Tremors 2: Aftershocks (1995)

Number Rolled: 33

Movie Name/Year: Tremors 2: Aftershocks (1995)

Genre: Horror

Length: 99 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: S. S. Wilson

Writer: Brent Maddock, S. S. Wilson, Ron Underwood

Actors: Fred Ward, Christopher Gartin, Helen Shaver, Michael Gross, Marcelo Tubert, Marco Hernandez, Jose Ramon Rosario, Thomas Rosales Jr.

After a great deal of convincing, Earl joins a newbie, Grady, in Mexico to go Graboid hunting. In the end, $50,000 per kill was too much of a deal to pass up. While there, Earl begins to remember exactly why he didn’t want to help out to begin with.

Just like the first movie of this series, “Tremors 2: Aftershocks” was a lot of cheesy fun. The movie stands as proof that a creature feature doesn’t have to have an overkill of special effects in order to be good. Like the first one, the creatures were probably made out of stuff we could find at Lowes, but the story and script were amusing enough that there were no problems holding my interest. It was funny, not so big on the horror, but that’s where the cheese factor comes in.

I wondered if I would miss Kevin Bacon, but I found he really didn’t cross my mind in the slightest. In fact, I believe Fred Ward had a better chemistry with Christopher Gartin and it was good to see that. Gartin was the biggest surprise for me. His acting was much better than one would expect for this kind of movie. I spent a good chunk of the movie, however, trying to remember where I know him from. Even looking at IMDB didn’t help. It looks like he’s done a little of everything.

For a sequel, “Tremors 2: Aftershocks” was great, but it was nowhere near as good as the first one.

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 3.8/5

Overall Opinion – 4/5

Movie Trailer:

The Doom Generation (1995)

Number Rolled: 54

Movie Name/Year: The Doom Generation (1995)

Genre: Independent Movie

Length: 71 minutes

Rating: UR

Director: Gregg Araki

Writer: Gregg Araki

Actors: James Duval, Rose McGowan, Johnathon Schaech, Cress Williams, Dustin Nguyen, Margaret Cho, Lauren Tewes, Christopher Knight, Nicky Katt, Perry Farrell, Amanda Bearse, Parker Posey, Heidi Fleiss

After watching the entirety of this movie I can honestly say I still have no idea what it was about. You would think that even a movie as short as this one was, would make its point clear by the end. The problem is, this movie had no interest in making its meaning clear. In fact, the director seemed to only be interested in throwing more symbolism at us than we get in the Wingdings font.

The entire movie was about drugs, sex, murder and castration; but none of it seemed to actually be linked in any significant way. By the end of the movie I was waiting for that spectacular pay off that had to be coming that would link it all together and… nothing. The ending answered nothing. It was just comprised of even more horribly annoying abstract symbolism and a dab of the subtle political shoved down my throat. I don’t mind movies with a message or a political stance, but if it’s going to be shoved into me, I expect the director to at least buy me dinner first.

There were maybe three two minute long scenes that were bearable – but mostly because I was staring at James Duval trying to remember where I’d seen him before (SLC Punk!). I could have gone my entire life without ever watching this movie.

Overall Opinion – .5/5

Evolver (1995)

Number Rolled: 12

Movie Name/Year: Evolver (1995)

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Length: 91 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Mark Rosman

Writer: Mark Rosman

Actors: Ethan Embry, Cassidy Rae, Nassira Nicola, Chance Quinn, Cindy Pickett, John de Lancie, Paul Dooley, Tim Griffin, Eugene Williams, James Marsh, Eric Fleeks, Ian Gregory, Mary Gordon Murray, Lisa Passero, Jack Kenny, Heath McLaughlin, Tahitia Hicks, Brad Blaisdell, Michael Champion, William H. Macy, Lou Cass

Kyle, a 90’s version of an FPS gamer, has worked hard to get the top score on his favorite game. He gets close enough in order to win an amazing prize: a life-size robot. Evolver, from the game of the same name, is programmed so that he and his friends can play live. What starts out as nothing but fun, turns more and more deadly as the artificial intelligence kicks in.

Most of the 90’s movies dealing with computers and video games amuse me. Writers and directors all seemed to see the technology as something straight out of Futurama. The beginning of this film would lead you to assume that this movie believed the same. Soon enough it reverted back to something more time-line appropriate.

This was a basic recipe, as basic as a movie can get. In short, it was boring. The actors weren’t too bad, but the script left a great deal to be desired and anyone who’s ever seen a movie based off the video game and/or inanimate object come to life recipe, will be able to predict almost every minute of the film. That’s not to say it was all bad. The climax was interesting, if a little disjointed, and I did enjoy them showing that the main character wasn’t exactly infallible at his game.

For the 90’s, it was probably a great film. However, a truly amazing movie can withstand the test of time and this one just didn’t.

Overall Opinion – 2/5

Jumanji (1995)

Number Rolled: 92

Movie Name/Year: Jumanji (1995)

Genre: Children and Family

Length: 104 minutes

Rating: PG

Director: Joe Johnston

Writer: Jonathan Hensleigh, Greg Taylor, Jim Strain, Chris Van Allsburg

Actors: Robin Williams, Jonathan Hyde, Kirsten Dunst, Bradley Pierce, Bonnie Hunt, Bebe Neuwirth, David Alan Grier, Patricia Clarkson, Adam Hann-Byrd, Laura Bell Bundy, James Handy, Gillian Barber

In the 1960’s, Alan, a young boy plagued by a busy father and many bullies, finds a strange game buried in his family’s factory. He brings it home and convinces his friend, Sarah, to play with him. His turn, however, finds him sucked into the game for over twenty years. Only when two children (Judy and Peter) find the game again, and one of them rolls a five, is Alan freed. Unfortunately, they learn they must finish the game in order to undo the harm that was done by starting it.

This movie got very mixed reviews, but I’m on the side that thinks it’s fantastic. It was just over an hour and a half, but I would swear it was shorter. You might think watching people play a board game would be dull (unless you’re a fan of Tabletop with Wil Wheaton, of course) but it’s got a constant flow of story line that keeps it interesting.

I have an advantage for this particular review. Jumanji is a children’s movie so watching it as an adult only gives me a single perspective. However, the first time I saw this, I was around twelve years old. For this reason, I have the unique ability to review this movie from the perspective of a child as well. I remember watching the movie back then. I didn’t quite get the base moral of the story (at least not consciously) but it fed my imagination and kept me glued to the screen even then. As an adult watching one of my childhood favorites, I’m always worried that it’s going to seem different or bad. A lot of the time, that’s exactly what happened. Not with this movie, though. I found that I still enjoyed it just as much and that there were enough nuances for adults to keep me enthralled.

Long story short, I loved this movie in 1995, as a child as much as I do now, in 2013, as an adult. To be honest, I don’t see why it got mixed reviews. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but I don’t think I could come up with a good reason for it to be marked as “bad.”

Also, not-for-nothing, if this game existed, I would play it. I mean, the board game is available on amazon.com, but obviously not with the same effects as the one in the movie. I wouldn’t play it often, but I would definitely play it. As it is, I’m contemplating getting a copy of the mundane version for my collection. Board games are not just for kids! If you think they are, you should really go take a look at the more complex games that are out there now-a-days.

Overall Opinion – 4/5

A Little Princess (1995)

Number Rolled: 33

Movie Name/Year: A Little Princess (1995)

Genre: Children & Family

Length: 97 minutes

Rating: G

Director: Alfonso Cuaron

Writer: Frances Hodgson Burnett, Richard LaGravenese, Elizabeth Chandler

Actors: Liesel Matthews, Eleanor Bron, Liam Cunningham, Rusty Schwimmer, Arthur Malet, Vanessa Lee Chester, Heather DeLoach, Rachael Bella, Camilla Belle, Kelsey Mulrooney

I first saw this movie not too long after it came out. I had some health issues when I was young and couldn’t go out much – so my mother used to buy all the VHS tapes she could and I would watch movies. This became a favorite of mine.

The main character in this movie is a young girl who loses her father and disappears into her rich imagination in order to help her try and keep her spirits up. I related instantly to the character and watching it now, I find I still do. When life gets bad, I always have my fantasy world to fall back on; my imagination to see me through. I get that from my Uncle, the father figure that actually stuck around. Much like him, I’ll never REALLY grow up. 

Keep in mind, before you decide to watch this movie that it IS a tearjerker. Netflix certainly got that right. No movie makes me cry quite as much as this one does. I don’t mean a tear here or there either. I mean snot pouring out of my nose, having to turn the sound up higher because I can’t hear it over my sobbing, type of crying. If you find yourself relating to the main character – it WILL happen.

Overall Opinion – 5/5

Angus (1995)

Number Rolled: 8

Movie Name/Year: Angus (1995)

Genre: Drama

Length: 90 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Patrick Read Johnson

Writer: Chris Crutcher, Jill Gordon

Actors: Charlie Talbert, George C. Scott, Kathy Bates, James Van Der Beek, Rita Moreno, Ariana Richards

I love this movie. I must have said it nine times while watching the movie with my boyfriend and being my normal annoying self. I was 15 when this movie came out and, as a fat kid in high school myself, this movie was like a ray of hope that things really do get better.

Angus is a fat kid with the name of a cow. Insert him into high school with a big-eared dorky best friend, a crush on a cheerleader and a mortal enemy in the head quarterback and you have an instant 80’s movie. True, this movie was a bit too late to be 80’s but it’s better than it sounds. The humor and the dialog was all 90’s.

I think sometimes kids need this kind of movie. They need someone to say, “Listen to these words and live by them, fuck ‘em. Who cares what anybody thinks?” Too often I’ve been in situations where I couldn’t be myself simply because of the people around me. Too often I’ve seen someone not go for what they wanted because it was out of society’s norm or because they thought they were too fat, or too ugly, or too stupid. Movies like this actually show kids that it’s ok to be who they are, and they do it while making you laugh until you can’t breathe. To me, that’s an automatic 5.

Overall Opinion – 5/5

Mortal Kombat: The Movie (1995)

Number Rolled: 58

Movie Name/Year: Mortal Kombat: The Movie (1995)

Genre: Action & Adventure

Length: 101 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Director: Paul Anderson

Writer: Ed Boon, John Tobias, Kevin Droney

Actors: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa

Ok, so I actually saw this movie in the theaters when it came out. I’m not going to judge it by that though, because I saw it before I was a gamer or even comfortable in my nerdality. So to me it was just a movie with play-dough looking blood. Of course I disliked it… and of course the critics disliked it. If even one of those critics who trashed the movie back then had actually PLAYED the game it was based off of, I think things would have been different.

Thinking back, this movie was the first movie based off of a video game (in the US) that even attempted not to suck. What came first? Super Mario Brothers (which I admit I’ve never seen…. It’s on the queue… I was a sonic girl), Double Dragon which I’m not even going to discuss, Street Fighter, which made most people who saw it twitch and then Mortal Kombat.

The point of the matter is, the director of this movie tried to stick to cannon without making it just one fight after another – which is difficult, considering it’s a fighting game. The acting wasn’t terrible and though the graphics don’t stand up to the worst of our movies today, back then it wasn’t bad. Say what you will, but Mortal Kombat paved the way for the video game movies we have today; like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. (Let’s just pretend Bloodrayne doesn’t exist, k?)

I have a few gripes, but any fan of the games would. Also, for some reason, I can’t seem to keep Linden Ashby in my head as Johnny Cage. I keep turning him into Jean-Claude Van Damme. It’s not his fault – he did a fine job – but I just keep doing it. It’s weird.

Overall Opinion – 3/5

Tank Girl (1995)

Number Rolled: 46

Movie Name/Year: Tank Girl (1995)

Genre: Action Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Length: 104 minutes

Rating: R

Director: Rachel Talalay

Writer: Alan Martin, Jamie Hewlett, Tedi Sarafian

Actors: Lori Petty, Ice-T, Naomi Watts, Don Harvey, Jeff Kober, Reg E Cathey, Scott Coffey, Malcolm McDowell, Stacy Linn Ramsower

Following a meteor strike on Earth, the atmosphere is warped to such a degree that there is no more rainfall. All the remaining water on the planet is controlled by one power-hungry corporation, aside from the few people here and there who pirate some. After the corporation forcibly stops the main character’s pirating action and takes her captive, she spends the rest of the movie turning it around on them.

Rebecca aka Tank Girl, the main character played by Lori Petty, is an apocalyptic punk goddess who carries a big gun while riding around in a huge tank and throwing quips at everyone. Add in some genetic experiments, a shy, but tough, fellow prisoner and a ten year old that can kick your ass, and you get this movie. I highly recommend it.

I cannot stress just how much I love this movie. Granted, I’ll watch anything based off a comic, but not all of them prove to be as good as this one. Generally I don’t like movies that include flashes of the comics or video games mixed in with the actual movie, but considering the inherit silliness of this movie, it really works.

It had all the basic necessities of a hero movie. Tragic past/present, overcoming obstacles, etc., but it managed to do it without feeling old and tired. No matter how many times I see this movie, I never get bored with it.

Overall Opinion – 5/5