Friday, September 13, 2013

The Alphabet Killer (2008)

Number Rolled: 43
Movie Name/Year: The Alphabet Killer (2008)
Genre: Thriller
Length: 98 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Rob Schmidt
Writer: Tom Malloy
Actors: Eliza Dushku, Cary Elwes, Timothy Hutton, Michael Ironside, Bill Moseley, Carl Lumbly, Brian Scannell, Larry Hankin, Jack McGee, Melissa Leo, Andrew Fiscella, Rocco Sisto, Tom Noonan, Frank Rossi, Meltem Cumbul, Kristina Jewell, Sarah Anderson, Shawn Michael, Bailey Garno, Peter Mancarella, Martin Donovan, Russell Terlecki, Cholanda Roberts, Cynthia Mace, Aaron Chaney, Manny Siverio, Eva Mancarella

Megan is a well respected investigator. When a girl is killed, she begins looking for the murderer with the odd slaughter signature. As she goes deeper and deeper into the investigation, Megan begins to lose herself in odd hallucinations and manic-depression. Her entire world changes when she attempts to kill herself. She has to fight back from a serious mental illness while trying to hold it together enough to follow the clues left by the killer.

I have more fun at the dentist than I did watching this “thriller.” It was beyond boring, which was upsetting because I usually love three of the actors involved. Eliza Dushku was introduced to me in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and I’ve found her amusing ever since. Cary Elwes was introduced to me in “The Princess Bride” and I had a wicked crush on him for years – still kind of do. Finally, Michael Ironside was introduced to me in “Starship Troopers,” one of my all-time favorite “bad” movies. The combination of these actors is what led me to add this movie to my list. Dushku managed to play her part brilliantly, but with a horrible script and a ridiculous storyline her acting managed not to matter much.

I feel like the writer tried to mix the psychological thriller and horror genres. Normally, those two categories go together like peanut butter and jelly, but this time it didn’t seem to work even a little bit. I had to fight to keep my eyes open as the slow-paced failed thrills plodded along.

What really sucks is that I would have forgiven all of it – the bad story, the horrible script, the utter boredom – if they’d just pulled out an unexpected ending. Even with a rarely used denouement plot, it managed to find a way to be completely predictable and even agitating.

I’d rather watch paint dry.

Overall Opinion – 1/5

P.S. VERY loosely based on the Alphabet Killer. VERY loosely.

Movie Trailer:

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