V/H/S/85 (2023)

 

 

Streaming Service: Shudder

Movie Name/Year: V/H/S/85 (2023) 

Genre: Horror, Thriller 

Length:  110min 

Rating: TV-MA

Directors: David Bruckner, Scott Derrickson, Natasha Kermani, Mike P. Nelson, Gigi Saul Guerrero 

Writers: C. Robert Cargill, Zoe Cooper, Scott Derrickson, Evan Dickson, Mike P. Nelson, Gigi Saul Guerrero 

Actors: Freddy Rodríguez, Kelli Garner, James Ransone, Jordan Belfi, Gigi Saul Guerrero, Dani Deetté, Mark Sipka, Andrew Ghai, Anna Sundberg, Shelby Steel, Chelsey Grant, Tyler Noble, Gabriela Roel, Chivonne Michelle, Justen Jones, Florencia Ríos, Dashiell Derrickson, Toussaint Morrison, Marcio Moreno, Alex Galick, Ari Gallegos, Eric Pierson, Gerardo Oñate, Forrest Hartl, Dana DeRuyck, Evie Bair, Duffy McManus, Felipe de Lara, Tom Reed, Brent Picha, Renee Werbowski, José María Higareda, Bryan McDonald, Christopher Gasser, Murray Nelson, Anna Hashizume, Nicholas Krekeler 

 

IMDb Blurb: Unveiled through a made-for-TV documentary, five tales of found footage horror emerge to take viewers on a terrifying journey into the grim underbelly of the 1980s. 

 

 

Cat’s Point of View: 

While I haven’t always jived with every segment featured in the anthology franchise, the V/H/S (2012) movies have been a fun experience, over all. It’s like unpacking a “blind box” of film shorts. Sometimes there are things in the box that you don’t necessarily care for, but the rest is an enjoyable surprise. V/H/S/85 was the latest installment in this cinematic series, and I was enthusiastic to open up this mystery bundle.

 

I have mentioned before (and probably will again) that I absolutely love to watch productions set in the 1980s. I’m an 80s baby and so the decade is full of warm fuzzy nostalgia. Of course, we’re talking about a horror anthology here with V/H/S/85 so there really isn’t anything ‘warm and fuzzy’ about it. The little details that placed it within the 80s, however, not only helped me immerse myself within the collected found footage features, but it also gave me a little comfort touchstone – like wrapping up in a blanket while watching the scary movie.

 

 

Speaking of scary, I can’t say that I was chilled to the bone by any of these stories, but they were all interesting and well executed for the most part.

 

Gigi Saul Guerrero’s (Mistress of Bones, Bingo Hell, Satanic Hispanics) "God of Death" segment felt right at home as footage from a TV studio in the 80s and it captured the essence of the real event it was loosely framed around… with a twist. Scott Derrickson’s (Sinister, Doctor Strange, The Black Phone) "Dreamkill" segment was one of my favorites. Not only did this short distill the essence of the 80s well, it was also disturbing beyond the blood and gore. Natasha Kermani (The Samaritan, Imitation Girl, Lucky) "TKNOGD" segment gave all the right early computer graphics feels while incorporating a horror element into performance art. Mike P. Nelson’s (The Domestics, Studio Luma, Wrong Turn) "No Wake" & "Ambrosia" segments probably were the ‘winners’ for me. These 2 segments resonated in a different way than the others and held more subtle horror in addition to the overt elements involved.

 

 

I don’t know that the over-arching story the individual short films were sprinkled throughout connected as well to the segments as in some prior V/H/S offerings. I understood what David Bruckner’s (Southbound, The Night House, Hellraiser) "Total Copy" segment was going for, but couldn’t help have a bit of a disconnect with it. It was perhaps a combination of my own internal question of ‘but why, though?’ in regards to each of these ‘discovered’ home-videos watched within that narrative and some of the visual choices that just didn’t resonate with me. It wasn’t “bad,” per se… it just wasn’t as effective over-all for me.

 

That being said, V/H/S/85 was still absolutely worth the watch. This was, in fact, my second time watching this anthology as I’d tuned in as soon as it had released on Shudder last year. If you like horror anthologies, this franchise still remains a decided go-to. 

 

 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 74% 

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 70% 

Metascore – 53%

Metacritic User Score – 5.8/10 

IMDB Score – 5.6/10 

 

Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 3.5/5 

 

Movie Trailer:

 

Ominous October - Dark Glasses (2022)

Streaming Service: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: Dark Glasses (2022)
Genre: Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Length: 1h 26min
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Alamode Film, Canal+, Ciné+, Cinobo, Getaway Films, Lumix Media, Ministero della Cultura, NonStop Entertainment, NOS Audiovisuais, Panda Lichtspiele Filmverleih, Pierrot Le Fou, Rai Cinema, Regione Lazio, Russian Report, Shudder, Sky, Urania Pictures S.r.l., Vision Distribution, Wild Bunch International
Director: Dario Argento
Writer: Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini
Actors: Ilenia Pastorelli, Asia Argento, Andrea, Gherpelli, Mario Pirrello, Maria Rosaria Russo, Gennaro Iaccarino, Andrea Zhang
 
Blurb from IMDb: Diana, a young woman who lost her sight, finds a guide in a Chinese boy named Chin. Together they will track down a dangerous killer through the darkness of Italy.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
I think Dario Argento (Creepers, Opera, Deep Red) put all the horror tropes from the 80s into a bag, picked them out blind folded then wrote a movie around what he pulled. I was seriously hoping to get something a bit better, especially from Argento. Then again, most of his best works are from the 70s and 80s. Maybe I should have expected this.
 
I’ll admit that the worst of my fears were circumvented. Whenever there’s a story written with a specific disability in mind, you need to worry about how it’s going to be handled. The trailer for Dark Glasses made me worry about how they would represent blind people. I think it could have done better, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.
 
I did think that some of the scenes going into how the protagonist learned to navigate her life as a newly blind person were decent.
 

The scene with the first kill was also bad ass. It gave me the impression that there would be some body horror and a slasher feel. The rest of the flick didn’t live up to that promise though. There wasn’t much body horror after that except for the tiniest amount at the end.
 
All-in-all, Dark Glasses was basic. It was a trope-filled, slow, disjointed film. Definitely not one I would choose to watch again.
 
If you plan to check it out, it will be available on Shudder this Thursday, October 13.
 

Cat’s Point of View:
When a trailer opens with the statement that the film you are about to watch was created by a country’s “Master of Horror,” it sets a couple of expectations in motion.
 
When we watched the trailer for Dark Glasses prior to putting together October’s Top 20 list, there were some red flags in the teaser that pointed to potential issues. There was a concern about the perception of those with vision impairment, and whether the crux of the horror would be based on that concept. I’m generally quick to play devil’s advocate and lean to the optimistic side of things. I guessed that it was a perception the trailer put forward rather than the actual plot of the movie. I was somewhat correct, there. I do, however, remain irked with the amount revealed by trailers these days. At least it didn’t give away everything this time.
 
Unfortunately, while the newfound vision impairment of the protagonist wasn’t at the core of Dark Glasses’ issues – it certainly had them in spades.
 
My points of contention with Dark Glasses came from the entirety of the rest of the movie. It was just clunky. The introduction segment was far longer than it needed to be. There was nearly 6-minutes of practically nothing. If I were really grasping at straws I could maybe write some of it off as building tension from a ‘what the hell is going on’ perspective, or even the symbolism of celestial events. It just felt pointless and had me looking at the runtime because it felt like forever.
 

When the story got moving, it was somewhat compelling – but felt a little stilted all the same. I felt some emotion for the characters involved, but also had a lot of eye-rolling going on. I don’t think I fully recovered from my initial annoyance if I’m honest. I didn’t quite connect with all of the practical effects, either – mostly at the end.
 
Bless their hearts, they tried.
 
I do have one other positive to offer for Dark Glasses, believe it or not. I didn’t have problems following along, as I sometimes do when I haven’t really connected with a subtitled movie. Perhaps I was more invested than I thought I was, or it made enough sense for me to piece things together without feeling like I was struggling to read a book and watch something at the same time.
 
Dark Glasses does fit into our theme of ominous and chilling films to partake of in October. It wouldn’t, however, be at the top of my list of recommendations… if there at all.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 50%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – None
Metascore – 45%
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score –5.0/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 1.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 2.5/5
 
Trust-the-Dice’s Parental Advisory Rating: R
 
Movie Trailer:

Blonde (2022)

Streaming Service: Netflix
Movie Name/Year: Blonde (2022)
Genre: Biography, Drama, Mystery
Length: 2h 46min
Rating: NC-17
Production/Distribution: Plan B Entertainment, Netflix
Director: Andrew Dominik
Writers: Andrew Dominik, Joyce Carol Oates
Actors: Adrien Brody, Ana de Armas, Bobby Cannavale, Caspar Phillipson, Garret Dillahunt, Julianne Nicholson, Lucy DeVito, Rebecca Wisocky, Sara Paxton, Scoot McNairy, Toby Huss, Xavier Samuel
 
IMDb Blurb: A fictionalized chronicle of the inner life of Marilyn Monroe. 

 
Cat’s Point of View:
I had a lot to say with Blonde’s listing as my #16 pick on September’s Top 20 list. Now that I’ve watched the movie, I’ll try to address most of those points here, with my review.
 
First and foremost, I’ll be blunt and shoot straight with you right out of the gate – Blonde was an uncomfortable watch. I do believe that was the point of the story, however. This narrative explored how young Norma Jean was taken advantage of because of her aspirations, appearance, and broken past. It was a gritty and unflinching depiction of the dichotomy between the woman Norma Jean and the Hollywood creation of Marilyn Monroe; as well as the darker side of the movie industry – especially before the women’s rights movement came along.

 
Blonde is not for the faint of heart or anyone sensitive to the topics of sexual assault, nudity, drug use, or abortion. I’d say just about all of the aforementioned topics are rather ‘hot-button’ in nature, and it became abundantly clear as to why the MPAA went with the NC-17 rating as I watched. While this adaptation’s screenwriter and director, Andrew Dominik (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Killing Them Softly, Mindhunter), felt that he’d delivered a strong R rating, and some elements have made it to the screen in the past without such a drastic label, when you put everything together, Blonde is a film best experienced by mature audiences only.
 
Marilyn Monroe (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Don’t Bother to Knock, Some Like It Hot) was absolutely iconic. It shouldn’t be surprising that the golden girl of the silver screen had darkness in her life, though we should also take Blonde with a grain of salt and not accept all of it as gospel. While the story does incorporate actual timeline moments from Monroe’s life, this is the 2^nd on-screen adaptation of a novel – a work of fiction. This was not a biography or documentary by any means.

 
If anything, Blonde felt more like an art-house take on the life of Marilyn Monroe. It was gorgeous and the dominant use of black and white gave it some stark contrast. It wasn’t all in monochrome, however. Blonde was also overly long. You could have edited out at least an hour and it probably would have had a greater impact. It was really a chore to maintain focus at some points because my ADHD was screaming at me. Dominik has called the production “an avalanche of images and events” rather than your typical movie experience. That was an apt description, as I feel like I’ve been buried by the weight of it now that the credits have rolled.
 
The cast was phenomenal. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some Oscar nods from this production. There was a lot of hoopla before Blonde was released about lead Ana de Armas’ (The Night Clerk, Deep Water, No Time to Die) accent. I didn’t care about that at the time I was writing my Top 20 article, and I don’t care any more about that now that I’ve watched the film. I barely noticed the odd coloring of accent here and there. I think Armas nailed Monroe’s light and whispy voice with near perfection. Her performance was so powerful that anything so tiny really was insignificant in comparison.

 
When all was said and done, Blonde simply wasn’t my cup of tea. My curiosity about Marilyn Monroe’s life pushed my desire to watch this movie. Now that I have, I’m left with the squirmy discomfort of it. This is definitely not a popcorn flick to watch for a relaxing night. Blonde wasn’t something I could just turn my brain off to enjoy. For that reason, I can’t see myself inflicting the brutality of this story on myself again in the future.
 
I wouldn’t say that I’d steer anyone away from Blonde, however, I’d caution anyone thinking of watching it to take these points into consideration before pressing play.  Blonde became available for streaming on Netflix today, September 28, 2022.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 50%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 46%
Metascore – 49%
Metacritic User Score – 4.4/110
IMDB Score – 6.1/10
 
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 3/5
 
Movie Trailer:

Speak No Evil (2022)

Streaming Service: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: Speak No Evil (2022)
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Length: 1h 37min
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Profile Pictures, OAK Motion Pictures, Danish Film Institute, FilmFyn, Netherlands Film Production Incentive, TrustNordisk, Night Edge Pictures, September Film, ADS Service, Estinfilm, Europos Kinas JSC, Koch Films, Lev Cinemas, Nordisk Film Distribution, Shudder, Sidus Fnh, The Reset Collective
Director: Christian Tafdrup
Writer: Christian Tafdrup, Mads Tafdrup
Actors: Morten Burian, Sidsel Siem Koch, Fedja van Huêt, Karina Smulders, Liva Forsberg, Marius Damslev, Hichem Yacoubi
 
Blurb from IMDb: A Danish family visits a Dutch family they met on a holiday. What was supposed to be an idyllic weekend slowly starts unraveling as the Danes try to stay polite in the face of unpleasantness.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
This is the exact kind of movie that I hate to watch.
 
Speak No Evil has a decent premise, and the ending is bleak and disturbing. On its own, that would be fine. I have enjoyed quite a few bleak endings in my time and, in many circumstances, prefer it. I usually find it more realistic than everything coming up rainbows and sunshine. Maybe that’s my New York cynicism showing, but it tends to be the way I lean.
 
The problem is that it takes an entire hour for Speak No Evil to move from drama to horror.
 
I cannot even fully explain how much effort it took to keep my concentration throughout the whole thing.
 

I don’t know what the creators were thinking. They overlaid some tense music on top of uncomfortable, but totally mundane, scenes and decided that would build the thrills necessary to get the audience to the payoff. It didn’t work for me. If anything, it felt cringy.
 
Audiences need more from a horror than what Speak No Evil gave. Especially with a climax as disturbing and horrific as this one. The rest of the film needs to have the foreshadowing and creepiness that prepares people. The way this flick goes, the ending seems like it should be from a completely different movie.
 
Critics are loving Speak No Evil. I think audience scores are going to reflect a different perspective. Once the hype clears, there’ll be nothing left to carry this one forward.
 
Of course, you can always see for yourself. Speak No Evil premieres on Shudder, September 15.
 

Cat’s Point of View:
The credits for Speak No Evil have concluded, and I’ve found myself staring at the screen while fumbling for words to process what I’ve just watched. Disturbing, shocking, and horrific would be the top 3 words that come to mind.
 
While I scramble to mush my shattered pieces together again, I should note that while Speak No Evil is listed as unrated, it should be considered a hard R-rating. There are child actors within the production, but this was definitely not a kid-friendly movie.
 

I’ll be honest, I don’t think I gave Speak No Evil enough credit while I was considering the films to list in September’s Top 20 list. I was moderately confused by the trailer we’d watched during the stream, and so it was generally edged out of contention by the volume of good material hitting screens this month. The second iteration of the trailer made a little more sense and set up the horrific and jarring events a bit better, though danced dangerously close to spoilers.
 
Speak No Evil had one of the most hard-to-watch endings that I’ve seen in a long while. Pair that with a simple, but haunting motive for the antagonists and you have the recipe for a very successful horror movie.
 
Fans of psychological horror would get a lot of mileage out of Speak No Evil.
 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 81%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – None
Metascore – 80%
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score –6.9/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 1.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 4/5
 
Trust-the-Dice’s Parental Advisory Rating: R
 
Movie Trailer:

Watcher (2022)

Streaming Service: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: Watcher (2022)
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Length: 1h 31min
Rating: R
Production/Distribution: Imagenation Abu Dhabi FZ, IFC Midnight, IFC Films, Shudder
Director: Chloe Okuno
Writer: Zack Ford, Chloe Okuno
Actors: Maika Monroe, Karl Glusman, Burn Gorman, Madalina Anea
 
Blurb from IMDb: A young American woman moves with her husband to Bucharest, and begins to suspect that a stranger who watches her from the apartment building across the street may be a local serial killer decapitating women.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
Very often it will seem like I just don’t like slow burns. Many of my reviews featuring them lean to the negative side. I have ADHD and I need to be stimulated by what I’m watching. I’ll admit, that makes it difficult for a slow burn to really hold my attention. There has to be something truly special about a slow film if I’m going to come away from it feeling what the creators want me to feel.
 
Watcher was the perfect example of a slow burn done right.
 
Every single second of Watcher is infused with a loneliness and isolation that you can’t help but feel. It creates a twist in the stomach that almost triggers a hypervigilance. Like the way you feel when you walk into a dangerous neighborhood, or a room where the vibe has turned south. You know something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is.
 

Even the main character’s allies feel off. For instance: her husband seems to be attempting to support her, but he has that inherent ignorance that people have when they’ve never actually gone through what they’re trying to sympathize with. It’s infuriating to watch, but it makes complete sense.
 
The ending filled me with a sense of dread that I don’t think I’ll be able to fully shake for a bit.
 
Watcher was expertly crafted and performed. Chloe Okuno’s (V/H/S/94, Slut, Full Circle) script and direction was top notch. Everything flowed naturally, which helped my immersion. Maika Monroe (It Follows, Honey Boy, The Scent of Rain & Lightning) sold the terror and uncertainty in every scene. Burn Gorman (Torchwood, Imperium, Layer Cake) I was already very familiar with, but I almost didn’t recognize him as he embodied his character.
 
I absolutely recommend Watcher. It premieres on Shudder August 26th.
 

Cat’s Point of View:
Watcher’s trailer was highly effective in drawing me into the story and getting invested in the characters without giving away too much. When I learned we’d get a chance to screen it in August, I was pretty excited.
 
Overall, I enjoyed Watcher. It was a slow burn, effective with its steady buildup of tension. For those that have seen this sort of movie before, it might be easy to guess where things are headed, but the ending was satisfyingly unexpected.
 
The fact that the production was filmed in Bucharest rather than somewhere else, was also a great plus. They got a lot of mileage out of the interesting architecture and facets of the neighborhood where the story was set.
 

Maika Monroe initially got my attention with It Follows (2014), and she didn’t disappoint with her strong, and memorable, performance in Watcher. Her character’s stress, fear, and frustration were palpable, even when she didn’t say a word. Speaking of words, I appreciated that Watcher lacked subtitles for the Romanian dialogue. It put the audience in the same position as Monroe’s character, with a bit of a fish out of water feeling.
 
Burn Gorman also delivered a creepy performance that had my skin crawling as events unfolded. It’s usually hard for me to see past his memorable role in the Pacific Rim (2013) movies when he’s on screen, but Watcher had its hooks in me deep enough that I only saw this character.
 
I was surprised to learn that this was the full-length feature film debut for writer and director Chloe Okuno. I am definitely looking forward to watching more of her work in the future.
 
Knowing how everything turned out, I wouldn’t mind viewing Watcher again, and I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it.
 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 88%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 67%
Metascore – 70%
Metacritic User Score – 6.3
IMDB Score –6.3/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 4.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 4/5
 
Movie Trailer:

Metal Lords (2022)

Streaming Service: Netflix
Movie Name/Year: Metal Lords (2022)
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Music
Length: 97 minutes
Rating: R 
Production/Distribution: Bighead Littlehead, Netflix
Director: Peter Sollett
Writer:  D.B. Weiss
Actors: Jaeden Martell, Adrian Greensmith, Isis Hainsworth, Noah Urrea, Brett Gelman, Analesa Fisher, Michelle Mao, Phelan Davis, Austin Huynh, Joe Manganiello, Teddy Van Ee, Aroon Nagappan, Kieran Thomas, Christopher M. Lopes, Rachel Pate
 
Blurb from IMDb: Two friends try to form a heavy metal band with a cellist for a Battle of the Bands.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
It’s hard for me to ignore some of the parallels between Metal Lords and my favorite film of all time.
 
SLC Punk (1998) was a love letter to the punk lifestyle and the music that birthed it. As a budding punk in high school, it spoke to me on a whole other level than most films. (I didn’t see it when it came out, it was a few years later.) It covered how the main characters got into the music, where that chaos took them, and where they ended up. On a more general level, it went into the very heart and soul of what punk was.
 
Metal Lords does the same thing for its music genre. There are some definite differences though.
 
For one, the characters are younger in Metal Lords. That means the R-rating represents the language a little more than anything else. There’s a touch of nudity, but anything sex-related is, thankfully, insinuated. 

Because the characters are younger, there’s also a lot more cringe involved. The teens are fighting their own emotions and causing a different kind of unintentional chaos. As a result, it feels like it’s for a younger demographic – although it’s really not.
 

That was the big thing that kept me from enjoying Metal Lords on the same level as SLC Punk. I hate cringe. I cannot stress that enough. Those parts of this movie really were not for me.
 
That said, the movie wasn’t made for me. I could never be classified as a metalhead. I do like my music loud and fast, but with a bit less structure and some base-level politics thrown in. I like to sing-yell at specific things, not just into the void. Though, I have nothing against metal either. There’s a little Pantera on my list, and I had a Sepultura phase.
 
Still, even without tapping into the nostalgia some of my friends might get out of this flick, it was decent. Just because it’s not unseating SLC Punk as my all-time fav, doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.
 
A lot of moments really subverted expectations. Even in the end, when it looked like Metal Lords might take the road most traveled, it had a last ‘fuck you’ ready. I can appreciate that.
 
It was a love letter to all things metal. As a result, metal fans might enjoy it best – but there’s enough in there for people just looking for a coming-of-age story.
 

Cat’s Point of View:
Let me tell you – Metal Lords made my inner metalhead very happy.
 
I adored this story from beginning to end and found myself relating with the characters on multiple levels. Honestly, I don’t think you have to be a die-hard fan of the heavy metal genre to connect with this movie. Though, if you are – it’s that much more fun of a ride. The heavy metal music homework list that is featured in Metal Lords is a well-deserved shout-out to some classic hard-hitting tracks.
 
Metal Lords was one of those movies that made me wish I knew how to play real drums rather than the imaginary air variety. I just wanted to jam out.
 
There were elements of a coming-of-age tale, dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics, and the struggle of high school and finding your voice all woven into a slamming tapestry of sound and laced with humor.
 
The cast didn’t disappoint, either.
 

I was absolutely astonished that Metal Lords was the breakout role for Adrian Greensmith, who plays the role of Hunter. This was one hell of a debut and I hope he keeps up this impressive level of work. Isis Hainsworth (A Midsummer Night's Dream, Emma., Misbehaviour) really captured my attention with her performance as well. Jaeden Martell (The Book of Henry, Knives Out, Defending Jacob) was a solid choice and captured the heart of Metal Lords’ essence with his journey.
 
