Monday, November 19, 2012

The Amityville Haunting (2011)

Number Rolled: 7
Movie Name/Year: The Amityville Haunting (2011)
Genre: Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Rating: NR
Director: Geoff Meed
Writer: Geoff Meed (My sources were conflicting on this information, so the writer listed here may be wrong.)
Actors: Luke Barnett, Casey Campbell, Devin Clark, Jon Gale, Piper Kennedy, Jon Kondelik, Gracie Largent, Tyler Shamy, Amy Van Horne, Jason Williams

I swear I just spent an hour and a half watching bad actors against a backdrop of paint drying.

Admission time. I do not like camera work like that in the Blair Witch Project or this crap. Even if the story was spectacular, it would have likely scored low because I have a problem with movies that throw off my equilibrium enough that I want to vomit five minutes in. Luckily, I’m not being bias here. This movie was HORRIBLE.

Based around a family that moves into a haunted house, this movie spends about an hour and fifteen minutes showing you shaky camera movements that occasionally reveal a shadowy figure but no one notices it. In the last ten minutes it actually becomes a horror film and then it ends with, what I would describe as, the single most hilarious death scene I have EVER seen in my entire life. It’s supposed to be terribly disturbing and frightening, but the actor just kind of flops around like a dead fish for a full minute. The way a six year old would fake death in a play.

I wish I had something good to say about something. About ANYTHING, really. Unfortunately, this movie was pure crap.

Overall Opinion – 1/5

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