Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Stay Out of the F**king Attic (2021)

Streaming Services: Shudder
Movie Name/Year: Stay Out of the F**king Attic (2021)
Genre: Horror
Length: 80 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Top Dead Center Films
Director: Jerren Lauder
Writer: Julie Auerbach, Jesse Federman, Jason Scott Goldberg, Jerren Lauder
Actors: Ryan Francis, Morgan Alexandria, Bryce Fernelius, Michael Flynn, Brynn Hurlburt, Avery Pizzuto
Blurb from IMDb: A group of ex-cons-turned-movers are convinced by their creepy client to pull an all-nighter. As the night progresses, they uncover the horrors that exist inside his old Victorian mansion.

Selina’s Point of View:
Whenever a film tries to turn Josef Mengele into a second-rate horror villain, it pisses me off.
Don’t get me wrong, when he’s portrayed in biographies, or historical pieces, it doesn’t bother me. His very existence is absolutely terrifying. Stories SHOULD be written about him, so that we never forget. I’ve even seen some horror settings doing it well before.
He needs to be shown in the right light, though. Flicks like this do not do that. They turn him into some basic horror boogeyman. It’s bullshit.
In this case, the acting wasn’t even strong enough to make him seem intimidating.
They took an unendingly menacing historical figure, made him less scary, and then put him in a badly written basic-bitch flick. Already, that annoyed me.

The rest wasn’t much better.
All three main characters were written in a ridiculously stereotypical way. The dialogue was forced and unnatural. It felt like it was written by someone who only learned about different races, and ex-cons, by watching flicks like Scary Movie (2000).
I thought it was going to save itself with a message of redemption. I kept waiting for it. Instead, the ending was a nonsensical deviation in tone that felt like it would have fit better in an action zombie film.
The whole thing was a mess from beginning to end, and I can’t bring myself to recommend it to anyone.

Cat’s Point of View:
When a movie has an expletive as bold as the ‘F-Bomb’ in the title, even mildly censored, expectations are immediately set that the experience is going to strive for an edgy and raw feel. Stay Out of the F**king Attic, as a whole, didn’t disappoint.
I connected oddly with this movie. Back in 2018 or so, I helped my daughter’s godmother pack and move her employer’s family household. The scenes of boxes, packing materials, and tape-guns brought me back in time a bit. I related on a whole other level with the protagonists. I found the process interesting to carefully preserve and package all the things, large and small.
Of course, the temptation is always there to be nosy as one proceeds to pack away the minutia of someone else’s life. It takes a good bit of willpower not to peruse the items in more detail rather than simply securing them for transit. It’s a big thing, though, honoring the client’s privacy – and taking care with their belongings. There were some scenes that I was just cringing because of the lack of both principles taking place. I can’t say that this particular situation will be the same for all audiences. It helped pull me into the story further, though.
Human nature being what it is – when someone tells you to not do a thing it’s a monumental temptation to do that very thing you were warned against. In that way, this film is an illustrated scenario for the phrase ‘fuck around and find out.’  Given, this is a rather extreme and far-fetched case – but most horror movies are, right?

If I had to pick something that bothered me about Stay Out of the F**king Attic, it would have to be a few scenes of dialogue. Some interactions just felt a bit stiff. I’m not sure if it was a purposeful decision or if the acting in those segments was just a little stilted. It didn’t take away from the movie as a whole.
Once events started ramping up, I didn’t feel anything askew anymore and pieces started falling into place better. Considering the premise of the movie, I was pleased to find that it was fairly easy to suspend my disbelief regarding the plausibility of what transpired.
I absolutely adored the ending. Not going to give you any hints there.
One thing I can note, however, is that there is a significant amount of body horror within the film, so if that’s the sort of thing that gives you crawly feelings – buckle up.
Shudder has snagged another good one with Stay Out of the F**king Attic. See for yourself on Shudder, March 11.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – None
Metascore – None
Metacritic User Score – None
IMDB Score – None
Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating1/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating3.5/5
Trust-the-Dice’s Parental Advisory Rating: R
Movie Trailer:

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