2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

Number Rolled: 22

Movie Name/Year: 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

Genre: Horror

Length: 87 minutes

Rating: NR

Director: Christopher Ray

Writer: Edward DeRuiter, H. Perry Horton

Actors: Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, Brooke Hogan, Christina Bach, Gerald Webb, David Gallegos, Geoff Ward, Mercedes Young, Shannan Stewart, Tihirah Taliaferro, Michael Dicarluccio, Lauren Vera, Marckenson Charles, Ashley Bissing, Corinne Nobili, Benjamin James, Chase Conner, Anna Jackson, Amber English, Collin Carmouze, Casey King Leslie, Morgan Thompson, Anthony E. Valentin, Alexa Score, Tiffany Score, Joseph Velez, Curtis Belz

Professor Babish and his wife, Dr. Babish, have taken on teaching a semester of college on the water. Along the way, a large creature gets stuck on their boat and draws something even bigger. The 2-headed shark disables the professor’s ship and the class is forced to take refuge on a nearby atoll. However, things get stranger and stranger as the students begin to become aware of the creature stalking them.

From the director of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus comes something even more ridiculous.

Now, where creature features are concerned, you need a little bit of ridiculous to get the point across. In “Vampire Bats,” by director Eric Bross, a real-life species (the vampire bat), is altered in such a way that their feeding habits change. In “Anaconda,” by director Luis Llosa, the real-life species (the anaconda) is utilized as if there were no limit to its growth. In “Jurassic Park,” by director Steven Spielberg, the (once) real-life species (the dinosaur) is brought back to life and introduced to a modern world. All of these movies require a certain amount of disbelief suspension because there is a certain amount of ridiculousness. However, in each of the movies listed the alterations made to the species utilized were minor and explainable in at least a semi-logical way. One could believe that scientists found a way to extra DNA from long dead mosquitoes or that a few snakes have a hormone imbalance that causes them to grow larger. In “2-headed Shark Attack” you’re required to acknowledge this two headed shark without any explanation of where it might have come from or why it’s unusually aggressive as a result. Even Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus attempted to satisfy the curiosity that comes with creature features; the big question “how did this happen?”

Even if the main creature used wasn’t completely off the chart of stupid, the acting was some of the worst I’ve ever seen. I mean, at the very least, these kinds of movies usually boast some of the best female horror-movie screams; this one, not so much. I understand being on a budget, but they probably could have at least found actresses who could do a decent scream.

There were a couple of parts that were bad enough you could laugh at them, but that was about it. It was enough to ensure that the movie wasn’t boring – just terrible.

Overall Opinion – 1/5

The Random Rating: R – for prolonged nudity and strong violence

Movie Trailer: