Killer Countdown - 6-Headed Shark Attack (2018)

 

 

Streaming Service: Amazon Prime Video

Movie Name/Year: 6-Headed Shark Attack (2018)

Genre: Action, Horror, Comedy, Sci-Fi

Length: 1h 26min

Rating: TV-14

Director: Mark Atkins

Writers: Koichi Petetsky, Mark Atkins

Actors: Brandon Auret, Thandi Sebe, Cord Newman, Naima Sebe, Tapiwa Musvosvi, Chris Fisher, Meghan Oberholzer, Jonathan Pienaar, Nikita Faber, Caitlin Harty, Charlie Keegan, Jessica Cloete, Marie Cavanna, Paul Gardyne, Wilco Wilkens

 

IMDb Blurb: Attendees of a marriage boot camp on a remote island have to fight a 6-headed shark that attacks the beach.

 

 

Selina’s Point of View:

First of all, Amazon Prime Video made me watch SEVEN ads before starting 6-Headed Shark Attack. SEVEN. That is excessive. Also, the movie is definitely not worth that many. I wouldn’t even watch that many in a row for most of my favorite films. 

That’s all besides the point, and more my review of Amazon Prime Video. Now, on to 6-Headed Shark Attack.

Honestly, I didn’t hate the start of it. At least the start of the part with the main cast. We see the couples starting a marriage-strengthening activity and some tension building. In that moment it seemed like the acting might not be all that rough. It wasn’t the most amazing story start, but it was certainly better than I expected from the many-headed shark attack series. I even wrote in my notes: “ok acting?” 

 

That feeling didn’t last long, though. Soon enough, it devolved into exactly what I thought I’d be getting.

The story took a couple of minor interesting turns, but most of it was about as formulaic as it could get, and everyone involved took the whole movie so seriously. 

Movies that get the “so bad, it’s good” label get it because the people involved know exactly what they’re part of and have fun with it. The people involved in 6-Headed Shark Attack seemed to think they were making the next Jaws (1975). 

All that said, it wasn’t the worst of the series. I wouldn’t immediately run to shut it off if someone threw it on during Shark Week or Halloween, it just wouldn’t be me throwing it on. 

 

 

 

Cat’s Point of View:

I will admit that when we landed on 6-Headed Shark Attack as our #6 in this month's Killer Countdown, I groaned a bit... okay, a lot. I might have grumbled, even. I instantly had a reasonable expectation for this movie that I wasn't entirely thrilled about. I knew right away that this was going to either be a golden “so bad, it's good” moment for B-movies or it was going to be a cringeworthy shipwreck of sharksploitation. We've seen the multi-headed shark flicks before, but this one has more than the others. I don't remember being all that impressed with this film's predecessors.

 

Another major factor on my internal balance sheet for my anticipation of 6-Headed Shark Attack was that The Asylum made this movie. We have a bit of a love/loathe relationship with that particular production company. On the one hand, they've delivered B-movie golden classics like the Sharknado (2013) franchise. They've also produced well-received series' such as Black Summer (2019-2021). Unfortunately, they're most well-known for offerings such as Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark (2014) and Attack of the Meth Gator (2023).

 

The Sharknado movies captured a bit of that proverbial lightning in a bottle, though. Anything that crazy and cobbled together doesn't work without the iconic nostalgia-driven cast and epic cameos. Unfortunately, for 6-Headed Shark Attack, lightning didn't strike twice... for the 6^th time.

 

I promise that I really did try to give this movie a fair chance. I always go in with my optimism on high and as blank a slate as I can when I watch a film for review. Many people worked really hard to put each production together, after all. It feels disrespectful to instantly write something off or outright trash it, even if it falls short of basic expectations.

 

 

What's the verdict on the movie with the slogan “Don't Mix with the Six!” on its poster? It was better than I originally feared.

 

The premise of this star-shaped monstrosity with fins and teeth was just bonkers. There was very little character development, yet they were each well enough within their cliché archetypes that it wasn't entirely necessary for the purposes of this movie. The setting was well-used and generally added to the production value. They found an interesting location for this one, landscape-wise. The special effects were a mixed bag of surprisingly decent and laughably bad. The comedic elements were groan-worthy, and the plot was generally predictable.

 

What surprised me was that the cast actually... well, for the most part... pulled this off without adding the acting to the list of things that needed to be corrected. Honestly, 6-Headed Shark Attack struck gold when they brought Brandon Auret (Tremors 5: Bloodlines, Rogue, Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire) on board. He's been in supporting roles and background characters in enough reasonably known movies that he's got a subtle recognizable factor – but Auret also sold his character. I went on a little emotional journey with him.

 

I didn't hate it.

 

6-Headed Shark Attack was a TV movie made for the Syfy Channel, and it plays out exactly how their schlocky B-movies generally do. This isn't one to take seriously at all – however, if you're looking for something fun in the background to turn into a drinking game or something like that (take a shot for every Sharksploitation film trope), this might be a great candidate. (Just maybe set yourself some limits so you don't end up with alcohol poisoning, and please have a designated driver on hand.)

 

 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score –30%

Metascore – None

Metacritic User Score – None

IMDB Score – 2.8/10

 

Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 2.5/5

Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 2.5/5

 

Movie Trailer:

Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

 

 

Streaming Service: MAX 

Movie Name/Year: Meg 2: The Trench (2023) 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi 

Length:  1h 56min 

Rating: PG-13 

Director: Ben Wheatley 

Writers: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Dean Georgaris, Steve Alten 

Actors: Jason Statham, Jing Wu, Shuya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Skyler Samuels, Melissanthi Mahut, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar, Felix Mayr, Sienna Guillory 

 

IMDb Blurb: A research team encounters multiple threats while exploring the depths of the ocean, including a malevolent mining operation. 

 

 

Cat’s Point of View: 

As with The Meg (2018), I was eagerly anticipating the release of Meg 2: The Trench. My daughter and I were quick to watch it as soon as we could, and we weren’t disappointed.

 

There was a slight change in tone with the sequel, but that was to be expected. A few of the core initial cast did return to reprise their roles, and we were introduced to new characters – some of which may remain moving forward (hopefully). Cliff Curtis’s (Doctor Sleep, Reminiscence, Avatar: The Way of Water) character, Mac, remained mostly the same as a steadfast anchor for the meg surviving crew; while others reappeared with significant character progression.

 

 

I love how Jason Statham (Mechanic: Resurrection, Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre, The Beekeeper) and Shuya Sophia Cai' (Somewhere Only We Know, The Meg, Mr. Corman) relationship evolved in the passage of time since the first movie. Jonas and Meiying’s interactions are at the very heart of these movies and are a font of giggles, smiles, and worry while I watch their treacherous escapades.

 

I mentioned in my review of The Meg that it had given a great starting point, as well, for Page Kennedy’s (Rhett and Link's Buddy System, Snowfall, The Upshaws) character, DJ. While he might be seen somewhat as the comic relief of the group, he’s definitely not just thrown in the story for kicks. His character shows an actual arc of development from the experiences he survived in the first movie.

 

 

We also got introduced to some new characters, but most notably joining the central team was action veteran Jing Wu (Iron Man 3, The Wandering Earth, Ride On) as Jiyuming Zhang. His brilliant, yet somehow still naïve optimism is a driving force for quite a lot of the plot elements of this sequel – both involving the megs and the tangential chaos that once more emerges from what was supposed to be simple scientific expeditions in the deep.

 

The action  in Meg 2: The Trench remained on point (with Statham still performing pretty much all of his own stunts) and the effects didn’t disappoint. There was even a hilarious call-back Easter Egg referencing the first movie, as well as a very clear nod to Jurassic Park (1993) that I caught. (Since I have yet to read the books the movies have been adapted from, I couldn’t tell you whether or not this was an element of the production or if it was in the novels, also. I can, however, tell you that author Steve Alten’s meg series was published after Michael Chrichton’s dinoasaur novels and their original movie adaptations were released.)

