Friday, March 6, 2020

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Streaming Service: Netflix
Movie Name/Year: Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
Genre: Drama, Horror, Mystery
Length: 93 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Production/Distribution: Queensbury Pictures
Director: Travis Stevens
Writer: Trent Haaga, Paul Johnstone, Ben Parker, Travis Stevens
Actors: C.M. Punk, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Sarah Brooks, Elissa Dowling, Karen Woditsch, Travis Delgado, Marshall Bean, Anish Jethmalani, Bishop Stevens, Tonya Kay, Eileah Pyrzynski, Steve Pavlik, Phil Senjanin

Blurb from IMDb: Don Koch tries to renovate a rundown mansion with a sordid history for his growing family, only to learn that the house has other plans.

Selina’s Point of View:
I really wanted to give this film a shot. Something about people crossing over from other public professions makes me want them to succeed in films even more than normal. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen so many people shrug off wrestling, or other acting-based jobs, as ‘lesser’. I like the idea of people proving them wrong.

Unfortunately, this is not the movie that’s going to prove that at all.

When it comes to the film itself, the story was alright. It had potential. There were parts of it that subverted expectations in a way that could have been interesting. The idea just wasn’t backed up by a decent script.

None of the conversations felt natural. There were very few lines that felt like they could be real. Which made the entire movie that much more difficult to care about.

Behind that was some pretty shoddy acting. As much as I wanted to see C.M. Punk (Rabid, Maron, Clash Time) succeed… he just didn’t. He was wooden and unbelievable. There were a couple of more intense scenes near the end that he excelled at… but the parts where he just had to be the basic husband fixing up a house didn’t work.

So, that’s that. I wouldn’t recommend this film. It felt twice as long as it was and I didn’t come away from it feeling entertained at all.

Cat’s Point of View:
My first reaction to this movie? So much nope. This is one of those horror movies where you wonder if the characters have lived such sheltered lives as to never watch a horror movie or have any sort of knowledge of the paranormal. Of course, if the main figures within a story catch on to what’s going on immediately, I imagine that it would result in a very short cinematic experience.

Girl on the Third Floor has quite a few classic haunted house aspects and does well with building suspense. While several tropes common to ‘scary movies’ were employed and jump-scares abound, I would say that overall the film is fairly successful, even though I can’t seem to shake the feeling that it was missing something. I’m afraid it’s one of those feelings that is hard to quantify, there isn’t any single thing that I can put my finger on, however.

I do have to admit that I’ve been a long-time fan of Phil "C.M. Punk" Brooks (Nerdist: Course of the Force, The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown, Rabid). Of course, most of what I’ve seen of him involves his career in professional wrestling entertainment. Considering his ‘straight edge’ persona, his character in this movie is a bit ironic. I’m excited to see him crossing over to the big screen. I was grinning a bit at the music his character was listening to during the movie, as it reminded me somewhat of his wrestling character’s theme music. I digress.

While I’m generally a fan, I’m not sure that this was the best part for him to showcase his ability.

While this wasn’t the best horror movie I’ve ever seen, I think it will stick with me for a while. It’s some of that ‘nope-factor’ talking. I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to spontaneously pitch this film to anyone, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to steer anyone away from it, either.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 81%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 27%
Metascore – 65/100
Metacritic User Score – 1.9/10
IMDB Score – 4.7/10
CinemaScore – None

Trust the Dice: Selina’s Rating – 1.5/5
Trust the Dice: Cat’s Rating – 2.5/5

Trust-the-Dice’s Parental Advisory Rating: R

Movie Trailer:

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