Number Rolled: 86
Movie Name/Year: True
Memoirs of an International Assassin (2016)
Tagline: The man.
The myth. The memoirs.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Length: 98
minutes
Rating: TV-14
Production Companies:
Global Film Group, Netflix (Distributor)
Producer: Justin
Begnaud, Candy Carlsen-Buffa, Raja Collins, Mark Fasano, Kevin Scott Frakes,
Todd Garner, Michael Garrity, Jack L. Murray, Guy Riedel, Ankur Rungta
Director: Jeff
Wadlow
Writer: Jeff
Wadlow, Jeff Morris
Actors: Kevin
James, Kim Coates, Maurice Compte, Zulay Henao, Andrew Howard, Ron Rifkin, Yul
Vazquez, P.J. Byrne, Kelen Coleman, Leonard Earl Howze, Rob Riggle, Andy
Garcia, Jeff Chase, Katie Couric, G-Rod, Al Hamacher, Lauren Shaw, Emilie
Ullerup, Daniel Zacapa
Blurb from Netflix:
After his publisher markets his crime novel as a memoir, a novice author finds
himself forcibly recruited into a deadly political plot in Venezuela.
Selina’s Point of View:
That movie was GOOD. No, it was INCREDIBLE.
Normally, when I watch a film for Trust the Dice, I’ve
always got little statements and points to make in the back of my mind for when
it’s over. Granted, this time was no different in that way. However, I can’t
remember any of it now. I got so sucked into the storyline, and the acting was
outstanding…
In fact, there was nothing that even remotely pulled me out
of the story. Not even for a second.
I gotta be honest. I knew Kevin James (Little Boy, Zookeeper, The King of Queens) had decent comedic
timing, but I had no fucking CLUE he had something like this in him. When I saw
the trailer, I was expecting some kind of slapsticky, action/parody thing. I
still wanted to see it (it made my top 20 for the month), but I wasn’t
expecting a project as huge as what I just saw.
True Memoirs of an
International Assassin is a hardcore action film. It’s also a hardcore
comedy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen those two genres as perfectly balanced in
any other movie.
After watching, I loaded up Rotten Tomatoes. I don’t
understand how the film I just watched got a 0%. I just don’t.
In the reviews, I see a lot of complaints saying the film
was “lazy,” “irrelevant,” “typical James,” and “cliché.” I’m gonna guess those
critics know a LOT about cliché.
What does any of that mean, anyway? Calling a movie lazy, IS
lazy. Give a real reason for disliking it if you’re gonna call yourself a
critic. And what the fuck does “irrelevant” mean in this context? What’s this
film supposedly unconnected to? Cause if it’s the Super Bowl, I agree. And “typical
James,” this most certainly was not.
I don’t normally subscribe to conspiracy theories. I’ve
heard a LOT of them pitting big Hollywood against streaming sources like
Netflix and Amazon. Obviously, big Hollywood is scared of Netflix because their
success could mean a change in the way movies are made and watched. If that
change reaches a high point, it could lose a significant amount of money for mainstream
Hollywood in general.
I never really gave much thought to the conspiracy theories
surrounding that fact… but I may have to. I cannot think of any other logical
reason for this film to have scored a 0%. A few people disliking it, I would
understand. I expected to see something in the 70s. A 0%.... simply doesn’t
make sense.
I’m sorry this review turned into another rant about why I
hate critics, because True Memoirs of an
International Assassin deserves better. I would have liked to go more into
how amusing it was to watch this as a writer. We all wonder what would happen
to us if we got to interact with the characters we create, or become them.
I would recommend this film to anyone. In fact, my best
friend hates spy movies and I’m gonna go ahead and recommend it to him as well.
That being said, Trust the Dice is undergoing some changes. Tomorrow
we’ll be posting a notice explaining everything.
Cat’s Point of View:
Straight out of the gate, I must say that I loved this movie.
Loved it.
The performances were solid and the movie flowed smoothly. I
honestly lost track of the passage of time for a bit as I enjoyed myself.
Kevin James (Grown
Ups, Here Comes the Boom, Pixels) makes an unlikely action hero, but it
worked! He’s very relatable as an ‘everyman;’ and his charisma and comedic
timing always draws me in. His performance was a bit reminiscent of watching
Mr. Incredible, with his insurance day-job and heroic alter ego.
I also loved this peek into the mind of a writer. From the
visuals of his personal space to the level of research put into the various
aspects of the fictional character’s experience. There’s a meme circulating
around the internet somewhere about a writer’s browser history being a cause
for placement on watch lists, and such. This movie reminded me of it again. I
also got a big kick out of how the movie treats the characters of the fictional
story – especially when they’re not being focused on.
This recent batch of releases had me doing a happy dance for
seeing Kim Coates (Resident Evil:
Afterlife, Goon, Strange Weather) hitting the screen in multiple projects. I
think Coates was perfect for his role. I only wish there was more!
There are two actors that really grabbed my attention here,
also. I have seen some of their other projects but they really hadn’t stuck in
my mind very well. I’ll be looking out for them now. Who are they? Maurice
Compte (Echo Park, Search Party, Narcos)
playing Juan and Zulay Henao (Grizzly
Park, Fighting, Takers) playing Rosa Bolivar. I enjoyed that Compte brought
depth to his character so you could see that he was more than just a flunky.
I think Henao took the cake as a genuine badass. I wondered
if she had performed her own stunts in this movie – and I’m pretty sure she
did. This Columbian-born actress spent a few years in the US Army and even had
a Central America deployment, according to a few interviews I found.
Her action work was spot-on and proved that she’s not just
another bombshell used to add sexy backdrop to an action movie. She was great
in the non-action moments, as well, though. I really enjoyed her dynamic with
James.
I actually wouldn’t mind watching a sequel to this one, I
liked it so much. This is definitely at or near the top of my recommendations
currently.
Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 0%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 47%
Netflix’s Prediction for Selina – 4.5/5
Selina’s Trust-the-Dice Score – 5/5
Netflix’s Prediction for Cat – 4.5/5
Cat’s Trust-the-Dice Score
– 5/5
P.S. The music
accompanying the second part of the credits is very amusing when taking the
plot into context.
Movie Trailer:
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