 

 

The only factor that even remotely nags at me about this franchise is that it has lost a little bit of the terror involved with a creature feature horror flick by sticking to its PG-13 guns. There just isn’t enough carnage on the screen for what you’d expect from such a mammoth monster… or monsters, as the case may be, on the loose.  Even so, it’s still a lot of fun to watch and I remain hopeful that more movies in this franchise keep getting the green light. As I mentioned before, there are many books within Alten’s series that they can draw from, after all.

 

As of the time I’ve written this article, there is still no official word on whether or not there will be a third movie in this series. My appendages are still crossed and I hope you’ll give Meg 2: The Trench a chance if you’re a fan of this genre.

 

 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 27% 

Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 74% 

Metascore –  40% 

Metacritic User Score – 4.8/10 

IMDB Score – 5.0/10 

 

Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 4.5/5

 

 Movie Trailer:

 

Great White (2021)

Streaming Service: Shudder

Movie Name/Year: Great White (2021)
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 91 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Thrills & Spills, Altitude Media Group, Chop Shop Post, Cornerstone Pictures, Filmology Finance, Piccadilly Pictures, ProdigyMovies, Truth or Dare, Golden Village Pictures, Just Entertainment, RLJE Films, A Contracorriente Films, EuroVideo, Synapse, Shudder
Director: Martin Wilson
Writers: Michael Boughen
Actors: Aaron Jakubenko, Jason Wilder, Kate Jaggard, Katrina Bowden, Kimie Tsukakoshi, Patrick Atchison, Tatjana Marjanovic, Te Kohe Tuhaka, Tim Kano
 
IMDb Blurb: A fun filled flight to a remote atoll turns into a nightmare for five passengers when their seaplane is destroyed in a freak accident and they are trapped on a raft, 100 miles from shore with man-eating sharks lurking beneath the surface.

 
Cat’s Point of View:
Great White originally came to our attention while working on our Top 20 Movies Coming Out in July 2021 article. It made my list at #20. This seemed right at home in the summer blockbuster season and just in time for the annual shark-centric content shown on both Nat Geo and Discovery Channels. 
 
The trailer for Great White was well done and gave me a sense of the drama and thrills in store. It didn’t try to promise anything sensational that the actual movie couldn’t deliver. That’s a huge pet peeve of mine. If it’s in the trailer, an audience will expect to see it. I am still irked, to this day, about a scene in the original trailer for Twister (1996) that wasn’t in the actual film. It was a gotcha moment meant to jump-scare the audience and draw them into the theater, but apparently was left on the cutting room floor when it came to the final edit. I digress… The point is, what the trailer offers, the production delivers.

 
There were a few points that made Great White stand out to me over the usual shark movie tropes. It’s not often you see a shark vs. plane scenario that’s realistic. We’re not talking Air Jaws (2001) type action or anything as corny as that. It was a well-thought moment within the story that made sense, given the situation.
 
Another tidbit that grabbed my attention was the fact that Great White was being handled by the same Executive Producers as 47 Meters Down (2017). That was a fantastic shark horror-thriller full of dread and stellar shark action. It gave me hope that we’d see mostly accurate depictions of the massive sea predators. I’m happy to relate that this was generally the case. There were a few moments that the sharks made sounds that the actual live animals simply do not make, but it didn’t take away from my enjoyment of the moment or the film.

 
The production for Great White got a lot of bang for their effects bucks. I believed the sharks on the screen. They felt a natural part of the scenery and interacted with their environment. No cheesy effects here, folks! I particularly appreciated how the different views provided insight into the sharks vs the human castaways – whether by aerial or underwater shots.
 
Great White’s cast was firing on all cylinders. There were some dramatic nuances that layered into the story beyond the whole ‘oh no we’re stranded and being hunted by sharks’ plot points. Without that extra bit of character development, it would have made it harder to get through the lulls in activity. Critics seem to be beating Great White up over said lulls, saying that it made it boring. I have to disagree. While there wasn’t a lot of action through some scenes, the tension remained high because when you couldn’t see the shark, you didn’t know when it would strike. It highlighted the natures of the humans and how they dealt with the crisis and each other. Everyone gave a really solid performance.
 
All told, Great White might not be the most innovative or flashiest shark movie of all time, but it was entertaining and definitely worth the watch if you have a Shudder subscription.
 
Great White premieres on Shudder November 11^th, 2021. 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score –42%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score –20%
Metascore –45%
Metacritic User Score – 4.3/10
IMDB Score – 4.1/10
 
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 3/5
 
Trust the Dice: Parental Advisory Rating – R
 
Movie Trailer:

Sharkenstein (2016)

 

Streaming Services: Amazon Prime, VUDU, Tubi
Movie Name/Year: Sharkenstein (2016)
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Length: 85 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Wild Eye Releasing
Director: Mark Polonia
Writers: J.K. Farlew
Actors: Greta Volkova, Ken Van Sant, Titus Himmelberger, James Carolus, Jeff Kirkendall, Yolie Canales, Bruce Applegate, Kathryn Sue Young, Nathan McNamara, Todd Carpenter, Christopher Beacom, Chyenne Bostwick, Adam Murtland, Austin Dragovich, Cody Getz, Kline Kaufer, Brian Rezek
 
Blurb from IMDb: Sixty years after the end of World War II, a small ocean town is plagued by a blood-thirsty creature that was built and reanimated by using the parts of the greatest sea-killers: the Sharkenstein monster.

 
Selina’s Point of View:

It’s pretty rare that something comes in below expectations when I already don’t expect much.
 
With a title like Sharkenstein, you can pretty much guess what I thought it would be. I knew the highest possible expectations were for something ‘so bad it’s good’, but the visual on the Amazon page guaranteed I knew it wouldn’t meet even that standard.
 
What I got fell below ‘bad’, though.
 
It had graphics that looked like they were made in Paint, a ridiculous plot, and accents that make any other movie accent look phenomenal by comparison. It was one of those perfect storms of crap that could have equaled out to something if there’d been any jokes.

Unfortunately, it took itself SO seriously.

It felt like they thought they were making a serious Jaws-like film. The acting and script were super campy, but there were no jokes. None of it was funny. Any laughter I had was definitely AT the creative team and not with them.
 
Even the Asylum puts out better quality trash than this.
 
As bad as it was, though, Psychotic! (2016) Was still worse… so it won’t be getting the rare and dreaded zero rating from me.

Cat’s Point of View:

When we’re set to watch a crazy B-movie, I really try not to have high expectations. Scratch that. I try not to have many expectations. I hold out hope that the film will at least be entertaining. I cling to the fervent wish that there will be something that elevates the production above its humble shoestring budget limitations. 

With a title like Sharkenstein, I figured that the effects might be a little sketchy but it should be good for at least a few laughs. 

Not only did I not laugh, I almost wanted to cry because I felt obligated to watch the whole excruciating thing. 

I practically rooted for the shark to win, hoping that it would bring the whole travesty to an end. None of the protagonists were likable. There were plot holes big enough to sail the Titanic through. The dialogue was atrocious. Everything was awkward. 

Could someone explain why that sideways hat was even a thing? Were the main trio of characters supposed to be teens? They were referred to as ‘kids’ by the salty ‘old’ harbor-master. Why for the love of Bob were they all middle-aged actors? The female lead was whiny and had no spine. Further, there was an utter lack of wit and humor. 

My advice for anyone deciding to watch this movie is simple. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Unless you want to just experience how bad it is first hand, there’s nothing but disappointment and a waste of time waiting for you with this film. 

  

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 9%
Metascore –  None
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score – 2.1/10
 
Trust the Dice: Parental Advisory Rating – PG-13
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 1/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 0/5
 
Movie Trailer:

Santa Jaws (2018) - 'Tis the Season

Streaming Services: Amazon Prime Video, FuboTV, Hoopla, DirecTV, Syfy
Movie Name/Year: Santa Jaws (2018)
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Length: 88 minutes
Rating: TV-PG
Production/Distribution: Active Entertainment, Syfy
Director: Misty Talley
Writer: Jake Kiernan
Actors: Reid Miller, Courtney Lauren Cummings, Jim Klock, Carrie Lazar, Arthur Marroquin, Miles Doleac, Haviland Stillwell, Hawn Tran, Scott Allen Perry, Ritchie Montgomery, Lindsey Michelle, Creek Wilson, Sherri Eakin, Dylan Westfall, Danny Cosmo
 
Blurb from IMDb: Trying to survive the family Christmas, Cody makes a wish to be alone, which ends up backfiring when a shark manifests and kills his entire family.
 

Selina’s Point of View:
This was bound to make an appearance on Trust the Dice eventually. The only reason it didn’t happen sooner is because I didn’t know about it before a couple of months ago. I figured it would be a great movie to watch in December to break up the rom-com monotony. Of course, I also figured it would be a super-typical creature feature.
 
It was not.
 
Santa Jaws is what you get when you take a corny, live-action, Disney Channel movie and give it to a creative team that specializes in creature features and Christmas movies. Then, just have it produced by Syfy.
 
It really took me by surprise. It had everything I loved from all the genres it meshed together. The teen main character took charge and learned a lesson. Family was shown as important and came together. The creature in question was ridiculous and the script was hilarious in a so-bad-it’s-good kind of way.
 

I really just enjoyed it a lot more than I should have.
 
I hunkered down for some serious Asylum bullshit and wound up with a charming B-movie creature flick.
 
I had a great time.
 
Santa Jaws knew what it was and leaned into it. It never tried to make the audience buy any more than it had to offer. It’s not deep, it’s not reinventing the wheel, and it’s not going to be pulling in any of the high-class, stick-up-their-ass, critics. It will, however, be shown during all my holiday marathons.
 
Also, “Ho ho ho, you son of a fish!” is right up there with “Meow, Bitch!” – from Zombie Apocalypse (2011) – as one of my favorite lines from a B-movie ever.
 

Cat’s Point of View:
When you have a movie title like Santa Jaws, it almost guarantees groans and eye-rolls. You just know it’s going to be a B-movie, and quite possibly bad. The question always remains, however, whether or not it falls into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category or the dreaded ‘simply awful.’
 
To be honest, Santa Jaws fell somewhere in the middle for me. It’s bad. You really can’t get around that. It does have a few redeeming qualities, though.
 
I’ll start with the positives.
 
This won’t necessarily be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m a lover of puns and dad jokes.This movie is loaded with them from opening credits to final scene. Zingers such as “you better watch out, you better not die,” are par for the course in this holiday horror-comedy.
 
Another item in my plus column is the special effects. Let me be clear that it’s the shark I’m talking about. Some of the practical effects, such as props, were absolutely abysmal – such as weapons that were clearly plastic. Santa Jaws, herself, was actually fairly well rendered.
 

There’s a decently thought-out story behind the red-hat-wearing beast and the way it targets one specific family amongst its opportunistic chomping. That element of the 1975 movie, this film’s namesake, is clear.
 
I start running out of things to appreciate, however. I can’t really praise the acting – though, some may have been doing the best they could within the parameters of the direction and writing. Everything was fairly predictable along the ‘adults are dumb, so it’s up to us kids’ recipe, as well.
 
Now don’t get me wrong – while this movie definitely won’t be an award contender, it’s actually the perfect bit of mind-numbing fluff for this year’s Holiday Season. There’s too much serious stuff going on right now, and most of us are in need of some relaxing escapism more than ever.
 
If you could set aside the things that make this movie absolutely horrible, and focus on the lighter elements of this dark tale, then this movie might actually be an enjoyable experience. Besides, if you’re sick of Hallmark rom-coms and all the saccharine smarmy productions that flood screens and TV channels this time of year, this is a decent selection to provide a welcome intermission.
 
If horrible holiday puns and cringe-worthy family interaction makes you want to flip tables, however, then maybe go fishing for a good title elsewhere.
 

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 56%
Metascore – None
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score – 3.8/10
 
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 4/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 2/5
 
Movie Trailer: