House of 9 (2005)

Number Rolled: 7

Movie Name/Year: House of 9 (2005)

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Length: 90 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Steven R. Monroe

Writer: Philippe Vidal

Actors: Dennis Hopper, Kelly Brook, Hippolyte Girardot, Susie Amy, Peter Capaldi, Ashley Walters, Julienne Davis, Raffaello Degruttola

Epic…… fail. There really is no other way to describe this one. Netflix describes it as a mix of Saw and Agatha Christie. And I can see it! It’s Saw without the action and Agatha Christie without the storyline. It was 90 minutes of sitting in a waiting room at the doctor’s office. On the bright side, I’ll get to bed early enough to not be tired at work tomorrow.

Granted, my hopes were way too high on this one. A Saw movie created with Dennis Hopper? Oh, hell yeah, right? Not at all. This movie made me want to go back in time and ask him what the hell he was doing. I was unfamiliar with the rest of the actors, but I couldn’t help thinking to myself the entire time about how strange the shape of the cop’s head was; mainly because it was the most interesting part of the movie.

My advice is not to bother with this particular film. The movie world would be better off without it.

Overall Opinion – 1/5