Monday, July 8, 2013

The ABC’s of Death (2012)

Number Rolled: 88
Movie Name/Year: The ABC’s of Death (2012)
Genre: Horror
Length: 129 minutes
Rating: NR
Director: (in order of film) Nacho Vigalondo, Adrian Garcia Bogliano, Ernesto Diaz Espinoza, Marcel Sarmiento, Angela Bettis, Noboru Iguchi, Andrew Traucki, Thomas Cappelen Malling, Jorge Michel Grau, Yudai Yamaguchi, Anders Morgenthaler, Timo Tjahjanto, Ti West, Banjong Pisanthanakun, Helene Cattet, Simon Rumley, Adam Wingard, Srdjan Spasojevic, Jake West, Lee Hardcastle, Ben Wheatley, Kaare Andrews, Jon Schnepp, Xavier Gens, Jason Eisener, Yoshihiro Nishimura

---------!!Mild Spoilers Below This Line!! ---------

This is not my typical instant queue entry. “The ABC’s of Death” is an anthology featuring the work of twenty six different directors. The directors were each given a letter of the alphabet and told to make a short film based on a word of their choosing belonging to that letter. The short films are titled as follows:

                A – Apocalypse
                B – Bigfoot
                C – Cycle
                D – Dogfight
                E – Exterminate
                F – Fart
                G – Gravity
                H – Hydro-Electric Diffusion
                I – Ingrown
                J – Jidai-geki
                K – Klutz
                L – Libido
                M – Miscarriage
                N – Nuptials
                O – Orgasm
                P – Pressure
                Q – Quack
                R – Removed
                S – Speed
                T – Toilet
                U – Unearthed
                V – Vagitus
                W – WTF?
                X – XXL
                Y – Youngbuck
                Z – Zetsumetsu

There is so much “nope” in this movie, I cannot possibly even describe it all. I had to pause three times to go walk into the other room and cuddle my fiancée because I felt completely unclean. By the time I got to “O” I had actually dragged him out of bed to watch it with me because misery loves company and for about an hour after the movie was over, my face was stuck in a confused/disgusted look that I had to lubricate with a glass of wine to make go away.

I feel as though I need to pop my brain out and soak it in bleach for a couple of days. I can handle disturbing and I love horror films. These movies (most of them) crossed a line into something that makes me need to find some kind of innocence to purify myself with. I’m all about watching a few episodes of Sesame Street right now.

As far as I could tell there were four categories: horrible, WTF, Powerful and funny. Most of the videos fell into the first two. I did, however, enjoy four of them. “H” was a totally “WTF” film, but it was so hilarious that I was fine with that. “Q” was just completely hilarious – almost a palate cleanser. “R” was strange but abstractly powerful. Finally, “X” was so powerful that I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen. Everything else was pretty much crap.

I will never watch this movie again and I will never suggest it to anyone else. I would have given it a lower number, but I really did find the aforementioned four films not just watchable, but good.

Overall Opinion – 1.5/5

P.S. Some of the films are sub-titled, some in English and some have no dialog at all.

No comments:

Post a Comment