Oh, and then there’s Joe Manganiello (Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, Archenemy, Koati). His scenes were more than just a cameo from a trendy actor that could fit the intimidating character. Metal Lords capitalized on his wry humor to drive home its message. Metal-loving kids aren’t fucked up just because they like noisy music. There’s more to that but I don’t want to give away spoilers.
 
Hats off to the production team as a whole, seriously. I loved the care that was put into everything. Even the posters on the wall were epic. Costuming was on point. There were so many nuances that helped this flick hit all the right notes.
 
Just keep in mind that while this story does focus on the teenage experience, there are bits that might make it problematic for younger audiences - primarily the language content. That’s really the only overtly explicit element.
 
I can’t wait to watch Metal Lords again with my family. (My husband is a bigger metalhead than I am.) I am certainly not regretting listing this on my personal Top 20 Movies Coming Out in April - I just wish I'd listed it higher than #12.
 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 61%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 83%
Metascore – 57%
Metacritic User Score – 7.1
IMDB Score – 6.8/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 4.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 4.5/5
 
Movie Trailer:

The Spine of Night (2022)

Streaming Service: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: The Spine of Night (2022)
Genre: Animation, Action, Adventure
Length: 93 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Gorgonaut, Reno Productions, Koch Films, Velvet Spoon, Wild Duck Productions, Freaks On, RLJE Films, Shudder
Directors: Philip Gelatt, Morgan Galen Kingr
Writers: Philip Gelatt, Morgan Galen King
Actors: Richard E. Grant, Lucy Lawless, Patton Oswalt, Betty Gabriel, Joe Manganiello, Patrick Breen, Larry Fessenden, Jason Gore, Maggie Lakis, Tom Lipinski, Nina Lisandrello, Rob McClure, Malcolm Mills, Abigail Savage, Jordan Douglas Smith
 
IMDb Blurb: Ultra-violent, epic fantasy set in a land of magic follows heroes from different eras and cultures battling against a malevolent force.

 
Cat’s Point of View:
The Spine of Night was both a surprising delight and grisly spectacle that has seared itself into my mind forever.
 
That being said, I’m afraid this movie will suffer from a very niche target audience. I happen to wholeheartedly live in their demographic, though. Before I get into why I adored this film, I do need to provide a disclaimer – which ties in with why I’m afraid The Spine of Night might struggle a bit.
 
While animated, The Spine of Night is absolutely not suitable for children whatsoever. Hard no. This is not a ‘cartoon.’ Aside from the generic full frontal nudity of male and female characters alike, it was a bloody gore-fest of violence. 

We’re talking skull-splitting, evisceration, and immolation in grand animated glory. This has to be one of the most brutal things I have ever experienced. But hey, there’s zero sex involved with The Spine of Night. The nakedness of characters is only a backdrop. That’s just how they culturally dressed (or didn’t, as the case may be). Honestly, though, if you’re watching people being cleaved in half and disemboweled, a few nondescript bits of anatomical pieces bobbing around on screen shouldn’t be an issue. I digress…

 
Now that’s out of the way, let’s get into the good stuff.
 
My primary concern for The Spine of Night was the fact that it was pitched as an anthology. As I mentioned in the March 2022 Top 20 article, my relationship with that particular film framework is a bit strained. It left me a little guarded with a hint of trepidation for The Spine of Night. I was so excited after the trailer that I was dreading something like that messing the experience up for me.
 
The good news is that I hardly noticed. If this was supposed to be an anthology, it is the most seamless one I’ve ever seen. The Spine of Night flowed smoothly through its story, which was mostly told through flashbacks. Speaking of flashing back, I was hit with all sorts of nostalgia because this felt so much like Heavy Metal (1981). This sort of narrative could have even been in the same universe with the story arc from that classic.

 
Other than some bits of the ultra-violence, the only thing that remotely put me off even a little was the animation style, itself. I’m not the biggest fan of the rotoscope style, in this fashion. The Spine of Night made it work, however. The overall production was simply gorgeous. The contrast between the characters and the breathtaking backgrounds was interesting more often than distracting.
 
