Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I'm Getting Married!

I am getting married on April 3! As a result, I will be taking a short vacation. Normal scheduled posting will return with a "Top 10 Movies to Look Out For in April" on April 9.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Alpha House (2014)


Number Rolled: 12
Movie Name/Year: Alpha House (2014)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 88 minutes
Rating: NR
Production Companies: The Asylum, Broken Films
Executive Producer: David Rimawi
Director: Jacob Cooney
Writer: Jacob Cooney, Brandon Trenz
Actors: Julian Ari, Heather Paige Cohn, Chris O’Brien, Jean Louise O’Sullivan, Sam Aotaki, D.C. Douglas, Anna Beletzki, Eli Bildner, Michael Lewis Foster, Audrey Ellis Fox, Janna VanHeertum, Jacquelina Cardinale, Melvin Gregg, Nina Kate, Jon Kondelik, A.J. Rivera, Mindy Robinson, Grace Roubidoux, Taylor Zakhar, Brant A. McCoy

Alpha House is the raunchiest frat on campus. Their house is always partying; always filled with sex, music and beer. It’s a lot of fun for the people involved, but for a sorority without a house to call its own, they’re a waste of precious space.

From the company that brought you the Sharknado series and Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies comes a movie that’s so terrible it blew “so bad, it’s good” out of the water.

I hope you read that part in the movie trailer guy’s voice. If not, well… the joke wasn’t that funny anyway, you’re not missing anything.

On a serious note, The Asylum is known for doing its best to produce movies that fall into the “so bad, it’s good,” or “bad-good,” category. In the two aforementioned movies, they actually succeed. Unfortunately, the genre of bad-good is a bit difficult to work with and they’re not very good at it.

Out of 172 movies on The Asylum’s production list (as of today) roughly 10 or 15 of their films are somewhat watchable. Only about 5 of those films actually succeed in the bad-good genre.

That’s coming from someone who loves the terrible B-movie thing.

Alpha House was trying to be a mix of Van Wilder and Revenge of the Nerds. It tried very hard. In the end, it wasn’t even one of The Asylum’s watchable movies. None of the jokes were funny. The script was so basic it felt like a 14 year old boy wrote it. The line for bad-good wasn’t even on the radar for this film.

It seems like I’m rolling a lot of terrible movies lately. The good part is that they’re getting off my list and soon only the better movies will be left. The bad part is that I’m watching a lot of crap movies.

Netflix has some real hidden gems. This is just a rut.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 18%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 1.1/5
Trust-the-Dice Score1/5

The Random Rating: R

Movie Trailer: