"We're not critics. We're professional fan-girls." --- This blog is dedicated to movies and the entertainment industry. We use random selection to bring into light the best and worst of streaming films and entertainment news.
Tuesday, January 3, 2023
8 Worst New Movies of 2022
According to: Selina
[Note: These are the worst new movies of the year that
we’ve reviewed on Trust the Dice. If it wasn't reviewed on the site, it's not
eligible.] 8 – Tall Girl 2 Reviewed on: February 23 Genre: Comedy, Drama, Family Rated: TV-PG Length: 1h 37min Selina’s Rating: 2 Cat’s Rating: 2.5
IMDb Blurb: After Jodi Kreyman gains popularity, her
miscommunications start causing rifts with those around her and now she really
needs to 'stand tall'. The first Tall Girl was full-on crap. It would have
been much higher on this list than number 10. So, although Tall Girl 2
was bad, it does show a bit of improvement. I guess. The story is still dumb. The scenes are still ridiculous.
Nothing about it is believable. Except one thing. Tall Girl 2 does work well to visualize anxiety. It
delves into that little voice in your head that says worse stuff about you than
any bully could. It does that really well, actually. I wish it were a better movie, because the parts about
overcoming those negative thoughts was good. 7 – The Bubble Reviewed on: April 6 Genre: Comedy Rated: R Length: 2h 6min Selina’s Rating: 1.5 Cat’s Rating: 3
IMDb Blurb: A group of actors and actresses stuck inside a
pandemic bubble at a hotel attempt to complete a film. The Bubble had a huge amount of potential. It had almost
no advertising before it was released, but it seemed like a meta story that
involved tons of big-name actors making fun of Hollywood. That is exactly the kind
of comedy that I gravitate toward. So, I was excited. The whole film was a mess. The actors phoned everything in,
the pacing was awful, and the jokes simply weren’t funny. I still wonder if Netflix released it as an April Fool’s
joke.
6 – Dark Glasses Reviewed on: October 10 Genre: Horror, Mystery, Thriller Rated: Unrated Length: 1h 26min Selina’s Rating: 1.5 Cat’s Rating: 2.5
IMDb Blurb: Diana, a young woman who lost her sight, finds a
guide in a Chinese boy named Chin. Together they will track down a dangerous
killer through the darkness of Italy. I will admit that I liked the way this movie handled showing
how the main character adapted to being blind. We learned about her options and
the training she went through to be able to navigate her surroundings. That
part was decent. Dark Glasses was a bad film, but it wasn’t out-right
problematic. Really, it was just boring. It’s a shame, because the beginning really pumped me up for
what was coming, and then it just plateaued until the ending. 5 – A Banquet Reviewed on: May 23 Genre: Horror Rated: Unrated Length: 1h 37min Selina’s Rating: 1 Cat’s Rating: 2
IMDb Blurb: A widowed mother is radically tested when her
teenage daughter insists a supernatural experience has left her body in service
to a higher power. Even with the supernatural aspect, A Banquet was just
as exploitative of eating disorders as I worried it would be. On top of that,
it was near impossible to watch. The pacing was so slow that it was like
watching paint dry, except when it’s being down-right offensive. 4 – Brazen Reviewed on: January 26 Genre: Crime, Drama, Mystery Rated: TV-14 Length: 1h 34min Selina’s Rating: 1.5 Cat’s Rating: 2.5
IMDb Blurb: When her sister is killed and her double life as
a webcam performer is revealed, Grace ignores the warnings of a cool-headed
detective and gets involved in the case. If you want awful over-acting and a predictable plot – look no
further than Brazen. I remember being very excited to see Alyssa Milano (Give Me
an A, You Are My Home, Insatiable) in a new legit film. When I finally got
to sit down and watch, though, I couldn’t have been more disappointed. It was
awful. Although it was supposed to be a mystery, there was none.
From the start it was obvious what was going on. The focus also seemed to be
more on the romance than anything else, and there wasn’t enough chemistry to make
that work. It was just a hot mess.
3 – The Long Night Reviewed on: June 27 Genre: Horror Rated: R Length: 1h 31min Selina’s Rating: 1 Cat’s Rating: 2
IMDb Blurb: A devoted couple's quiet weekend takes a bizarre
turn when a nightmarish cult and their maniacal leader come to fulfill an
apocalyptic prophesy. There were no saving graces for The Long Night. It
felt as long as the name implies. The acting was awful and the plot was trope-y.
There wasn’t anything to sink your teeth into.
2 – Carter Reviewed on: August 8 Genre: Action, Thriller Rated: TV-MA Length: 2h 12min Selina’s Rating: 1.5 Cat’s Rating: 1
IMDb Blurb: Thrown straight into a dangerous mission with
none of his memories intact, a man must escape death while trying to figure out
who he is, how he ended up here, and who is the mysterious voice in his ear
calling him "Carter"? The shaky cam involved in Carter was unnecessary. It was
so bad that it could make anyone vomit. Cat couldn’t even watch it in one
sitting. I thought Hardcore Henry (2015) went overboard with
it. Carter made that one seem steady.
1 – Reed’s Point Reviewed on: April 8 Genre: Horror Rated: Unrated Length: 1h 16min Selina’s Rating: 1 Cat’s Rating: 1.5
IMDb Blurb: A vehicle crash in the Pine Barrens leads to a
missing teen which raises conspiracy theories about the infamous Jersey Devil
legend. On the anniversary of the crash, Sarah Franklin, convinced her cousin
Kelsey is alive, goes out to the crash site with Alex, Kelsey's boyfriend, to
investigate. Things go downhill quickly as Sarah and Alex uncover what really
lurks in the woods. Finally, the worst movie of 2022… Reed’s Point. To be fair, I wasn’t expecting Reed’s Point to be
good. I was more hoping that it would fall into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category.
But it didn’t even do that. Just when I thought it had something to offer, it twisted
into an ending so bad that I gave myself a headache rolling my eyes.
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