The story made my sword and sorcery fantasy-loving heart happy.
 
Out of all the streaming services available, Shudder is the perfect place for The Spine of Night to call home. You’ll be able to catch it there as a Shudder Exclusive starting Thursday, March 24^th.

 
Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 76%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 62%
Metascore – 57%
Metacritic User Score – 7.6/10
IMDB Score – 6.2/10
 
Trust the Dice: Parental Advisory Rating – R (borderline NC-17)
 
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 4/5
 
Movie Trailer:

'Tis the Season - The Advent Calendar (2021)

Streaming Service: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: The Advent Calendar (2021)
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 104 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Sombrero Films, Siddhi Films, Frakas Productions, Zed, Universal Pictures Video, Cinécap 3, Sofica Manon 10, Palatine Etoile 17, Canal+, Ciné+, Centre national du cinéma et de l'image animée (CNC), Radio Télévision Belge Francophone (RTBF), VOO, BE TV, Centre du Cinéma et de l'Audiovisuel de la Fédération Wallonie-Bruxelles, Tax Shelter du Gouvernement Fédéral Belge, Casa Kafka Pictures Movie Tax Shelter Empowered by Belfius, Région de Bruxelles-Capitale, Alba Films, Splendid Film, Shudder
Director: Patrick Ridremont
Writer: Patrick Ridremont
Actors: Eugénie Derouand, Honorine Magnier, Clément Olivieri, Janis Abrikh, Cyril Garnier, Vladimir Perrin, Fabien Jegoudez, Jérôme Paquatte, Laura Presgurvic
 
Blurb from IMDb: Eva, an ex-dancer, is now living in a wheelchair, unable to walk. when her friend Sophie gives her an old wooden antique advent calendar before Christmas, she realizes each window contains a surprise that triggers repercussions in real life: some of them good, but most of them bad - Now Eva will have to choose between getting rid of the calendar or walking again - even if it causes death around her.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
I cannot express how happy I am that we’re not starting our ‘Tis the Season event with something from Hallmark or Lifetime. I’m prepared to watch the big city girl leave it all behind and learn the magic of Christmas from the plaid-clad farm-boy, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to it.
 
Let’s be honest here. I’m not the biggest fan of French cinema. We’ve reviewed a few projects from France, and there haven’t been many of those that have spoken to me. There’s a cultural gap that I have trouble bridging. I don’t entirely understand what puts me off about them, but there is definitely something.
 
That’s not to say French movies are objectively bad. It’s a very personal choice. Cat tends to loves them. Unfortunately, she’s sick this week.
 
It says a lot that, despite my usual preferences, that I found this movie awesome.
 
I lost myself in it. Forgot that I was reading the subtitles, even. I did remember once in a while when something written appeared on screen, though. There were no translations for those bits and I had to pause to look them up. Every time that happened, I did get sucked out a little, but that’s more on Shudder than it is on the actual film.

The Advent Calendar mixes the truth or dare sub-genre with a dash of ‘be careful what you wish for’ and hands in something more unique than you’d expect. It even highlights some Christmas magic.
 
What I really enjoyed about The Advent Calendar was that it relied so little on jump-scares. After viewing the trailer, I was certain it was going to be revolving around your basic jump-scare tactics. Instead, it’s super tense. You go on this journey with the main character as she fights to fulfill a ton of orders from some mystical box, and it winds up working.
 
I need to add that there are some very triggering scenes. In a film like this you expect blood and sacrifice, but there are also more sensitive situations explored in relatively graphic ways. I do believe it works in the story, but not everyone will have the ability to sit through it.
 
If you’re looking for something to watch, and you are just as sick of the Hallmark/Lifetime holiday variety as I am, this is a wonderful start.
 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 71%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – None
Metascore – 51%
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score – 6.5/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 4/5
 
Trust-the-Dice’s Parental Advisory Rating: R
 
Movie Trailer: