Number Rolled: 54
Movie Name/Year: The
Package (2018)
Tagline: Friendship
is just the tip.
Genre: Comedy
Length: 94
minutes
Rating: TV-MA
Production Companies:
Campfire, Netflix Studios, Red Hour Films
Producer: Blake
Anderson, Adam Devine, Ross M. Dinerstein, Colin Frederick, Ross Girard, Jamie
Goehring, Joel Henry, Christian Hoffman, Anders Holm, Kevin Leeson, Rob Lycar, Kyle
Newacheck, Haroon Saleem, Ben Stiller, Jake Szymanski, Michael J. Urann, Nicholas
Weinstock, Shawn Williamson
Director: Jake
Szymanski
Writer: Kevin
Burrows, Matt Mider
Actors: Daniel
Doheny, Geraldine Viswanathan, Sadie Calvano, Luke Spencer Roberts, Eduardo
Franco, Michael Eklund, Gary Jones, Alexander Calvert, Sugar Lyn Beard, Blake
Anderson, Chance Hurstfield, Kevan Kase
Blurb from Netflix:
After their buddy suffers an unfortunately accident during spring break, four pals
risk everything -- including their dignity -- to make him whole again.
Selina’s Point of View:
Wow.
I think my brain melted while I was watching that film. It
was awful.
I mean, the blurb itself prepares you for some weird shit,
but it’s not just weird. It’s also incredibly lazy. Whatever you think is the
dumbest joke that can be made with the least amount of effort – this film will
make it.
On top of that, none of the characters were likeable and
there wasn’t a single moment in the plot where I felt like I wanted to be
watching the movie. Not to mention, I’m almost positive someone fucked up on
the rating for it.
It should have been more than just for mature audiences.
There was actual porn shown within the first ten minutes. If the MPAA would just
acknowledge that Netflix makes movies and not just TV projects, this would have
gotten the higher parental advisory rating it deserved… and then I wouldn’t
have had to watch it.
In the interest of trying hard to find something good about The Package, I’ll say I kind of liked
Sadie Calvano (Mom, The Perfect Daughter,
Village People). She was much better than the movie deserved.
I would not recommend this film.
To anyone. Ever.
Cat’s Point of View:
Wow.
That’s really the first thing that
comes to mind to say about The Package
because I think my brain just fell out of my head and bounced on the floor a
few times.
It’s not so much a ‘wow, what an
amazing movie’ thing; but more like ‘wow, I just don’t know what to say after
that’ type of thing. I’ll give it a shot.
Inappropriate, raunchy, and
cringe-worthy are three descriptions that fit this movie; but I would be remiss
if I didn’t add hilarious. I almost didn’t want to laugh,
though I found I couldn’t help it. I think the whole lookie-loo instinct that
we all share plays a part here. We know it’s going to be bad, but we can’t look
away.
I can imagine that this film might
be a bit hard to watch for a guy – given the subject matter. I had some serious
cringing going on, and I decidedly lack the physiology that makes Lorena
Bobbitt a terrifying person.
Beneath all that was a story about
awkward adolescence and friendship. The driving factor of this plot that brings
with it the cringe-comedy is what transcends the ‘been there done that’ which
would otherwise be present.
I can’t say that I’ve seen THIS
before, certainly.
All the same, I’m afraid this is a
one-and-done for me. I can’t say that I have the desire to watch this one ever
again; however, it was entertaining. I don’t think I’d steer anyone away from
this movie, but I’d give a heaping and heavy disclaimer before telling anyone
to go for it. Trust the ‘Mature Audiences’ rating on this, ok?
Languages
Speech Available:
English, French, German, Italian, Spanish
Subtitles Available:
English, French, Spanish, Simplified Chinese, Traditional Chinese
Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 50%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 61%
Metascore - 68/100
Metacritic User Score – 6.6/10
IMDB Score – 5.5/10
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 1.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating
– 2.5/5
Movie Trailer:
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