Monday, March 18, 2013

Snake Island (2002)


Number Rolled: 7
Movie Name/Year: Snake Island (2002)
Genre: Action & Adventure
Length: 97 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Wayne Crawford
Writer: Wayne Crawford, Arthur Payne
Actors: William Katt, Wayne Crawford, Kate Connor, Russel Savadier, Dawn Matthews, Milan Murray, Jason Kennett, Japan Mthembu, Nicola Hanekom, Seth Zweli Zimu, Rohan Coll, Jonathan Taylor, Ben Kruger, Bob Miles, Amo Naude, Philip Moore, Roberto Concina

A group of tourists are on their way to a resort when they must make a pit-stop at a place called Snake Island. Two people on the boat are set to disembark there. A snake falls onto the boat and chaos ensues because no one is smart enough to just get the hell off the boat. The boat is wrecked and the tourists are stranded for what is supposed to be an overnight stay. Seeing as this is a snake movie, you can guess what happened next.

Of course, you can’t guess that it’s not going to happen until halfway into the movie. I’m telling you, it was like watching paint dry. Writing the description bored me so much I took two breaks during that one paragraph. I’ve never been so happy for a movie to end.

Truth is, I like bad movies. Last week, I did a review on “Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus” and gave it a poor review because it was bad. However, you can bet your balls that I was dying laughing throughout most of it. It was one of those movies that was so bad, I couldn’t help but laugh at it. “Snake Island” was so bad that I think my brain stopped working for a couple of minutes.

I think I chuckled twice, but most of the movie was spent trying not to look at the clock and keep an open mind.

Don’t waste your time.

Overall Opinion – .5/5

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