony Starr, Dax Shepard, Matthew Lillard, Seth Green, Nadine Bernecker, Danielle Cormack, Rachel Blanchard, Christina Moore, Burt Reynolds

The movie starts off with four childhood friends. One of them goes off to live a life of adventure, and the other three promise to as well. About ten minutes in you learn that all three of them couldn’t follow their promises and have wound up getting your usual jobs and living your basic existence. Then the one that got to live the adventure dies and the other three are left looking around and wondering what could have been. So, they set off on a trip they all agreed to take when they were young; a camping trip that was supposed to lead up to finding the treasure of DB. Of course, there wouldn’t actually be a movie if it was all smooth sailing from there.

With a cast involving Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard as the three leads, you know there is going to be some laughs. As three actors playing best friends, their chemistry was pretty good, too. The whole height thing comes into play, which, how could it not since Matt and Dax are freakishly tall and Seth is the exact opposite. Their personalities and biology clash and mesh to make a pretty damn good trio, if you ask me.

The story is pretty good and the script is funny, but it’s the actors that gave this movie any real depth. Even with that, you wind up with something that’s largely unmemorable after the credits roll.

Don’t get me wrong! It’s a cute movie. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen it and it won’t be the last. There’s a reason that – if you look at rottentomatoes.com – you’ll see the critics tanked the movie (12%) but the audience loved it (73%). It’s because it’s got the kind of humor you get in old Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler movies, but with slightly less acknowledged actors. It’s a movie geared toward its target audience <i>not</i> toward the critics; and critics are like three years olds, they throw a tantrum when they’re not acknowledged.

I recommend seeing it once if you think it’s your brand of humor; and not just because of my deep and everlasting love for Matthew Lillard, either. It’s worth the hour and a half of your time and it’ll give you some laughs.

Overall Opinion – 3/5

The Forgotten (2004)

Number Rolled: 30

Movie Name/Year: The Forgotten (2004)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 91 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Joseph Ruben

Writer: Gerald Di Pego

Actors: Julianne Moore, Christopher Kovaleski, Matthew Pleszewicz, Anthony Edwards, Jessica Hecht, Linus Roache, Gary Sinise, Dominic West, Scott Nicholson, P.J. Morrison, Robert Wisdom, Tim Kang, Kathryn Faughnan, Alfre Woodard

Screw the reviews, I liked this film.

A woman loses her son in a plane crash and goes to a therapist who works hard to convince her that her memory has been faulty. Evidence builds up to show that the son might not be dead, instead, he may actually never have existed. Unwilling to believe that she is delusional, Telly (played by Julianne Moore) goes on a mission to find someone who remembers her son, Sam. She comes across Ash (played by Dominic West) who eventually remembers, not only Sam, but his own daughter from the same supposed plane crash. They work together to thwart the police and FBI while they look for answers to the mystery of the lost memory of their kids.

It’s got a creepy kind of Twilight-Zone storyline to it. The story doesn’t let on that there’s a supernatural twist until about a half hour to forty minutes in, though there is some foreshadowing and implicating done that allows you to arrive to the conclusion on your own. In fact, if you really think about it, predicting the ending isn’t very difficult, but you would have to use your brain throughout the story to do so.  

To be honest, the story is a tad underdeveloped. The way they bring in the supernatural factor is kind of, ‘meh.’ It feels like they could have used a better catalyst to explain that portion. The ending, also, didn’t seem to answer all of the questions even those directly posed from the climax. I have learned there’s an alternate ending on the DVD. Supposedly, it is better than the one they used. Aside from that, there were some missteps in the filming; shaky camera scenes that really had no purpose in being wobbly, for instance.

It is possible that the movie isn’t as good as I seem to believe it is. The actors were good enough to make me care about the characters and their stories, regardless of the script. That’s not really a usual thing. The script was most likely mediocre, but the delivery, especially from Julianne Moore, made it seem exceptional.

I saw this movie once before and I think I might have seen the alternate ending because I either dreamed about another scene or I saw a scene that wasn’t in this version. It was kind of strange waiting for a scene that would never come - but certainly fitting for the title.

Overall Opinion – 3.5/5

A Home at the End of the World (2004)

Number Rolled: 16

Movie Name/Year: A Home at the End of the World (2004)

Genre: Drama

Length: 96 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Michael Mayer

Writer: Michael Cunningham

Actors: Andrew Chalmers, Ryan Donowho, Asia Vieira, Erik Smith, Harris Allan, Matt Frewer, Sissy Spacek, Colin Farrell, Dallas Roberts, Robin Wright

This movie is a little confusing to start off with. Though, that could just be my brain coming down off the super busy holidays and trying to immediately understand an indy film.

Based on a book by Michael Cunningham, this movie follows the life of a boy named Bobby Morrow. Bobby (played by three different actors during the movie – since it takes place over two decades) is raised alongside a brother that introduces him to drugs and sex then, later on, alongside a friend he develops feelings for and his friends family. The two friends become inseparable and eventually move in together with a woman in New York. From there, the movie begins to go into a very unconventional relationship. (No, I don’t consider gay relationships unconventional, so I don’t count the first part of the movie in that description.)

To be honest, it took me a little while to get into it. Colin Farrell kind of looked like he was wearing a bad wig for the first twenty minutes or so that he was on screen. Erik Smith and Harris Allan probably did the best they could with their roles, but their characters felt like serious versions of characters right out of Napoleon Dynamite, which is a movie I feel is a waste of film reel.

Even with those issues, the movie was quirky and engrossing. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was sincere. It felt real. I got attached to the characters. I enjoyed the story line. It didn’t follow any particular recipe that I can think of at the moment, and I never really knew what was coming over the next five minutes.

I felt like the ending was a little abrupt, but just as bitter sweet and thought provoking as the rest of the movie. It also allowed for the viewer to use a little imagination toward figuring out what happened.

I’m very much for gay rights. Pro-gay marriage. Pro-gay everything, pretty much. However, I know that there are many people who are not. If gay themes make you uncomfortable, you’re not going to enjoy this movie at all.

Overall Opinion – 4/5

Crimes of Fashion (2004)

Number Rolled: 95

Movie Name/Year: Crimes of Fashion (2004)

Genre: Comedy

Length: 89 minutes

Rating: NR

Director: Stuart Gillard

Writer: David Mickel

Actors: Angelo Celeste, Dominic Chianese, Kaley Cuoco, Louis Di Bianco, Shannon Duff, Catherine Emmanuel, Megan Fox, Joyce Gordon, Hazel Gorin, Graham Harley

This movie was quite obviously one meant to air on TV. Even if there weren’t breaks in video that were meant for commercials, the basic premise and acting would lead you to believe it.

I don’t hate Megan Fox, but one needs to wonder why she plays the stuck-up bitch so easily. Everything from Transformers to Jennifer’s Body to this. I have yet to see her in something where I don’t want to smack her character upside the head with a chair. Kaley Cuoco, however, I do love, but in this she seems to have reprised her role as Billie on Charmed… only without the really cool powers and an added love of fashion designing.

The storyline was very “The Princess Diaries”. A plain type girl who’s in fashion school learns that her grandfather was a mob boss and is given a make-over to bring her into the family and give her control of it. Replace a couple of words, actually, and the synopsis is exactly that of “The Princess Diaries (2001).”

I found myself bored. It’s a recipe movie. Not a very good recipe movie. It’s the kind that really doesn’t push the envelope much and makes little to no effort to be original in any way. If you like that particular recipe, it’s fine. If you don’t prefer that recipe, stay away, “Crimes of Fashion” won’t convince you to.

Overall Opinion – 2/5

Twisted (2004)

Number Rolled: 88

Movie Name/Year: Twisted (2004)

Genre: Thriller

Length: 96 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Philip Kaufman

Writer: Sarah Thorp

Actors: Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, David Strathaim, Russell Wong, Mark Pellegrino, Titus Welliver, D.W. Moffett, Richard T. Jones, Leland Orser, William Hall

This move was pretty good. I’m jaded a bit since it was my second time to the race for it. I have to say – I remember seeing it the first time. I was enthralled, more by the mystery than the actual storyline, but still. Ashley Judd played a convincing drunkard-cop-woman and those around her didn’t do too badly either.

It’s not particularly a new storyline, but it was made well and left some good room for guessing. It was old, in other words, but made fresh. Like leftovers that got turned into something more appetizing. There were a few moments when you could look at the screen as go, “wtf!” but not nearly as many as I would have liked.

Seeing it a second time, I think I can safely say – it’s got no re-watch value. So, if you want to see it, hit up Netflix and watch it. When you wind up loving it and decide it would be a nice addition to your DVD collection – wait. Watch it again a few weeks later and see how you feel then.

Overall Opinion – 3/5

Gamebox 1.0 (2004)

Number Rolled: 14

Movie Name/Year: Gamebox 1.0 (2004)

Genre: Horror (According to Netflix…)

Length: 83 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: David Hillenbrand, Scott Hillenbrand

Writer: Worm Miller, Patrick Casey

Actors: Danielle Fishel, Nate Richert, Patrick Kilpatrick, Patrick Cavanaugh

So, Harvey Kinkel from Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets World meet and fall in love. Sabrina hears about it and casts a spell…. Wait… sorry… that’s just how I looked at the movie because of the VERY familiar characters I saw. Relax, I kid – I kid.

Honestly? Rated 1.9 on Netflix and 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, I expect nothing short of bullshit from this movie. I severely underestimated it, and I think I know why. Netflix went all sorts of crazy with the labeling of this films genres. This is not, I repeat NOT, a horror movie in anyway-shape-or form. If you are expecting to see a horror, quickly pick up your remote and skip this film. Whatever moron sat through this and said “Oh, hey, this is a horror movie!” was on way too much LSD that day. I hope you had a bad trip douche-bag.

If I were to categorize this movie I would keep the Sci-Fi & Fantasy, trash the rest and add “Indie Film,” “Video Game Movie” and “Psychological Thriller”… then find the guy who labeled it a horror and kick him square in the nuts.

Now, as for the movie, don’t go into it expecting an A class movie, it’s definitely a B movie, but it’s done really nicely. A video game tester getting over the death of his girlfriend receives a free virtual reality game in the mail and assumes he’s meant to test it. He does and gets locked inside. It’s an interesting concept – true it’s something I’ve seen done before – but it was done well in my opinion. The acting was good, not great, but good and the storyline was great. I happen to especially love the ending.

My suggestion? This is one of those movie you need to say “fuck the critics” to, watch and judge for yourself. And for the love of the dice, don’t expect it to be a horror.

Overall Opinion – 3.5/5